- Jun 18, 2019
- 294
- Tinnitus Since
- 05/24/2019
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Chronic headphones use and acute noise induced trauma.
Dear All,
I have seldom found the motivation to post or write anything for the last 23 days, this is how debilitating my experience with tinnitus has been.
I always believed listening to music using better than average (let's face it, very expensive) headphones and IEMs at low volume would keep my hearing protected from severe damage, I couldn't have been more wrong. While headphones themselves did not cause my tinnitus, they certainly contributed to weaken my ears against possible acute noise exposure.
On May 24th, my life (as I know it, at least so far), changed. I was walking along the noisy streets of Paris, not paying much attention to what was around me, when a heavy truck, blocked by traffic, standing at roughly 50cm from my left ear, thought it wise to express its driver's discontent by using its klaxon.
This ensured my left ear was exposed to (at the very least) well over 100 dB for about one second.
I noticed a faint noise in my left ear, barely noticeable at first and thought nothing of it. Everything was fine, until the next Monday came, then hell happened.
The faint, barely noticeable noise had tranformed into a raging, hiss accompanied with a very loud high pitched noise that sounded very much like a dentist drill grinding on a tooth (which I later identified both to be in the 14 kHz range and which covered everything in that spectrum up to 50 dB).
This is when I started panicking and took an appointment to the ENT, unfortunately, the earliest I could get was on June 1st, until which I had to suffer in silence, since that day, I have not gone outside anywhere without ear protection (earplugs or earmuffs) and I have not listened to any headphones/IEMs whatsoever, I probably won't for the rest of my days.
June 1st came and the noise was still there, as loud as before, and had been for days, the impact was so debilitating I could not even read more than a few sentences at a time.
The ENT prescribed prednisolone, 60mg (I weight 57kg) for 7 days and a bunch of products and medication to clean my Eustachian tube, with little to no effect. I took the course of prednisolone, which helped tone the tinnitus down a bit, if only slightly.
I couldn't find rest, had trouble sleeping and took Bromazepam in small doses (and later switched to higher doses of Prazepam) just to take the edge off, with little to no success, despite knowing full well how adverse the side effects of such medications are.
I went as far as to go through a MRI on June 11th, followed by yet another ENT appointment, only to have it not find anything conclusive, I also visited 2 other ENTs which were about as clueless about tinnitus as the first one I'd seen; it appears to be a trend in the profession, other than perform an audiogram which showed perfect hearing up to 8kHz (but of course nothing at higher frequencies) and give me such prognosis as: "it may pass" or "if you still have it in 2 months, come see me", there was no advise or relief they could or would bring.
I became desperate, started looking online to find anything that could bring me relief, unfortunately most of what I'd find were horror stories, of people who were stuck with tinnitus for the rest of their lives. The anxiety, gloom and depression went up to drastic levels, until I started to envision taking my own life, I had thoughts such as "this is no life", "I can't go on like this", "anything to make it stop!", I wasn't far from taking that irreversible step, until I forced to calm myself down and though "this isn't me", I then started to cry, for hours until I got calm again and thought of my family how I would get through this and not let my condition overtake me.
By the way, it turns out, in France, the supposed 24/7 available suicide hotlines, well, they don't appear to take your calls on Sunday, I tried calling a few of them before I started going through what would be a suicide attempt.
I am not sure if tinnitus alone brought me to such depression and despair, or if the meds also had something to do with it, but since that day, I stopped taking all anxiolytics. What I do know is that I have never had a depression event in my life, or suicide thoughts of any kind, until I had tinnitus.
Eventually by day 20, I started adopting another mindset, I knew the tinnitus was likely going to stay with me for the rest of my days and the earlier I stopped being in denial and accepted this, the faster my habituation would be, which at that point was my (and still is) my only hope.
I also managed to get more prednisolone prescribed from my GP, which I resumed from day 14th of the trauma (at 40mg per day) as I've read online that it is (slightly) effective up to 30 days after a trauma, this is despite the fact that corticosteroids weaken the immune system and cause more anxiety/panic attacks, but I was willing to take the tradeoff if that had the slight chance of permanently lowering my tinnitus, if only by a little.
During all this time, I could not take a single sick day, so I kept on going to work, despite the noise and the depression, my work pace took its toll from my inability to properly focus.
