Don't Ever Lose Hope!

[fishbone]

Hi TT,

It's Fish and I want to write a post and as usual share a part of my life that, can be helpful to those that have lost hope in life at times. I have had a bad couple of months and it led to depression (really bad) and that depression manifested itself into anxiety and it was a horrible feeling almost daily. I have had a stressful life, losing both parents, dealing with fibromyalgia/arthritis. Dealing with the madness that this intrusive tinnitus has brought into my life.

My eating habits have been very poor for the past 6 months, and I am usually a very fit person. Everything tied together landed me in the hospital for almost 1 week. My blood pressure was very high and very scary. I was given to either take BP meds or to not survive. It was one of the most HELLish times in my life. Everything was scary and even I at times was scared and lost hope.

I got out of the hospital and was forced to take a pill so i can live a longer life. I was taking the pill for 5 days and was not able to move off my couch. I was losing who i was as a person. Everything was changing, I was losing hope very fast. My tinnitus was ringing louder than ever. I saw no future, I saw nothing.

I really wanted to change my life and my situation (I have been kicked down many times in my life and I have always changed it). The pills were changing me as a person and I saw no future at all. I had lots of plans in my life but my affliction had a plan of it's own.

I went to my Dr and she was telling me that I am stuck in this situation for the rest of my life. I was like, no....I cannot live like this, I have plans and things I need to accomplish in my life. I still have lots to live for. She was like, well....I'm sorry but that's how things are going to be.

So I took another pill and I saw my life going further into a downward spiral. I knew that I had to change my life and take immediate action. I totally revamped my diet, I threw all the junk foods in my freezer out. I started to eat healthy from breakfast to dinner. I stopped eating any vitamin/food that were bad for my body and mind.

I have started to take more control of my stress and not allow unnecessary stress come into my life, this is crucial for those that suffer with tinnitus.

I took action and started to exercise more, and just start being healthier. Folks I did something else that I have not been able to do in almost 2+ years. Last night for the first time in almost 2+ years, I did not take a sleeping pill.

I share this post, not because I want to toot my horn. I share this because I want you to find hope. Even when you feel that life is going downward/backward. Even when you feel that the future is scary. DON'T EVER LOSE HOPE!

Always believe, yes.....believe. Everything is possible in the 1 life we have to live. I was admitted into the hospital for a VERY high blood pressure. 15 minutes ago I had a reading of 121/75 and a pulse of 65. I am off the BP med and will never take it again...

Folks this was never achievable for me, those numbers were never achievable for me . Everyone doubted me and said that I need to be on BP pills and my life would depend on it. I always believed in myself and wanted to live a better life and TOOK ACTION!

Beating the blood pressure issue and stopping my sleeping pill after almost 2+ years for me is kinda like a miracle but IF WE ARE DRIVEN, nothing can stop our desires.

My life has forever been changed since i came out that hospital. Folks life is hard, but we can slowly change it and make it better.

I hope my post inspired one person

 

[Michael Leigh]

Great post @fishbone good to know that you are feeling better.
All the best
Michael

 

[threefirefour]

Thanks you too fishbone.

 

[Nanny chocolate]

Hello Fishbone
I'm back on here as my T is bad again. Oh, we missed you. I'm so sorry you've had a rotten time.
I know that severe depression and anxiety are not easy to manage. Been there and not out of it yet. So wish you were in the UK, there would be a coach load of your fans!!
coming to visit you. Probably you're quite relieved that won't happen.
So wishing you to feel much better.
Eve

 

[fishbone]

My stand against tinnitus, is OUR stand against. Me overcoming obstacles, is US overcoming obstacles. people in life can get down and lose hope. We need to hear, read stories from others and it can be up lifting. I have been put through a lot in my life and I use it as a lesson to teach/heal myself and as a lesson for those that suffer and hopefully it gives them a glimpse of hope

PS- I have a birthday party in 30 minutes and these people love to sing karaoke. I got my ear plugs ready and I am ready to be very firm and tell them that I hate loud sounds. It might break some hearts, but my ears will love me

 

[Ed209]

Hi TT,

It's Fish and I want to write a post and as usual share a part of my life that, can be helpful to those that have lost hope in life at times. I have had a bad couple of months and it led to depression (really bad) and that depression manifested itself into anxiety and it was a horrible feeling almost daily. I have had a stressful life, losing both parents, dealing with fibromyalgia/arthritis. Dealing with the madness that this intrusive tinnitus has brought into my life.

