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  1. Kiyomi

    I'm torn between giving up or trying to push through. I'm scared of both options. I don't know...

    I'm torn between giving up or trying to push through. I'm scared of both options. I don't know what I should do next.
  2. Kiyomi

    Cleaning my basement, finding all those childhood memories and relicts... I want to live and...

    Cleaning my basement, finding all those childhood memories and relicts... I want to live and reach my dreams, but my ears get me everytime..
  3. Kiyomi

    But yea, with hearing pro inside my ears, the crackling is much quieter. It also depends on my...

    But yea, with hearing pro inside my ears, the crackling is much quieter. It also depends on my posture and other things. I think those tubes equalize pressure?
  4. Kiyomi

    Isn't the crackling when swallowing hearing the eustachian tubes? I read that this is normal. I...

    Isn't the crackling when swallowing hearing the eustachian tubes? I read that this is normal. I never heard the crackling before onset but I think this could be H related? Maybe some filter that filtered the sound got destroyed when my ears got damaged.
  5. Kiyomi

    Again I'm writing those depressive walls of text. Last week I was doing so great but now I feel...

    Again I'm writing those depressive walls of text. Last week I was doing so great but now I feel so bad again. I just want a second chance, please I want my old life back god.
  6. Kiyomi

    It's time to forget about treatments and cures. Once the ears are fried in this way, they are...

    It's time to forget about treatments and cures. Once the ears are fried in this way, they are done. Habituation is the way forward sadly. Watching stuff or playing games is the only thing that let's me forget about all this and I am grateful that I'm able to handle those. The moment I step out...
  7. Kiyomi

    It has been a great 22 years and I'm thankful for all the memories but I'm done. I'm not...

    It has been a great 22 years and I'm thankful for all the memories but I'm done. I'm not suffering 24/7 but I'm not strong enough to just push through and still try to achieve something. I'm weak and my ears will put me down forever.
  8. Kiyomi

    Reading, gaming on low volume, going out hiking in quiet places. That's about it. No more...

    Reading, gaming on low volume, going out hiking in quiet places. That's about it. No more stress, no more trying to achieve something. Probably going to quit work too. Friends gone.
  9. Kiyomi

    There is no need to try anymore. Uni is gone and with my ears being like this there won't be...

    There is no need to try anymore. Uni is gone and with my ears being like this there won't be anything that requires concentration in quiet anymore. There were many jobs I had interest in but now I will work at some supermarket or go on social welfare. Society doesn't care about me, it's loud, 0%...
  10. Kiyomi

    Finding a partner, having children, travelling the world, living and studying abroad, producing...

    Finding a partner, having children, travelling the world, living and studying abroad, producing music etc. I have 0% ambition now but accepting that my ears are done gets me through this eventually.
  11. Kiyomi

    Accepting that it's over for the most part definitely helps. I had a good thing going before all...

    Accepting that it's over for the most part definitely helps. I had a good thing going before all of this but now it does not matter anymore.
  12. Kiyomi

    For people with custom earplugs: Which do you have, when do you use them and which filters do...

    For people with custom earplugs: Which do you have, when do you use them and which filters do you have?
  13. Kiyomi

    Anyone knows some good earmuffs? Something that doesn't look too much like peltors. 10db...

    Anyone knows some good earmuffs? Something that doesn't look too much like peltors. 10db reduction is enough.
  14. Kiyomi

    High pitched sounds like brakes or kids screaming aren't that bad tho.

    High pitched sounds like brakes or kids screaming aren't that bad tho.
  15. Kiyomi

    Digital audio isn't a problem anymore. I can even listen to music on moderate volume. But...

    Digital audio isn't a problem anymore. I can even listen to music on moderate volume. But everyday sounds like paper, metal on metal, dishes and so on make my ears feel exhausted.
  16. Kiyomi

    I guess it is time for 24/7 hearing pro. Paper, metal, dishes, driving, all those things are...

    I guess it is time for 24/7 hearing pro. Paper, metal, dishes, driving, all those things are awful, but with 10db earplugs, it's no problem.
  17. Kiyomi

    Reactive T settled down quite a bit. But TTTS and ear fullness are getting worse. My ears just...

    Reactive T settled down quite a bit. But TTTS and ear fullness are getting worse. My ears just feel fried 90% of the day.
  18. Kiyomi

    I'm still going to the hair salon and get it done with clippers. I use musical earplugs while...

    I'm still going to the hair salon and get it done with clippers. I use musical earplugs while being there. But depending on your T and severity, this might be a bad idea. Maybe talk to your barber beforehand and look which accommodations can be made.
  19. Kiyomi

    Root Canal → Prednisone and Tylenol → Weird Tinnitus Symptoms

    Did you take 5 mg Prednisone per day? Isn't that a pretty small dose? I think around 40-60 mg is way more common.
  20. Kiyomi

    @HighleyTall No but I might try it out soon. I'm just a little bit scared that it could make me...

    @HighleyTall No but I might try it out soon. I'm just a little bit scared that it could make me worse. Do you have any resources or tips regarding osteopathy?
  21. Kiyomi

    So yea, the reactivity is key. If it goes away, I would be so happy. I still have other issues...

