Tinnitus Talk Support Forum

@Hamsti, can you not just wear Ear Defenders when your daughter cries? Leave them off the rest of the time?

@Damocles Yeah, you never know when she starts to cry :(

Everyone says I should not worry because its loud, but not to loud to cause damage. I want to believe this.

@Damocles I've been thinking about constructing a contraption in which a set of ear defenders are hooked to my waist at all times, and so you can grab it in case of acoustic emergency. Would look kinda funky, but might work. &(⌐■_■)&

Early on in my journey I used to wear them on a lanyard in a case.

@Hamsti, I hate to sound like I'm advocating "living in fear", but fear and caution are closely related and are key components of what keep us alive. We shouldn't be so quick to turn our noses up at such states of being.

Unfortunately I am inclined to disagree that a baby's cry cannot cause damage. I have absolutely heard baby's scream and cry, both before and after my hearing damage, and it can be ear-splitting.

I would truly advocate putting on Ear Defenders first, then picking her up and comforting her.

I realise this is difficult, as your instinct as a mother is to look after your beautiful daughter, first and foremost.

But just remind yourself, that were you to get any worse with this terrible affliction, you would be less able to look after her and participate in her life as she grows up.

I can tell you are an amazing mother and will be there for her all her life. Just remember to look after yourself too.

@Stacken77, I used to dream of inventing a pair of futuristic "smart earplugs" that would sit comfortably in the bowl of the outer ear; then when they detected a noise over a decibel level that was damaging to the ear, would quickly close up, creating a seal across the ear canal (a bit like dynamic speakers for the ears).

Were they to exist, we could wear them all day, confident of not suffering further hearing trauma and without creating the drawback risk of ear infection, or hyperacusis as a result of over-protection all day everyday.

Those were the kinds of thoughts I entertained back in the day. Tinnitus has a way of grounding you in the reality of your circumstances, like no psychologist ever could.

@Damocles not being able to be there for her when she grows older is my biggest fear. how should I survive her birthdays? how I am able to play with her?

When she cries, I have to put out my hearing aids, put them in their box, but on my ear defenders, till then the damage is made.
My husband is mad at me and thinks I am overreacting.

My 4y old niece is so loud, everything normal she is a child. but how should I manage this? I understand nothing without my hearing aids.

That's an incredibly difficult problem to solve @Hamsti. Have you talked with an audiologist about this specific situation? If not, I'd encourage you to. Shouldn't there be a hearing aid with some degree of protection out there? There must be a way to accommodate both problems.

I just spent 5k Euros to buy new aids, I can't afford new ones.

That does make things a lot more complicated, as @Stacken77 said.

Are you unable to wear Ear Defenders over your hearing aids then @Hamsti?

@Damocles I tried, but I get a loud whistle as feedback from the aids.

But honestly, I'm already a shitty mother. I live in fear of my own baby, I don't go to crawling groups with her (too loud), I don't let music play, although that would have a positive influence on her development ... I could go on and on with the list.

And I will never know if my tinnitus gets louder because all of the noise or because I stimulate my limbic system to the max. I already hear a ton of tones everywhere I go. I really cant imagine how it should be worse. And no, dont tell me how.

And how should this go on? Pick ups from kindergarten? Children's birthdays? How do I comfort her when she falls? I cannot live like this, always in fear. Asking myself if I put on the ear defender fast enough...that is no life, and I dont want to have this life for my daughter.