My eating habits have been very poor for the past 6 months, and I am usually a very fit person. Everything tied together landed me in the hospital for almost 1 week. My blood pressure was very high and very scary. I was given to either take BP meds or to not survive. It was one of the most HELLish times in my life. Everything was scary and even I at times was scared and lost hope.

I got out of the hospital and was forced to take a pill so i can live a longer life. I was taking the pill for 5 days and was not able to move off my couch. I was losing who i was as a person. Everything was changing, I was losing hope very fast. My tinnitus was ringing louder than ever. I saw no future, I saw nothing.

I really wanted to change my life and my situation (I have been kicked down many times in my life and I have always changed it). The pills were changing me as a person and I saw no future at all. I had lots of plans in my life but my affliction had a plan of it's own.

I went to my Dr and she was telling me that I am stuck in this situation for the rest of my life. I was like, no....I cannot live like this, I have plans and things I need to accomplish in my life. I still have lots to live for. She was like, well....I'm sorry but that's how things are going to be.

So I took another pill and I saw my life going further into a downward spiral. I knew that I had to change my life and take immediate action. I totally revamped my diet, I threw all the junk foods in my freezer out. I started to eat healthy from breakfast to dinner. I stopped eating any vitamin/food that were bad for my body and mind.

I have started to take more control of my stress and not allow unnecessary stress come into my life, this is crucial for those that suffer with tinnitus.

I took action and started to exercise more, and just start being healthier. Folks I did something else that I have not been able to do in almost 2+ years. Last night for the first time in almost 2+ years, I did not take a sleeping pill.

I share this post, not because I want to toot my horn. I share this because I want you to find hope. Even when you feel that life is going downward/backward. Even when you feel that the future is scary. DON'T EVER LOSE HOPE!

Always believe, yes.....believe. Everything is possible in the 1 life we have to live. I was admitted into the hospital for a VERY high blood pressure. 15 minutes ago I had a reading of 121/75 and a pulse of 65. I am off the BP med and will never take it again...

Folks this was never achievable for me, those numbers were never achievable for me . Everyone doubted me and said that I need to be on BP pills and my life would depend on it. I always believed in myself and wanted to live a better life and TOOK ACTION!

Beating the blood pressure issue and stopping my sleeping pill after almost 2+ years for me is kinda like a miracle but IF WE ARE DRIVEN, nothing can stop our desires.

My life has forever been changed since i came out that hospital. Folks life is hard, but we can slowly change it and make it better.

I hope my post inspired one person

You're an inspiration fishbone. Life can take us to places of absolute despair some times, but the good times just feel so much better when you have felt true pain. Keep banging out the positivity bud. Positivity breeds positivity.

 

[grate_biff]

I am off the BP med and will never take it again...

What kind of BP were you on, and what did they do to you?

 

[Samir]

Very strong, powerful message there Fishbone! I cannot begin to tell you how shocked and amazed I am by what you wrote here. I am shocked that you had to go through this, by what that doctor told you, and how you had to walk this path alone. I am amazed by your fighting spirit and how you won over the naysayers! I keep reading "action, action, action". That's the key I think, it has to start from within, from a strong desire. Mind over body! Sound mind in a sound body! It's all about balance. When the body gets weak, mind needs to get stronger to overcome the hardship and turn things around. You Sir are a true fighter! Glad to have you here!

