@SarahMLFlemmer You must grant yourself the same understanding you would grant someone else in the same situation. I know you're a fantastic Mum, please take time for yourself too - be it to cry or heal.
I'm sorry. I am in the same situation with my twin 5 year olds. I feel the same way today. I guess all we can do is keep trying our best. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your post made me feel not so alone. Thank you for that and I hope tomorrow brings a better day.
Sarah, is the pain you feel a burning pain? If so, I highly suggest ginger tea - from fresh ginger, if possible. It helps to bring the burning in my ears down, & sometimes makes it go away altogether if mild enough.
Also, see if using some ear protection helps - could be particularly useful when playing with the kids if it tends to get loud. Just know that anything short of foam ear plugs tends to have a bad occlusion effect.