    So yea, the reactivity is key. If it goes away, I would be so happy. I still have other issues. Ear fullness comes and goes randomly, TTTs has gotten better, H is better too. The only thing that really triggers my loudness H is paper rustling. It sounds like 200DB.
  22. Kiyomi

    I'm still pretty certain that although my T is noise induced, the damage itself exacerbated...

    I'm still pretty certain that although my T is noise induced, the damage itself exacerbated others issues that already existed but weren't really apparent.
  23. Kiyomi

    On most days, my T will start silent or near silent and will rise in volume through any sound...

    On most days, my T will start silent or near silent and will rise in volume through any sound exposure. Silence/near silence -> hissing -> high pitched T. The T tones will also start to oscillate and sound more random. It's never a normal static sound...
  24. Kiyomi

    Could also be snoring. I'm at a sleep-laboratory next week, maybe I can get some insights there.

    Could also be snoring. I'm at a sleep-laboratory next week, maybe I can get some insights there.
  25. Kiyomi

    @_Shoto_ I also did a Breaking Bad rewatch. :)

    @_Shoto_ I also did a Breaking Bad rewatch. :)
  26. Kiyomi

    My T is seems to be super somatic. If I sleep on my stomach, I will wake up in silence/very low...

    My T is seems to be super somatic. If I sleep on my stomach, I will wake up in silence/very low T. Maybe neck tension?
  27. Kiyomi

    My T is getting more and more high pitched, my reactive T aswell, but the volume of the reactive...

    My T is getting more and more high pitched, my reactive T aswell, but the volume of the reactive T has gone down. From 3/10 to 1-1.5/10.
  28. Kiyomi

    New Reactive Whistling Tinnitus Sound — Will It Go Away?

    I have had the exact same thing going on for three months, although it was louder at the beginning. I only notice it when I focus on it. I think it's dysacusis rather than reactive tinnitus. When I hear static sounds like white noise, fans, or car engines, high-pitched static tinnitus tries to...
  29. Kiyomi

    @_Shoto_ What shows are you currently watching? Do you only watch dubbed, because as a sub...

    @_Shoto_ What shows are you currently watching? Do you only watch dubbed, because as a sub enjoyer, I am already at level 100 when it comes to reading subtitles. :)
  30. Kiyomi

    Everyday either the countless restrictions my life has now or the symptoms themselves take me...

    Everyday either the countless restrictions my life has now or the symptoms themselves take me right back to that evening. No escape. It's over. Can't study like this so uni will be gone, no education, all for nothing. Only thing I can do is write on my profile page in this forum, crying and...
  31. Kiyomi

    @TheCapybara I read about the dangers of tinnitus two weeks before it happened. I actually...

    @TheCapybara I read about the dangers of tinnitus two weeks before it happened. I actually remembered the reddit post I had read while sitting in the car getting my ears destroyed. I would have never listened to music that loud, but I wasn't driving. I did not say anything, but I should have. I...
  32. Kiyomi

    I can't believe this is it? Worrying about my ears everytime I leave my home, leaving all...

    I can't believe this is it? Worrying about my ears everytime I leave my home, leaving all hobbies that defined me. Ears destroyed. All because of 30 minutes of loud music, all because I thought my ears can handle it. It's all my fault. Will these be the final things I think about before I go?
  33. Kiyomi

    No one irl understands, I have no one to talk to without it ending in "I can't help you". How...

    No one irl understands, I have no one to talk to without it ending in "I can't help you". How even explain this to friends if even the "professionals" brush it of as a mental issue?? Everytime I try to go that route I get trashed + my ears get finished even more.
  34. Kiyomi

    I just want my old life back. I miss my music so much, I miss playing with my friends, I miss...

    I just want my old life back. I miss my music so much, I miss playing with my friends, I miss studying. It's all gone. I'm alone everyday. WHY does it need to be reactive? Why does stuff like this even exist.
  35. Kiyomi

    @TheCapybara If I stay in silence for long and do nothing, all tones calm down and I actually...

    @TheCapybara If I stay in silence for long and do nothing, all tones calm down and I actually have silence sometimes, but If I dare to do more than just existing or have some fun, reactive T or aural fullness will step right in.
  36. Kiyomi

    @TheCapybara I can deal with H and the distortions. I can deal with normal static T too. What I...

    @TheCapybara I can deal with H and the distortions. I can deal with normal static T too. What I can't deal with is my ears feeling just destroyed. High pitched hissing, neuron firing, oscillating T.
  37. Kiyomi

    I'm in such a dark place again. I'm empty. I feel like my old self already died 3 months ago...

    I'm in such a dark place again. I'm empty. I feel like my old self already died 3 months ago. Everything is falling apart, one by one.
  38. Kiyomi

    TTTS, aural fullness and reactive T makes it impossible to habituate. I can somehow deal with...

    TTTS, aural fullness and reactive T makes it impossible to habituate. I can somehow deal with the normal T and H, but this is too much.
  39. Kiyomi

    @streifzug Yea I hope they will be worth the money. I only bought them because with non-custom...

