i can't live without my mom, i don't want to know a life without her in it.
Tinnitus Talk Support Forum
i will hate myself for the rest of my life for not throwing myself down on the floor to cushion her fall. fuck fuck fuck!!!!
i don't even think i would have been strong enough to hold her. but to have broken that fall. replaying in my mind on what could have been done differently. i'm useless.
I truly am living in a debilitating body. It's only day 2 of taking on more tasks around the house and i am in so much full body pain. I had to force myself to finish washing the dishes even when the pain started pooling in my middle and lower back and my face felt like it was being pricked with needles. Ear pain has been becoming back too.
Nightmares are everpresent, of the current situation and my own. I dreamed that a tmj doc was trying to forcefully open my mouth, and that none of my body scans were accessible to the dentists.
my mom said to me "i have it worse than you." I am trying to not let it upset me because i can't rn. I did not even start to compare our symptoms she just said that and I know that when people are hurt they tend to say things they don't mean, so i didn't say anything in response to that i just laughed (why???)
there is a gradual improvement of her symtoms but it could take at least 2 weeks to a full month for her to make a full recovery and i desperately with all my heart want her to make a full recovery. So i'm just going to ignore any little...other...comments.
I had a dozen wierd neuro symtpoms for months, including vertigo, bad headaches, bouts of nausea and vomiting that had nothing to do with what i ate (i'd wake up in the night or morning and want to puke), and more symptoms. But y'all know how the story goes, i was ignored, gaslight and told to lose weight. And i still have daily pain that i must learn to tolerate because doctors know shit.
I'm sorry. I'd rather vent here then cry in the house right now, because i don't want to get anyone else's emotions up because my mom needs to rest. The internet is a good outlet when it needs to be!