Marina, Im very sorry for what you're going through. I've glanced over some of your posts and wanted to reach out because I went through something similar and had neck surgery. It can be lonely when people don't understand what you're going through. Feel free to reach out if you ever need to vent or chat. Better days are ahead.
Tinnitus Talk Support Forum
i want to heal, but i also want all the rensentment i'm bottling up inside to go away.
"so what if you can't open your mouth," "you're in pain because YOU'RE MORBIDLY OBESE," "I need physical therapy more than you." "The police are going to blame you for not taking yourself to the hospital," "Live with it, this pain is normal," "WAAAAH MY NECK HURTS WAAAAAH *laughs*," "you're not standing enough," "you look fine, nobody would know you're in pain." "IF YOU DON'T WORK HOW I AM SUPPOSED TO!? "
above quotes are things my mom, dad, and sis said to me over the past months. there's more, but these stick out the most. Words that haunt me and make me cry. I'm holding so much resentment, i wish i wasn't.
I wish i wasn't experiencing this. The pain obviously, but how much i hate my family rn. But maybe when i heal, we'll all laugh about this together, 'haha remember when I was threatening to call the police that summer because you refused to take me to the doctors and pinned the blame on me for not taking myself when i couldn't even get out of bed--" oh wait that will never be funny.
Everytime i talk to my mom about my pain, or why i think i have various symptoms, she rolls her eyes at me. Because she thinks all my pain is derived from me being fat. Yup, all the trigeminal and facial BURNING was a fat attack! WOW!! GREAT MEDICAL DEDUCTION MOM!! (sarcasm)
i'm insulted that my parents think i'm that stupid to believe that bullshit lol
Dealing with tinnitus, pain, and family stress is tough. Others may not grasp the severity. Your nervous system is overactive because of all you are experiencing. Seeking mental health support could help manage the emotional strain. Take it day by day; brighter ones are coming.