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  • Users: hartje5
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  1. hartje5

    Need Some Positivity

    Hi everyone, I have been off the board for quite a while. Unfortunately I have not turned the corner yet. I am still deeply depressed and my heart condition has worsened. I have heart failure. Tinnitus is still very present. Some days more than others. So here I am. I lost my job and home all...
  2. hartje5

    What's Your Recipe for Tinnitus?

    Here's how you cook tinnitus: - work in a call centre and have a beep in your ears every night when you're in bed; - wait a couple of years; - get a heart condition, preferably a rhythm problem; - have mild tinnitus and forget to mention you have it to anyone; - have an MRI have tinnitus for...
  3. hartje5

    Oh My God — I Hear Silence!

    After some horrible days with light sabel tinnitus this evening I hear - dare I say it - something similar to silence! How is that possible. I'm afraid to really listen in for fear I might pick up a sound. So I keep from listening closely. Wauw. Mmm... I've heard it.... It's not complete...
  4. hartje5

    My Worst Nightmare

    Hi people, I've been off the board for a while. I am doing CBT for 8 weeks now. But since yesterday all hell broke loose. Have been experiencing the most horrible spike. Diamond cutter head drill leaves me in total panic with no sleep. I have been taking valium last night even though I fought so...
  5. hartje5

    As Long As I'm on Benzos, Hyperacusis Is Not a Problem. How Come?

    I've tapered Xanax and Valium. Two weeks ago I took my last dose. Today I have really, really bad hyperacusis and I'm scared. Scared to death. I can handle T. but H.... Xanax took care of my H. in February. As long as I'm on benzo's H. is no problem. How can this be?
  6. hartje5

    Life Is Cruel Sometimes

    Here I am. Devastated by tinnitus caused by heart medication in December 0f 2015. Visited my cardiologist today. I have to start taking medication to prevent heart failure and I'm scared to death. I'm depressed and scared of my tinnitus. and on top of that HAVE to take a risk and take medication...
  7. hartje5

    Feel I Can't Do This Anymore

    I've been through hell for 8,5 month now and it's not getting any better. Was at my work for an hour yesterday and had to pay and am still paying for it with increased T and nausea. This is no life. I can't do this anymore. I've seen two psychiatrists. One in the crisis centre who put me on...
  8. hartje5

    Nausea and Tinnitus — Can They Be Related?

    Every morning I get nauseated. I'm fine when I wake up but then I turn over and nausea sets in. I'm so sick and tired of this feeling. I usually subsides when I eat something. It's like I'm pregnant and having morning sickness. Which that was the case. Are nausea and T. related?
  9. hartje5

    So Scared, New Meds (ACE or ARB Inhibitor)

    Hi everyone, This Thursday I have to go to my cardiologist and she is going to prescribe me and ACE or ARB inhibitor because my mitral valve is leaking and she wants to lower my blood pressure (which is fine 70/110) to prevent heart failure. I am so terribly terribly scared. Heart medication...
  10. hartje5

    Habituating to Fluctuating Tinnitus

    My god. What an awful ride this T. is. How can I ever habituate to T. that one day presents itself as a piercing hurting higher than a dentist drill like torture sound and the next day is much more quiet. Ok, I get it, I should enjoy the more quiet times but all I do is be afraid and depressed...
  11. hartje5

    Hot Bath — Tinnitus Reduction

    Hi all, When I take a hot bath my tinnitus sometimes reduces enormously. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with lowering my blood pressure or increasing the blood flow. I don't think the effect could be completely due to relaxation. Any ideas?
  12. hartje5

    Will the Depression Ever Lift?

    Hi guys, I'm back. Staying away from TT isn't working so I'm posting again. Started my 12 week tinnitus habituation course. Had two meetings. Don't know what to think. Depression is my biggest enemy at the moment. I am tapering of Valium. Am on 3 mg a day and 30 mg Remeron but am so down you...
  13. hartje5

    Tell Me it Ain't So

    Yesterday I had my first counseling session with a lady who specializes in T. All I could hear from her is that I have to adapt my lifestyle give up things to accommodate T. Find new balance. But I can't do that. I have already gone through that process with my heart issues. Had to take a job...
  14. hartje5

    Tapering Xanax 0,375 - 0,25 mg

    As from today I'm tapering Xanax from 0,375 mg to 0,25 mg. That might not seem like a big deal but really it is to me. My taper from 0,5 mg to 0,375 mg was hell. Burning feet, deepening depression (feeling suicidal nearly every day), extreme neck pain. Ugh.. Which me luck. I pray my T. isn't...
  15. hartje5

    A Day of Silence / Trouble at Work

    Tuesday I had one day of relative silence without depression, I was filled with energy. The old me was back for a day. I didn't feel like visiting TT. I was doing good and started to feel confident again. Then yesterday morning, the noise was back. I had two appointments with people to assess...
  16. hartje5

    TRT in the US?

    As I live in Europe in a country where TRT is not available I'm thinking about coming to the US for treatment. The trip, the stay, the treatment is going to cost me a lot, probably all our savings. Are there people on this forum who have done TRT? Can you tell me your experience? Would you fly...
  17. hartje5

    Tinnitus Noise Coming from My Throat

    Hi, Yesterday I had quite a good T. day. Unfortunately now I'm waking up with this awful sound that comes from my throat. I know it will shift to my head or ears sometime today but I'm finding this noise from my throat really really hard to deal with. It makes me nauseated. It feels like it is...
  18. hartje5

    Too Scared to Live, Too Scared to Die

    This nightmare has been going on for 6,5 month now. I'm trying to taper Xanax. I'm down to 0,375 mg a day. But I get so scared. Scared T & H will return full force. I know I can't deal with that level of noise. Every day I wish my life would just end. But it can't. I can't leave my children...
  19. hartje5

    Facing the Beast

    I've been on the T emotional roller coaster ride for 6 month now. My T was so bad in the first two month I would have ear drum pain, the feeling of ever changing fluid behind my eardrums and sudden loud explosions of sound next to an extremely loud ultra high pitch squeal moving through my head...
  20. hartje5

    Tapering off Xanax 0,5 mg XR

    Last friday I had an appointment with my new psychiatrist. Currently I'm on 30 mg Remeron (Mirtazapine) and 1 x 0,5 mg Xanax in the morning. I started using Xanax 2 x 0,5 mg last February. Took myself of 1 pill in April, which was hard but I was already feeling horrible so I took the extra loud...
  21. hartje5

    Still Not Doing Any Better

    I official have tinnitus now for 6 month (minus 2 days). It's been al really rough ride. Last year I had major heart surgery, which failed. When after a few month they gave me new medication (not necessary in hindsight) I got very very loud T, H and nausea and panic attacks all day long. I...
  22. hartje5

    Help Me Please

    Hi, I live in the north of Europe, so please forgive me for making mistakes in my English. I have had really, really bad T. since 4 december last. In May of 2015 I had major heart surgery. It did not go very well. I had a pacemaker implanted and then went into rehab. On October 2014 my doctor...