Can't Take It Anymore

[Frank .O]

I'm at my breaking point. My T is loud and unmaskable. A kettle sound 24/7. I'm only 44yrs old and wonder how I'm gonna get through today let alone the rest of my life.

This is more than any human should have to bear. Constant Insomnia, anxiety, despair, depression..... I think terminal cancer would be an easy trade off at this point. The pitch/ loudness of my T is off the charts.

I'm scared, and I'm tired. I'm hopeless and the only joy in life left is my family. My wife understands my agony, my daughter does to a degree. I feel bad I can't give them the life we had before this wretched affliction took over.

If I could just sleep. I could beat this. I go 1 - 2 days of no sleep and then from exhaustion I sleep maybe 4 - 6 hrs. I can't go on like this for the rest of my life...

 

[RonnieCarzatto]

Hey Frank, have you seen an ENT/physician yet? Maybe they can prescribe you something to help you sleep. I know yoy said docs are reluctant but they should be helping with the insomnia at the very least.

Hang in there buddy, one day at a time, I'm right there with you. Sleep will come.

 

[volsung37]

Early tinnitus is the pits. However your brain will adapt over time. You are in flight or fight mode now. That is why sleep is so difficult. At this time sleeping meds are a great help. After a while your brain will cease to view T as life threatening and the nervous system will calm down allowing natural sleep patterns to resume.
I am at the stage now where I can sleep naturally. For the first 8 months I didn't think this would ever be possible again. I still have the odd bad night - maybe once a week. Good luck.

 

[BLane]

You can do this Frank! It gets easier to deal with in time. Eventually your brain will be aware of it less and less. You CAN get back to a pretty normal life. I started to habituate once I stopped fighting T. As for sleep, Melatonin and a sleep/sound machine helped me in the early stages. I guess I am conditioned because now I just turn on the sleep/sound machine and it puts me out like a baby.

 

[A_R]

I'm also in the very early days of tinnitus, and I'm very scared. I just wanted to say I understand your agony, and I'm so sorry.

I read your introductory post, and you mentioned that you feel you can't get the prescriptions you need from your current doctor. Find another one. There are doctors somewhere in Cleveland who will take you seriously and give you the care you need and deserve. There is nothing more important than finding a good doctor right now because there is nothing more important than you getting meds to help you sleep. That will buy you time and give your strength to let your brain habituate. Don't let uncaring doctors stand in the way of getting your life back. Do whatever it takes to get the prescriptions you need.

Really pulling for you.

 

[Jomo]

Yeah the beginning is a nightmare...it gets mych better as time goes on but for now you need to learn to adapt to it. If you have a smart phone you can download an app called white noise. I use this app and it stays on continuously all night. I created a sound loop which is the sound of my sink and it blocks the T out enough so that i sleep with no issues. Take time experimenting with diff sounds and see what sounds block out your T the best. My T is at 8000 khz which is a high pitch. I hope this helps.

 

[astronomer]

yeah it is tough , I am in a much better place now, your brain will adapt to it and you live life, trust me, its amazing what you can adapt to ,hey, I was not the most positive guy and there were some rough times but I have learned to love this life I have been given, be good to yourself, care about your family, hope this helps....kevin

 

[Ed209]

@Frank .O, everybody has already given great advice. The early days truly are horrendous, but it really does get better. Hang in there, better times are coming.

 

[Candy]

It will get better, been there...you will eventually sleep as you'll be less anxious, though hard to believe now...one day at a time. Things do improve. I have young kids and am 42, had the same thoughts as you. Keep on reminding myself that millions have lived and do live with this and that we are also closer to treatment...we are moving in the right direction.

 

[fishbone]

I'm at my breaking point. My T is loud and unmaskable. A kettle sound 24/7. I'm only 44yrs old and wonder how I'm gonna get through today let alone the rest of my life.

This is more than any human should have to bear. Constant Insomnia, anxiety, despair, depression..... I think terminal cancer would be an easy trade off at this point. The pitch/ loudness of my T is off the charts.

I'm scared, and I'm tired. I'm hopeless and the only joy in life left is my family. My wife understands my agony, my daughter does to a degree. I feel bad I can't give them the life we had before this wretched affliction took over.

