Tinnitus Talk Support Forum

KoolKat
@SarahMLFlemmer ima be honest i sometimes really think we are being punished for something which if im going to be honest is super petty, as i doubt none of us are killers or human traffickers. or maybe killing an insect or eating one counts as a sin. idk as they say god has mysterious ways. or maybe this is some test we are to endure so whenever the day treatment comes we share our story
KoolKat
@SarahMLFlemmer and im not high or a bible thumper either im trying to rationalize this without being disrespecful to our heavenly father. you know people will shame you like oh be grateful you dont have such n such, and im just like STFU. do you know i envy the homeless down in skid row. like ahh to be free of tinnitus.
SarahMLFlemmer
@KoolKat what if they're homeless AND have tinnitus?!!
SarahMLFlemmer
@KoolKat I feel as if I am being punished too sometimes, but also wonder if it's discipline for some of my actions recently to get me humble. I prayed God humble me and here I am. The Bible says God disciplines the ones He loves. I am not saying that that is your case. I'm speaking for myself.
SarahMLFlemmer
@KoolKat I believe that even though evil means to harm me, that all things work for the good of those who love the LORD. IDK if this affliction is Satan or because we live in a fallen world, but this is by far the hardest ailment that I have now, I think.
SarahMLFlemmer
@KoolKat our suffering with this thing is valid, we're all here to testify to that. Although, I did see a man with no legs not that long ago, smiling in his wheelchair and it put some things back into perspective for me.
KoolKat
@SarahMLFlemmer what a horrific combo. Not only is that terrible. but its a reality alot of us will face. In fact some sufferers who cant work or do what they once did cause of tinnitus are facing that. the lucky ones are forced to retire and get their retirement check and already established.. you cant even get disability for tinnitus.and thats messed up since Tinnitus is our militaries number one Disability.
KoolKat
KoolKat
@SarahMLFlemmer Months before I got tinnitus(2013) I said something I think may have cursed me, so this kid who I knew from my high school, ill call him Boy Scout. He came from a good hardworking background. My mother would annoy me n brag about his work ethnics and that he goes & sings at church.
KoolKat
years prior (2008) we all were minors and our beef started when he refused to sell us tickets to see a rated R film. So We go to the another cashier hes cool and looks out Anyway Boy Scout upon finding out we got in he goes out of his way to find n remove me and my friends from seeing the R rated movie as he ratted n told the manager. we used some random man to pretend to be a relative. He even called Security
KoolKat
@SarahMLFlemmer Anyway fast forward(2013) we're all living life post H.S, and boy scout is brutally murdered. im in college and my best friend calls me, I go online I see the facebook tributes, and on the phone I jokingly said something like "oh geez I wonder what would posses someone to kill a sweet boy like him".I kid u not after I told that joke I immediately felt i made a terrible mistake.
KoolKat
that month after his murder my thermostat when set above 70 would make high pitch squealing sounds. it goes on for 2 weeks. it stops what happens. not even a whole week into the next month i get a life altering experience. n one of my sounds sounds like you guessed it. so Around spring of 2014 more info comes out about Boy Scout n to a major shock was participating in things he shouldn't have been into.
KoolKat
anyway point is I feel God got both me and Boy Scout. He should of stayed true to his morals and I should of stayed true to myself and taken the higher road. I felt life was going great for me and im untouchable. so god brought me down to size. Boy Scouts dead physically and me mentally.
Now we are both eternally stuck in 2013….Now remember this could be just a coincidence