@CRGC I know this feeling, and its human to feel this way. But, in the end, feeling guilt doesn't serve you any good. It just reinforce what you/we already struggle with. Acceptance only happens when letting go of the guilt. Imo, with acceptance, it was easier to look and move forward. One day at a time. For many (me included), this can be a turning point.
Hey @CRGC , We've all been there man. Blaming ourselves for our own actions and wishing we would do things differently. Try not to get fixated on what if scenarios, what's done is done. No point dwelling on the past. It'll only distress you. Look ahead now with everything you've learned. Time will help eventually.