3 days ago the tinnitus noise finally lowered to acceptable levels (from barely noticeable at times to cicadas in the ear), it doesn't ever fade though, I can still ear it over background noise most times if I focus on it. It goes randomly from a slight hiss to very noticeable cicadas, but I can finally read, think and get enough sleep (though I later found that Magnesium citrate helps getting asleep, unfortunately it would not prevent the occasional waking up during the night, or the very loud tinnitus in the morning, something that drastically improved my quality of life. Of course it is too early to tell if this is just a temporary relief from the prednisolone, some kind of early habituation or if my tinnitus is actually improving, I don't hope I won't have to use prednisolone to remain a functional human being for the rest of my life, or this will get old, really fast. Time will tell as I plan on stopping the treatment by day 30 (so June 23rd).
I took the opportunity yesterday, (probably one of my best tinnitus day, better than today at least), to test my hearing at higher frequencies, it turns out I can hear from both ears everything at low db up to almost 16 kHz, so at least I am not suffering any noticeable hearing loss (even though I am quite certain either my cochlear or nerve sustained some form of irreversible damage that is the cause of my tinnitus).
I also found the tinnitus to be reactive, the more noise there is around, the louder and more noticeable it gets, finally since yesterday I have slight pain that randomly appears to follow the auditory nerve starting at the temple, I am not sure how this will go. I also found out that I have mild hyperacusis in the left ear since my tinnitus started as well, I hope it will subside as well.
I no longer have suicidal thoughts, not since I can read and focus again and the noise became manageable. I have an optimistic mindset and will attempt to live a normal life and further habituate and not let my tinnitus dictate my way of life. Unfortunately, I am also a realistic person and I know while my tinnitus may still improve, I will still most likely keep a mild version of it and have to protect my hearing for the rest of my life, I also don't believe drugs such as FX-322 or other inner ear/cochlear hair/stereocilia regeneration treatment, the only true cure for noise induced tinnitus, are less than 10 years away from commercial availability, I therefore know habituation and going on with life is the only expectancy one can get, it is less than ideal, but I deal with the cards I have been given. If later on, a true treatment becomes available and we no longer stand in the dark ages of tinnitus management, I will undertake it, habituation or not, assuming my tinnitus isn't gone (I don't have much hope there, but only time will tell).
My tinnitus went from atrociously severe (something I would rate as a 7/10 or 8/10 depending on my stress levels) to mild (something I would objectively rate as a 2/10, sometimes 1/10 in my good days), so there is room for improvement, I just hope it won't relapse and knowing the hell I lived, will do everything in my power to make sure it does not get worse, I now know it is better being obsessed by safeguarding my ears, than being obsessed by the incessant noise.
Sadly there is no one side fits all solution or cause to this. This is a very debilitating condition and most people have no idea how much of a handicap even a mild tinnitus (let a alone a severe case) can get, we are talking very sudden drops in serotonin levels which leads to depression, sleep deprivation, suicidal thoughts, inability to focus (other than on the noise itself) on everyday tasks... That is until habituation, which in severe case of chronic tinnitus can take years (2 years on average), that is years of pure hell (I am not exaggerating this one bit).
It might seem like rehashing information to most of you, but:
In conclusion, PROTECT YOUR EARS!! All it takes is ONE, single acute noise trauma over 85db (that's not much, it's about slightly higher than a daily commute level in some major cities) to lead to a life of hell.
IF you are exposed to an acute noise trauma (especially over 100 dB), even if you don't feel pain or sudden hearing loss, GO TO THE ER and DEMAND Prednisolone, it has to be taken within the first 24 hours of exposure, don't wait! This is unfortunately something I understood after the fact.
You only have 2 ears, keep them safe, no matter what. Avoid listening to music on commutes if you can, if you really have to, privilege good quality noise canceling headphones over earbuds, avoid night clubs and the such like the plague, people have experienced hearing loss in those WHILE wearing noise protection!
Hopefully my condition is not permanent. If it is, I am already resigned to go through the lengthy habituation process. I would not wish the tinnitus curse upon my worst enemy.
Remember, you only have 2 ears and most forms of tinnitus (especially the noise induced ones) and hearing loss have no cure. Either your body heals from the trauma (if it isn't too severe), or you are stuck with the noise for life and will have to habituate to it. This may sound alarming, yet it is a realistic onset and awareness of the condition, especially in this day and age where we live surrounded by loud noises, must be raised.
Is my life over? I used to think so, not anymore, I will get through this, no matter how bad it gets, there is always hope, it will get better, even if the noise itself does not, there are people in much worse condition than I who are enjoying life to this day, and I intent to do the same.
This is somewhat as much as a testimony as well as an introduction, I hope I was not too abrupt about it, and I wish you all the best. I will be sticking to these forums, reading on research and success stories as well as any treatment venues there might be.