    @streifzug Yea I hope they will be worth the money. I only bought them because with non-custom earplugs, my ears start to hurt pretty bad after 3-4 hours.
  40. Kiyomi

    @streifzug https://hoerluchs.com/produkt/sowei-free/

    @streifzug https://hoerluchs.com/produkt/sowei-free/
  41. Kiyomi

    I got "freetime" custom earplugs. They are for loud freetime activities, with 10db and 20db...

    I got "freetime" custom earplugs. They are for loud freetime activities, with 10db and 20db filters. I will use them for driving, work and some other things. I'm just worried that 20db may be too much and 10 too little. I mostly used the alpine music plugs which are 19db..
  42. Kiyomi

    Which type of custom earplugs do you use? Musician, work or freetime earplugs? I finally bought...

    Which type of custom earplugs do you use? Musician, work or freetime earplugs? I finally bought custom earplugs today.
  43. Kiyomi

    The reactiveness will end me. If it does not go away it will be my end. Three months of...

    The reactiveness will end me. If it does not go away it will be my end. Three months of nothingness, feels like already being dead.
  44. Kiyomi

    What exactly is residual inhibition and are there scientific facts about it? How can I...

    What exactly is residual inhibition and are there scientific facts about it? How can I differentiate residual inhibition and healing?
  45. Kiyomi

    My ears just feel destroyed. I don't mean T or the pain, they just feel fatigued and broken...

    My ears just feel destroyed. I don't mean T or the pain, they just feel fatigued and broken. When will this subside?
  46. Kiyomi

    Suicidal

    The ability to go to bed and be in silence before falling asleep is one of the greatest things I lost. I used this time to think about life, my day, and my plans for the next day, and I actually thought about a lot of fantasy stories I had created myself. This sounds strange, I know, but I did...
  47. Kiyomi

    Maybe wait a little bit. It's probably not a good idea to do loud stuff in the healing phase..

    Maybe wait a little bit. It's probably not a good idea to do loud stuff in the healing phase..
  48. Kiyomi

    Be Honest. Do You Still Enjoy Life?

    No and I can't see myself enjoying life anymore. I destroyed my ears and they are gone forever. I lost almost all the things that gave me joy and am still in the process of losing more. I just try to enjoy small segments of a day. There are good and bad days. I just want the reactiveness to go...
  49. Kiyomi

    Therapy will probably end the same, so why even wait 2000 years for a therapist only to get...

    Therapy will probably end the same, so why even wait 2000 years for a therapist only to get gaslighted again? I wish I had someone to talk to in person who understands this but I'm just alone. No cure, no repair, it's over.
  50. Kiyomi

    Doctors can't help, get angry or don't even care about the shit I have to say. Two months of...

    Doctors can't help, get angry or don't even care about the shit I have to say. Two months of waiting, I even asked if the tests they do are loud. "No" they said. Got fucked again. And in the end I did not even get a chance to talk to the doctor myself. No help, not even trying to understand me...
  51. Kiyomi

    Everytime there is a chance of hope I get destroyed in the process. I think it's better to...

    Everytime there is a chance of hope I get destroyed in the process. I think it's better to accept that the only sources of joy will be eating and watching/playing quiet stuff.
  52. Kiyomi

    It's over. I've accepted that my ears are ruined and I will never enjoy my life again. 22 years...

    It's over. I've accepted that my ears are ruined and I will never enjoy my life again. 22 years old and it's already the end.
  53. Kiyomi

    So I hope your symptoms get better to a point where you can think about something else, even if...

    So I hope your symptoms get better to a point where you can think about something else, even if it's just for 30min.
  54. Kiyomi

    My T was my own fault but I somehow don't think about the accident that often anymore. My...

    My T was my own fault but I somehow don't think about the accident that often anymore. My symptoms don't seem to be as bad as yours, so I'm able to not fall into the "what if xyz" - phase too often.
  55. Kiyomi

    Reason being is that my T also depends on my posture (I think). I still don't completely know...

    Reason being is that my T also depends on my posture (I think). I still don't completely know what spikes my T and why I get random moments of silence. After some testing I can conclude that the T does not care about what I drink or eat.
  56. Kiyomi

    @Pinhead No I meant that the initial noise damage causes or exacerbates other things. For...

    @Pinhead No I meant that the initial noise damage causes or exacerbates other things. For example TMJ or ETD etc. I read about it somewhere on the forum but I can't find it.
  57. Kiyomi

    Are things still getting worse?

    Are things still getting worse?
  58. Kiyomi

    What anime do you watch, what are your favs? I really enjoyed darker than black, talentless nana...

    What anime do you watch, what are your favs? I really enjoyed darker than black, talentless nana and angels of death, to name a few more unknown ones. I also started the one piece life action series and I love the nostalgic feeling.
  59. Kiyomi

    I've read that noise damage can also exacerbate or cause other issues that themselves cause T...

    I've read that noise damage can also exacerbate or cause other issues that themselves cause T. Is that true?
  60. Kiyomi

    Sounds good. Do you only have T? Is it reactive?

    Sounds good. Do you only have T? Is it reactive?