It makes me sad to hear this too. I know 100% where you are coming from @ECP The biggest difference is, seems like (judging from what your write), is that I still find a lot of joy in many situations of life. I could always want differently, and grieving is okay and human - but it doesn't help one bit.
Tinnitus Talk Support Forum
Thank you @MindOverMatter. It's not that I don't find joy in anything--my issue is feeling socially uncomfortable around healthy people who knew me when I was healthy and who are now going to feel awkward when they find out how sick I became. I feel inauthentic when I downplay how bad it is, but if I don't downplay it, I know they will be taken aback.
@MindOverMatter I also feel like I'm going to be a burden socially. I told 4 friends in a group email how I've been doing, and now they're talking about us all getting together when I'm up for it. I'm afraid to explain to them that no matter how quiet they are, and no matter how quiet the venue is, I may have to leave early anyway, and it won't be their fault.
@MindOverMatter And another old friend emailed me over the summer to say hi. I have yet to respond because the thought of telling him about my ear injury triggers my PTSD. I realized today that I don't have to tell him about it, and a weight lifted from my shoulders. He lives thousands of miles away and is unlikely to visit, so I see no reason to burden him with the story.