You need an outlet like us, people who are in your shoes. While you can't control your situation you can control how you react to it. Try practicing little by little each day doing normal things with the noise until it becomes the new normal.
Tinnitus Talk Support Forum
You're not self absorbed you're adjusting to a hard thing. Hopefully your son can become more understanding in time but try your best to live a new normal life and when you need an outlet we'll be here.
@Mo8409 Good to see you, and thanks for your words. My son means more to me than anything. To lose him in any way breaks my heart far worse than anything T could do to me. I keep trying to get through to him in any way I am able but I am met with disgust. How he acts with his mother is much different, and much different than he was with me 4 months ago.
I want to talk to him about it, but my wife is worried I will blow things up. At this point both my son and I are in therapy separately. My wife thinks our talk should be done with a therapist's guidance. Perhaps she is right, but I miss him. I miss the hugs, the fun we had. Things seemed Ok, but life just through me under the bus again.
I cant let things end like they did with my father and I. I never got to say goodbye because I was mad at him because he wasnt there. I will regret that decision the rest of my life. Karma apparently. I cant let my life end this way.
Sorry for so much negativity on my board. I got nowhere else to go with it.
Unfortunately your son does not understand. It's impossible for them to understand. It hurts but at the least please don't take that one as your fault. Could not be further from the truth. After close to one year I am having the same experiencing with both my wife and daughter. My wife and I had been best friends for many years. You are not alone my friend. Please hang in there for better days. We care for you here.
Breaks my heart to hear this @Tryn2BHopeful I hope things turn around for you (for all of us) for the better. Having close people giving up on you is hard, but have belief in this storm passing too. Don't blame yourself for it. Stay strong!
You are not self-absorbed, you are in pain and trying to figure out how to live with a massive challenge. Unfortunately I found out the hard way that even my closest get tired of hearing about tinnitus. And I guess it is a very depressing topic but unlike other people we cannot just decide not to care about T since it is part of us. That's the difference
You are human
I have to say: with family members becoming estranged like that, I doubt their reaction would be the same if it was a "socially" accepted illness like (god forbid) the big C or a tumor or something. NO ONE outside this community takes tinnitus seriously or knows how debilitating it can be. I blame the medical community for not doing more and the media for not raising awareness.
@Juliane I get it, but its my son. I have been there for him for 16 years, I waited on him hand and foot with his ankle surgery. I have supported him in all the stupid shit he has done over the years, including being and "esports" pro (thank god that ended) I go to every football game whether he is on the sideline or not. I have always been there, except right now... and just like that...
and I still go to the football games and events, despite the loud music, whistles, and overly loud parents. 3 days a fricken week. I bought him 150$ shoes for homecoming and let him splurge on an outfit with my credit card. I dont even get a thank you. I say nothing. I just quietly wait for something, anything.
Anyway enough boohooing I guess. Everyone has their problems. I am sure there are many more on here that are far worse than mine. I appreciate everyones kind words.
@Juliane On a side note.. I dont talk to my kids about tinnitus. Only my wife. However I know I am not the same person I was... I am disconnected and depressed.