If I could just sleep. I could beat this. I go 1 - 2 days of no sleep and then from exhaustion I sleep maybe 4 - 6 hrs. I can't go on like this for the rest of my life...

Hi there,

let me chime in if i may..... I totally get where you are coming from. My tinnitus is VERY loud, NOT maskable and in both ears 247. I am working with 3 tones at the same time , all the time. Tinnitus is a new thing to you and it is freaking you out big time.

I get that, it happens to all of us. No one is immune to emotions and frustrations from this BS. The good news is that, life still does exist. You have a wife and a kid and that should be the biggest inspiration to beat this and be a warrior and move forward and don't live in agony.

Having a sound in your head 247 is no cup of tea or joy, but life is still worth living.

You say, that you cannot sleep? Do you exercise? this is crucial to beating this sleep issue and learning to live with tinnitus. The more you distract, your mind and not listen to that noise, that is when you start living.

You NEED to exercise, plain and simple. No excuses, go for a daily walk, jog..DO something.

OR buy a treadmill and walk on it for 30 mins to 1 hour a day. TRUST me, by doing this, then you body and mind will not have energy to focus and listen to the tinnitus.

I have level 10 (super loud) tinnitus is both ears. I accept what it is and i don't fight it. THIS is the KEY, accept it man. Don't fight it and make yourself more miserable. The more you fight in, the more it eats you up and ruins your life.

I recently, bought a hearing aid, because my hearing is very poor but FK it, i careless. I don't mind asking someone to repeat what they said.

This hearing aid has a white noise generator built in. That's the beauty of it, it has the white noise machine in it and once in a while i'll wear it to get some relief.

I can tolerate lots of pain (physical and mental), but once in a while its awesome to wear them hearing aid and just have that white noise sooth things for me.

If you ever get a hearing aid, go to a professional that knows , what they are doing.

DON'T give up and DON'T limit yourself. Life is gonna be ok, trust me. YOU can and WILL adapt and move forward...

 

[glynis]

@Frank .o
If it all gets to much go to your emergancy care AnE for help.
Life with tinnitus will inprove and the emotional side of tinnitus .
For now try get help to sleep and keep seeing your doctor till you do....lots of love glynis

 

[billie48]

@Frank .O
Others have given you great advice. You can actually see a common theme in their messages, and that is the current level of suffering won't last, that your brain will not be so anxious of the sound over time. Believe me, people are speaking from their experience as most of us have been there where you are. They have walked their talk. Your reaction, though tough, is actually quite common and normal among new T sufferers. Otherwise they won't be saying almost similar thing to you.

I am no exception. Like you and them, I suffered unimaginable horror and I was in a mess initially. But unlike you, on top of my new ultra high pitch dog whistle T, I also had severe hyperacusis on top of it. T alone was traumatic enough, but H made it almost impossible to survive. Why? Because T & H don't like each other. Hyperacusis turned all normal sounds soooo loud and piercingly hurtful as if every sound drilled through the senses. It can literally cause pain. So I tried to protect against H with earplugs (I bought $200 worth of them from Sonic Shop in Germany), but the earplugs made T so unbearably harsh to hear when there is no other outside sounds to help mask it. So if you try to let more sounds in as silence is deadly for T, then H said I would drill you with every sound you let in. Even the soft voice of my wife was hurtful, not to say those from TV, driving, parties, social conversations,restaurants, etc. Gosh !!! Talking about getting TRAPPED by these two monsters.

Worst, I also had suffered from PTSD and anxiety plus panic disorders prior to T & H. So my already weakened nerves had no chance against T & H. They literally opened the flood gate of hell of relentless anxiety and panic attacks on auto mode every day the moment I woke up with the loud T (if I could sleep at all), and these attacks would come on and off all day. I had no choice but to use drugs to survive, taking Ativan, Prozac and sleeping pills. Either I did that or I could harm myself due to immense suffering. My tired and stressed out mind was suggesting the big 'S' word daily, as it saw no way out of the suffering. My good life was gone, and I was worrying how I could even survive this each day, not to say my entire life. I never thought I could survive and have good life again.

