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Could you share a link @kingsfan? I would appreciate it.

This is exactly what I tell everyone. You really did like me pre-March 2021. I'm not that person anymore, nor can I ever be that person again.

@2049v I've tried dieting, exercise, silence, white noise, antidepressants, and more. I know that weightlifting has made it worse. Nothing has helped in the slightest. I am assuredly not going to ever live the life I wanted for myself.

No, no difference at all, at least that I could directly correlate to the CT Scan.

CT scan was fine for me. No immediate noticeable difference.

@2049v It doesn't matter if it's remote. I was remote for a year and it made no difference in my ability to concentrate. I was fired from that job for not meeting metrics.

I was leading a very healthy lifestyle. Weightlifting 5 times a week and counting my calories. I was in a stable relationship and had no excess noise exposure, but of course who knows how to estimate "excess". I just had my six-year anniversary yesterday.

No doctors have been able to give me any guidance. I'm not sure what is going on. It's just been pure hell.

Yes. It began out of the blue as I sat eating lunch at home one day and has slowly worsened since.

No clue. Started randomly one day.

Four years. Catastrophic multitone reactive tinnitus with intermittent hyperacusis.

No. Nothing works. My doctors say I should be on an antidepressant, but I can't risk this getting any louder.

Yep. It's louder than my A/C, masking noises, and fan. No one seems to understand that I don't think anymore, there is only noise in my head.

@2049v I don't have a choice. It's work or... what? I have no family to move in with or anything. It's just me. I'm close to losing my job again. My boss pulled me into her office and told me in short form that I basically wasn't doing my work right. I have to play loud rain noises constantly...

@BrOKeN_1 I can't listen to audiobooks. The constant chirping of my reactive tinnitus makes it totally impossible. I also really can't be outside for more than a few minutes at a time. A car driving by, even in the distance, makes my ears shrill and shriek. The whine of breaks makes me cringe...

Long, hot showers.

I have no trouble falling asleep. Tinnitus tires me out completely.

@cullenbohannon Yes, more than just an interest. I have a graduate degree in philosophy. My specializations included Martin Heidegger, technology, postmodern thought, Deleuze, and more. Albert Camus holds a special place for me. His thinking is easy to approach and enact.

Yeah. Waking up and thinking "So, this is it?" Every day is just unbearable and numbing.

Yes, this is the main form of my tinnitus. It makes most things disabling. Can't be in cars or trains or near A/C or heating systems. The beeps become EEEEEEEEEE

Rain makes mine even louder. That would be a total nightmare.

Now that you've learned...never give yourself an opportunity to have a real reason to come back to this forum. Remember what you've experienced--forever.

My brain just sort of blacks out. I don't "fall asleep" really. It's like a trauma response. It's also the best part of my day and my entire life.

That's what I try to explain to those in my life. There is no "me" time. The "me" is gone. It's just noise now. I'm just a vessel for the noise. All I can do is distract myself from it or I'll never stop crying.

@MiaVIL I have basically no hearing above 10Khz, and I'm only 34.

I've always thought that the world was indifferent. A subtle but growing part of me has started to believe that it is actively malign and cruel, conspiratorial in its desire to harm itself and those within it.

Hearing aids made my reactive tinnitus much worse. I only tried them for a few minutes and it was enough for me to know they would only harm me.

I did. He was a total idiot even though he was at one of the best hospitals on the East Coast. He said "How can your auditory nerve be damaged if it's encased in bone? That's ridiculous."