If I hadn't listened to the doctor & trusted him with medication, then my ears would have been fine. Worse thing for me, is I hated the bloke, and the meds he put me on didn't even help with what they we're supposed to do, but instead permanently damaged my ears! Yay! BUT I don't care. It is what it is. We can't change it, so let's move forward. Obviously it takes time to get over it. You're allowed to grieve first.