I have seldom found the motivation to post or write anything for the last 23 days, this is how debilitating my experience with tinnitus has been.
I always believed listening to music using better than average (let's face it, very expensive) headphones and IEMs at low volume would keep my hearing protected from severe damage, I couldn't have been more wrong. While headphones themselves did not cause my tinnitus, they certainly contributed to weaken my ears against possible acute noise exposure.
On May 24th, my life (as I know it, at least so far), changed. I was walking along the noisy streets of Paris, not paying much attention to what was around me, when a heavy truck, blocked by traffic, standing at roughly 50cm from my left ear, thought it wise to express its driver's discontent by using its klaxon.
This ensured my left ear was exposed to (at the very least) well over 100 dB for about one second.
I noticed a faint noise in my left ear, barely noticeable at first and thought nothing of it. Everything was fine, until the next Monday came, then hell happened.
The faint, barely noticeable noise had tranformed into a raging, hiss accompanied with a very loud high pitched noise that sounded very much like a dentist drill grinding on a tooth (which I later identified both to be in the 14 kHz range and which covered everything in that spectrum up to 50 dB).
This is when I started panicking and took an appointment to the ENT, unfortunately, the earliest I could get was on June 1st, until which I had to suffer in silence, since that day, I have not gone outside anywhere without ear protection (earplugs or earmuffs) and I have not listened to any headphones/IEMs whatsoever, I probably won't for the rest of my days.
June 1st came and the noise was still there, as loud as before, and had been for days, the impact was so debilitating I could not even read more than a few sentences at a time.
The ENT prescribed prednisolone, 60mg (I weight 57kg) for 7 days and a bunch of products and medication to clean my Eustachian tube, with little to no effect. I took the course of prednisolone, which helped tone the tinnitus down a bit, if only slightly.
I couldn't find rest, had trouble sleeping and took Bromazepam in small doses (and later switched to higher doses of Prazepam) just to take the edge off, with little to no success, despite knowing full well how adverse the side effects of such medications are.
I went as far as to go through a MRI on June 11th, followed by yet another ENT appointment, only to have it not find anything conclusive, I also visited 2 other ENTs which were about as clueless about tinnitus as the first one I'd seen; it appears to be a trend in the profession, other than perform an audiogram which showed perfect hearing up to 8kHz (but of course nothing at higher frequencies) and give me such prognosis as: "it may pass" or "if you still have it in 2 months, come see me", there was no advise or relief they could or would bring.
I became desperate, started looking online to find anything that could bring me relief, unfortunately most of what I'd find were horror stories, of people who were stuck with tinnitus for the rest of their lives. The anxiety, gloom and depression went up to drastic levels, until I started to envision taking my own life, I had thoughts such as "this is no life", "I can't go on like this", "anything to make it stop!", I wasn't far from taking that irreversible step, until I forced to calm myself down and though "this isn't me", I then started to cry, for hours until I got calm again and thought of my family how I would get through this and not let my condition overtake me.
By the way, it turns out, in France, the supposed 24/7 available suicide hotlines, well, they don't appear to take your calls on Sunday, I tried calling a few of them before I started going through what would be a suicide attempt.
I am not sure if tinnitus alone brought me to such depression and despair, or if the meds also had something to do with it, but since that day, I stopped taking all anxiolytics. What I do know is that I have never had a depression event in my life, or suicide thoughts of any kind, until I had tinnitus.
Eventually by day 20, I started adopting another mindset, I knew the tinnitus was likely going to stay with me for the rest of my days and the earlier I stopped being in denial and accepted this, the faster my habituation would be, which at that point was my (and still is) my only hope.
I also managed to get more prednisolone prescribed from my GP, which I resumed from day 14th of the trauma (at 40mg per day) as I've read online that it is (slightly) effective up to 30 days after a trauma, this is despite the fact that corticosteroids weaken the immune system and cause more anxiety/panic attacks, but I was willing to take the tradeoff if that had the slight chance of permanently lowering my tinnitus, if only by a little.
During all this time, I could not take a single sick day, so I kept on going to work, despite the noise and the depression, my work pace took its toll from my inability to properly focus.
