GAB1

Ex Navy Commando. Spent 10 years fighting secret wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Russia, the UK. Was captured and tortured Hollywood, California. Managed to escape by remembering my training in the Art of Bullshit. Ran, swam, hitchhiked to a safe house right next to the 'Government Property - Trespassers Will Be Shot' sign at Area 51. Everything okay for a while. No news was good news. Then I Amazoned two orders of french fries and got f*cking tinnitus.