crescentsky

Death is certainly a good solution for the massive hole I am in, but the body just seems so damn resilient.

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.. it's just all so ridicolous.. and i notice myself cynical about these things too.. i mean this message in a very respectful way.. trying to find hope, good rhythm, calm & composure again..

Sometimes i tell myself... i just sit this whole damn thing out (life)... but that's also quite sad feeling... the believe it can and will get better... and trying to find some ease, calm and even joy again

Yes. Having a loud noise in your head takes a bit of a toll on cognition. That piece does improve with time though

What did the tenants do?

@Juliane they partied every night until early morning and caused a lot of problems. Very traumatizing and I was going through other things, but they caused me to loose a month of sleep and anxiety. I think it was them triggered all of this T to come on suddenly. No more rentals. I'll just work more and save more. Do anything to go back in time.

That is horrible :-( I know how traumatizing that can be. I experienced one night of neighbors partying, then figthing and screaming for the entire night and I was non-functional for days after.... Those things should have severe penalties

How are you able to work right now? My T spikes due to anything so I’m bedridden

@cyberspace I took about 4 weeks off before returning back to work. I work only a couple of hours onsite and mostly remote. I been forcing myself to work. Was hoping work would kill me faster.

I just said almost these exact words about ten minutes ago.

=(

12 months in, no change.

@SarahMLFlemmer **hugs**

*big hug back*

Sorry to hear... sometimes i feel the same way. I felt so many times.. just let it all end please... pfff... Hope & faith that this condition can get better over time is what helps me the most. Trying to go easy on yourself

I wonder if Jeff Buckley's death was intentional... So many lyrics of his are about drowning, the water, etc.

That's crazy.

I feel this. So sorry we have to suffer like this.

❤️

Christmas wish!

Even without T that is quite the serious of events.

@crescentsky - Honest to God my T worsens at every turn. How can one go 30 or 40 years with no noise Traumas. I’ll miss 10 parties then have a large glass bowl drop out of my hands.

Yeah that’s a lot of money. Was yours in the high frequency like mine or just a standard test up to 8,000 or is that how they do a OAE or some other way? I’m not sure. Alls I know is they did my high frequency test and said, I had sensory tinnitus.

@SharonBell I did two test. A hearing test which is up to 8k. Normal. A hair cell test which returned abnormal. Not sure what sound they tested up to. I didn't hear anything.

The hair cell test shows my brain did not hear almost half the sounds. They didn't really explain it well. Sounds like they don't even know. They couldn't even answer any of my questions. Complete joke.

I see people on subway talking about relationship problems as if it is the end of the world. My entire view on the world has changed ever since I got hit with this BS.

@BB23 I would take relationship problems over tinnitus any day. give me even a toxic one, I'll take that over this shit tinnitus.

I feel you. Especially having severe H along with it.

So true. Unfortunately I can relate to everything you say. If it was not progressing I’d be much, much, much better.

That is exactly how it is.

❤️

sigh I wish, not in CA. CA already won twice in a row. Tho if the choice was lottery vs tinnitus-free...I would choose to be tinnistus-free. nothing is worth this torture and sound.

@cjbhab for reeeaaaalll!

@crescentsky 100%. I would give up all the money in the world to be T free.

I feel exactly the same.

@crescentsky Me too! Would be pure bliss

Does not work. Some people tried and ended up with much worse T. You don't want that.

@gameover I know. But we were imagining that being a possibility (deaf with no T)

Hope so. I’m at 17 months

Sadly there so much hope in the first 2 years. For me as it sinks in that this will probably be for ever, it hurts.

The world is loud as fuck but when you will NEED to go out, you will. At least that is my experience.

This! It's like we are haunted by sound.

So true!!! If I knew there was a limit to how loud this can get I would be so much happier. Problem is it’s so different for everyone.

Why not

My take on it: don't go. I went on such a trip in the beginning of my worsening and it may have ruined me.

yeah, that's what I am going to do. I took a couple of days off to collect myself together. I'll tell my manager next week I will not join the team offsite in-person. If it impacts my overall evaluations for performance, well I guess, I'll just have to take it. This is not the first one I missed when this f-ing nightmare started last year.

Yeah, probably better not to go. I dared to fly for vacation in July, enjoyed it all things considered, but I continue to slowly worsen so I wonder if that contributed. Well, I justified going by doing something nice with my wife maybe for the last time. Work assignment does not sound like it is worth the risk, unless your livelihood depends on it. And even then who knows.

yeah I am not taking it, not worth the risk as it comes with other problems and can potentially make the nightmare worse.

Yeah just had that happening to me. My doctor asked: "So it's just the tinnitus keeping you awake?"

Then suggested Mirtazapine.

Why even bother with these incompetent people

yeah I give up going to these doctors. a friend told me to try another doctor and im like LOL. You think it's that easy?! Even a well known tinnitus psychologist told me, there are worse things that could happen to you at your age! and basically implied at least I am alive and not dead. well, I rather be dead than barely alive at this moment in time.

Better option seems to live healthy lifestyle... maybe that can help improve t over time... self destructive lifestyle is not right way out... but i can feel ya... im also so done with this condition, but i just hope that with healthy lifestyle & time things may slowly recover hopefully... pffft... people dont understand what a crzy condition tinnitus is.. i just joined this forum.. and feel same way...

you'll probably just end up with high blood pressure and then your tinnitus might get worse.

i feel like i have exhausted everything already. prior to this, my life consisted of exercising everyday, eating healthy, green smoothies/juice. i was almost 70% plant based.