3 days ago the tinnitus noise finally lowered to acceptable levels (from barely noticeable at times to cicadas in the ear), it doesn't ever fade though, I can still ear it over background noise most times if I focus on it. It goes randomly from a slight hiss to very noticeable cicadas, but I can finally read, think and get enough sleep (though I later found that Magnesium citrate helps getting asleep, unfortunately it would not prevent the occasional waking up during the night, or the very loud tinnitus in the morning, something that drastically improved my quality of life. Of course it is too early to tell if this is just a temporary relief from the prednisolone, some kind of early habituation or if my tinnitus is actually improving, I don't hope I won't have to use prednisolone to remain a functional human being for the rest of my life, or this will get old, really fast. Time will tell as I plan on stopping the treatment by day 30 (so June 23rd).
I took the opportunity yesterday, (probably one of my best tinnitus day, better than today at least), to test my hearing at higher frequencies, it turns out I can hear from both ears everything at low db up to almost 16 kHz, so at least I am not suffering any noticeable hearing loss (even though I am quite certain either my cochlear or nerve sustained some form of irreversible damage that is the cause of my tinnitus).
I also found the tinnitus to be reactive, the more noise there is around, the louder and more noticeable it gets, finally since yesterday I have slight pain that randomly appears to follow the auditory nerve starting at the temple, I am not sure how this will go. I also found out that I have mild hyperacusis in the left ear since my tinnitus started as well, I hope it will subside as well.
I no longer have suicidal thoughts, not since I can read and focus again and the noise became manageable. I have an optimistic mindset and will attempt to live a normal life and further habituate and not let my tinnitus dictate my way of life. Unfortunately, I am also a realistic person and I know while my tinnitus may still improve, I will still most likely keep a mild version of it and have to protect my hearing for the rest of my life, I also don't believe drugs such as FX-322 or other inner ear/cochlear hair/stereocilia regeneration treatment, the only true cure for noise induced tinnitus, are less than 10 years away from commercial availability, I therefore know habituation and going on with life is the only expectancy one can get, it is less than ideal, but I deal with the cards I have been given. If later on, a true treatment becomes available and we no longer stand in the dark ages of tinnitus management, I will undertake it, habituation or not, assuming my tinnitus isn't gone (I don't have much hope there, but only time will tell).
My tinnitus went from atrociously severe (something I would rate as a 7/10 or 8/10 depending on my stress levels) to mild (something I would objectively rate as a 2/10, sometimes 1/10 in my good days), so there is room for improvement, I just hope it won't relapse and knowing the hell I lived, will do everything in my power to make sure it does not get worse, I now know it is better being obsessed by safeguarding my ears, than being obsessed by the incessant noise.
Sadly there is no one side fits all solution or cause to this. This is a very debilitating condition and most people have no idea how much of a handicap even a mild tinnitus (let a alone a severe case) can get, we are talking very sudden drops in serotonin levels which leads to depression, sleep deprivation, suicidal thoughts, inability to focus (other than on the noise itself) on everyday tasks... That is until habituation, which in severe case of chronic tinnitus can take years (2 years on average), that is years of pure hell (I am not exaggerating this one bit).
It might seem like rehashing information to most of you, but:
In conclusion, PROTECT YOUR EARS!! All it takes is ONE, single acute noise trauma over 85db (that's not much, it's about slightly higher than a daily commute level in some major cities) to lead to a life of hell.
IF you are exposed to an acute noise trauma (especially over 100 dB), even if you don't feel pain or sudden hearing loss, GO TO THE ER and DEMAND Prednisolone, it has to be taken within the first 24 hours of exposure, don't wait! This is unfortunately something I understood after the fact.
You only have 2 ears, keep them safe, no matter what. Avoid listening to music on commutes if you can, if you really have to, privilege good quality noise canceling headphones over earbuds, avoid night clubs and the such like the plague, people have experienced hearing loss in those WHILE wearing noise protection!
Hopefully my condition is not permanent. If it is, I am already resigned to go through the lengthy habituation process. I would not wish the tinnitus curse upon my worst enemy.
Remember, you only have 2 ears and most forms of tinnitus (especially the noise induced ones) and hearing loss have no cure. Either your body heals from the trauma (if it isn't too severe), or you are stuck with the noise for life and will have to habituate to it. This may sound alarming, yet it is a realistic onset and awareness of the condition, especially in this day and age where we live surrounded by loud noises, must be raised.
Is my life over? I used to think so, not anymore, I will get through this, no matter how bad it gets, there is always hope, it will get better, even if the noise itself does not, there are people in much worse condition than I who are enjoying life to this day, and I intent to do the same.
This is somewhat as much as a testimony as well as an introduction, I hope I was not too abrupt about it, and I wish you all the best. I will be sticking to these forums, reading on research and success stories as well as any treatment venues there might be.