Tinnitus Talk Support Forum

One month, got T, reactive T, H, some distortions and strange electric neuron sounds. The distortions got a little better and I also had some angle grinder sound which was horrific but it went away 80%.

Problem is I lost everything. Music gone, series/movies gone, language learning gone, can't study anymore = uni gone, no more gaming = friends will be gone soon. Vacation plans shattered, work gone. Nothing left that helps to cope because everything I used for that is gone.

Apart from the reactive T which permits me from any artifical audio now, music sounds broken. Not distorted but it just lacks something. This broke me. The most nostalgic and important thing of my life gone. And it was my fault. I don't know how to forgive myself...

this sounds pretty bad and I am no expert, but I think you are still at a very early stage. it can still get A LOT better. try to protect your ears in loud places, avoid benzo drugs no matter how bad it gets and fight. don't give up. even though it seems like it, you have not lost everything. many things will come back sooner than you think.

this is going to suck really bad for some time, but even with bad tinnitus most people habituate and live their lifes ok I think. it takes a lot of getting used to, though, at first. try to get some support from your family and friends, don't isolate yourself. you are not alone. give yourself some time to adjust. I really hope you get better!

Hey Kiyomi I'm so sorry you're going through this. I also have reactive t and h. The first few months are the worst, but there is a chance you may improve if you are careful with your sound exposure this early on. I worsened daily for 4 months before I stabilized and slowly started improving. I would just emphasize being extremely careful, finding your noise tolerance and staying within those limits for now.

I ghosted my friends for half a year because it hurt seeing them live their lives while I 'rotted' away in a closet. When I finally contacted them to explain what happened, most chose to move on because of all my new limitations. It sucks but it is what it is. Only two chose to give me empathy and understanding. Those two are the ones that I will make an effort to keep in my life.

My point with this is that you are going to need to put yourself first, and not let yourself feel pressured by friends/family to do things that you cannot safely do. Your real friends are going to understand, and those who don't aren't worth keeping in your life.

I also love music. It was my safe space. Sometimes I would spend hours listening to music while being lost in a daydream. I love it so much, but the funny thing is that my love for music is part of what got me here.

It ain't the same, but what I like to do is read lyrics and imagine the song in my head. Every now and then the stars will align and a chorus or melody I'm imagining will feel so real that it sends a wave of euphoria through my body. It may seem impossible now but eventually you will find ways to cope and enjoy your interests once again.

For reference, at my worst I had to sit or stand in one spot all day because everything would cause me to spike. My heart rate increasing, the sound of my footsteps, the floor squeaking, even the sound of my clothing. All sounded excruciatingly loud and would cause insane tinnitus spikes. This was all in double protection. However, I have improved and am able to be happy again. I think you will too.

@DesertRain same for me! music was/is my medicine. I made music for 20+ years, usually loud on headphones and I never even considered the possibility that it could hurt me... I thought tinnitus only happens to soldiers in combat situations.

after half a year of bad tinnitus I started listening to music again and as time went on I got better and better at blending out the T. it works. maybe not for everyone or every kind of music, though

what broke me and made my T unbearable were benzo drugs I took for a very long time, because of anxiety and sleep issues. that is something i can't forgive myself: messing up my life twice. :/