But never say never. Today, I do just that, living a normal, productive, happy and absolutely enjoyable life. I wrote my success story and share some helpful strategies. If you want to check out these strategies, for brevity, here is the link to my success story. While there, you should read as many positive success stories as you can to give you hope. You take good care. Don't despair and don't give up. Good life can be back. Believe it. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[Frank .O]

Thank you all for your encouraging replies. Wanted to say that I'm still having a lot of trouble. I lost my job because of lack of sleep. Tried another doctor and no sleeping pills. So that's two Primary Physicians and two ENT's. They all just don't care. Second ENT said in his whole 42 yrs of practice he's never heard of someone loosing sleep or job over tinnitus. I'm not in "Flight or Flight" mode anymore, just really, really depressed. I'm sleeping somewhat better, I at least sleep every night even if only 2 hrs. I bought some "Sleep Phones" which I'm worried even with volume less than 1/2 way may still over time make my hearing worse.

Any thoughts on whether Sleep Phones would make Hearing worse?? I have an appointment to get a Hearing aid/ white noise masker fitted for April, 17th. Takes 1-2 wks to come in after that. I also signed up for Cleveland Clinics Tinnitus Management Clinic. It starts June, 26th. I'm still very depressed my life isn't what it used to be and probably never will. It's hard to believe because so much has been lost to this affliction. I do believe with time it'll get better, like you all say it will. Thank you all for your support and help. I just want to be able to sleep normally, I have become very bored because I've lost my job. Sitting at home with nothing to do, day in and day out has already been tough. The depression gets bad some days.

I worry because I have Moderate/Severe high frequency hearing loss that someday it'll get louder or worse. I couldn't live with it being worse. Because I'm not as active as I was, my back which is bad from herniated discs, and I have herniated discs/ arthritis in my neck hurt more. All of this is so hard to accept. It has taken everything from me.

 

[Nikopol]

Hi Frank,

I cant say anything that others didnt, but please do check out success stories thread on this forum and read stories from people suffering from very loud tinnitus who went from point of life that you are in to good, productive, anxiety-free life. Mental fortitude of man is something that can blow away all predictions sky high and hence even in your case, it will get better. Eventually we will get to point where medicine will be avaliable, eg AM-101 is currently at Phase 3 testing and results are very, very promising.

 

[Frank .O]

I read this though Nikopol.
This last point is very important: AM-101 is designed as an early intervention in cases of early onset noise-induced hearing loss and tinnitus. It will not be an effective tinnitus therapy for chronic, long standing tinnitus. All the participants of this study had tinnitus for less than three months.

 

[Alue]

Second ENT said in his whole 42 yrs of practice he's never heard of someone loosing sleep or job over tinnitus.

In 42 years he's never heard of someone losing sleep over tinnitus?
That ENT is either lying or he's an idiot that is oblivious to the suffering of his patients.

Hi Frank,

I cant say anything that others didnt, but please do check out success stories thread on this forum and read stories from people suffering from very loud tinnitus who went from point of life that you are in to good, productive, anxiety-free life. Mental fortitude of man is something that can blow away all predictions sky high and hence even in your case, it will get better. Eventually we will get to point where medicine will be avaliable, eg AM-101 is currently at Phase 3 testing and results are very, very promising.

I was in the AM-101 trials as were a number of members here. I hate to say it, but the results of phase III were not very promising. They failed to show efficacy.

 

[Joanne Philps]

I'd like to meet your 42 year old dr that said that, I'm 6 1/2 months with tinnitus and dreadfull balance problems and have not had one single nights natural sleep and like you I'm at the end of my tether, why oh why don't they believe us , I had better things to do with my life than this I would like to assure him! What an absolute idiot he must be!

 

[Frank .O]

Hey Joanne, the ENT was in his late 60's and has been in practice for 42yrs. He was as cold as ice.

 

[Frank .O]

Has any of you used "Sleep Phones"?? Does anyone know if using them at 40% volume can damage your hearing if listening to nature sounds. Like rain or crickets?? It's the only thing that helps fall asleep. It doesn't seem to loud to me at 40%, just worried.

 

[glynis]

The BTA have them in there shop so they must be ok.
I had some but found my pillow speaker best.

Love glynis

 

[Frank .O]

Thanks Glynis.

 

[Joanne Philps]

Sounds ( no pun intended) like he should be in another profession, none of us want to be in this situation, how very uncaring he sounds!