I know that feeling all too well. I spend much of my day trying to find little things I can do to stay productive, or at least distracted. I shudder to think how much I could have accomplished in the past two years, were it not for the ear injury.
Tinnitus Talk Support Forum
@ECP, I'm only in my 4th month, and I regret living through these 4 months so much. I should have died 4 months ago. Anyone with even a little dignity or self-respect shouldn't have to go through what I've experienced. I have ACRN on all day because I can't handle it otherwise. Even with two different fan noises, ACRN, and masking sounds, sleeping is pure torture.
@ECP, Falling asleep feels like a struggle. I would choose lifelong house arrest if it meant being free of this issue, though I'm already under house arrest in a way. I can't leave the house. I only go out for grocery shopping. When I tell this to a doctor, I'm sure they'll think I'm exaggerating or lying, because even I can't grasp that something like this is real.
I hope your symptoms get better soon. Although it may not give you much comfort, many people do get better with time. It's just that the first few months are the worst and the most surreal.
Two years into this, I am able to go out for reasons other than grocery shopping. I just have to be selective about where and when and how long. You may also reach that point if you hang on long enough. I remember my first four months were the worst.
@ECP, Yes, maybe this surreal feeling will lessen over time, but if I have to live like this for the rest of my life, I'll either go insane and end up committing suicide, live a hard life on heavy medication, or be put in a mental institution. Since it was caused by acoustic trauma and I missed the chance for early treatment, I don't believe there will be any "recovery."
Most likely, I'll end up completely withdrawing from everything and living in torment until the end of my life, because nothing is improving. In fact, I've lost more control, balance, and feel even more disconnected from reality. What was the initial cause for you? Did you receive any early treatment?
The initial cause is a long story to tell, but you can find it under my profile as the very first posting I made. An urgent-care doctor gave me some prednisone pills exactly 2 weeks after the injury, but they didn't help. I probably should've sought treatment immediately instead of waiting 2 weeks.
I've worked from home for many years. I stopped working almost completely after the injury, but I am gradually becoming more productive now. Everyone says that the healing process is non-linear. I've had improvement followed by worsening followed by more improvement. It's discouraging, but I am definitely better now than I was 2 years ago, so I try to focus on that.
Perhaps in a few months, you will also look back and realize that while your symptoms went up and down from day to day, that overall you are getting better. You said earlier that you feel like you're in the Mariana Trench. As we say in America, if a situation is the worst it can be, "There is nowhere to go but up."
@ECP, When you say, "I'm better now," what exactly do you mean? I don't think there's a reduction or relief in the ringing sound. Are you referring to getting used to this new lifestyle? What exactly? Hahaha yes, this saying makes perfect sense, but I'm stuck in the Mariana Trench. I'm not sinking any lower, but I'm exhausted and drained.