 

[Starthrower]

My eating habits have been very poor for the past 6 months, and I am usually a very fit person. Everything tied together landed me in the hospital for almost 1 week.

Oh @fishbone so sorry to read you were in the hospital for a week. I am glad you are doing so well now. Thanks for everything you share about your life and experiences. I know it helps many people.

 

[fishbone]

Thanks for your love & support. You better believe that, I always try to return it on this site

 

[fishbone]

Very strong, powerful message there Fishbone! I cannot begin to tell you how shocked and amazed I am by what you wrote here. I am shocked that you had to go through this, by what that doctor told you, and how you had to walk this path alone. I am amazed by your fighting spirit and how you won over the naysayers! I keep reading "action, action, action". That's the key I think, it has to start from within, from a strong desire. Mind over body! Sound mind in a sound body! It's all about balance. When the body gets weak, mind needs to get stronger to overcome the hardship and turn things around. You Sir are a true fighter! Glad to have you here!

Ty for your post. I have not, had an easy life by no means. I have been deep in the trenches, many times and I only had my inner strength and drive/desire to get out of my trenches. I believe in fighting for what I want in my life and that will never stop. I want to motivate those that suffer on this forum ....to keep fighting and never giving up on their dreams as well

All of us suffer and can have pain, but we can still fight and move forward....

 

[Robert18]

yes fishbone,
yes we will fight until our last breath it's just a tinnitus so lets moving on and let's all ask the lord jesus to guide us
and give us strength.

let's always think positive,
Robert

 

[Daniel95]

@fishbone
Beyond inspiring. Maybe scientists should study you. If they found a way to put your positivity into a pill I'd be an addict.

Seriously though, I'm glad you managed to prove the doctors wrong and get your life back on track. TT is lucky to have you here.

 

[Holly1987]

Hey @fishbone

Thanks for such an inspirational message. You mention fibromyalgia, I'm sorry to hear you have that. I have lupus, I believe they are very similar.

Does the fibromyalgia make you very fatigued?

 

[billie48]

@fishbone
You are the ultimate warrior with a strong will to beat the odds to overcome seemingly impossible hurdles in life. Your story reminds me of those years dealing with anxiety and panic disorder as a young man. I remember those years of youth caged in the imagined prison of panic attacks and extreme anxiety, when I was home bound for a long time as panic attacks tried to keep me locked up in my safest place - my home. People who knew me as a dare devils and free-spirited guy before were totally speechless at what had happened to that valiant young lad.

The hurdles were seemingly insurmountable and the mental prison tightly locked. But the heck with such bondage of anxiety and panic disorder. I told myself I would be like a young eagle ready to spread my wings against the wind. Even those wings were heavily clipped, I spread them regardless and plunged from the lofty cliff of life to soar with the wind. I went aboard to study university far from home and loved ones. Heaven or hell, I would realize my dream of academic excellence. Anxiety, depression, sleeplessness and whatever. The heck with them. I would challenge them and break the bondage to achieve my life's goals, heaven or hell. Four years later, I graduated from an American university with summa cum laude. And I married my wonderful wife there.

Yet all these never prepared me enough to face the horrendous sufferings of PTSD after witnessing the tragic accident of my young son. The grief was so immense and the emotional pain so deep that once again drugs had to be used just to survive each day. After a full year of counselling by a psychiatrist, I survived the ordeal but the remnant of PTSD lingers on and off.

Then years later, my ultra high pitch dog whistle T plus severe H hit me suddenly to once again turn me into a mess. With the prior condition of anxiety and panic disorder, and then with PTSD due to the tragic loss of my son, my weakened nerves just had no chance against T & H. They just opened the flood gate of hell of relentless anxiety and panic attacks, and I had to survive each day on drugs again. But at some point when I gathered enough strength, the battle for life is on again. Oh well, the rest you all probably know from reading my success story. I am now living a normal, productive and absolutely enjoyable life. The heck with T.

We are comrades of sort in overcoming hurdles in life, fishbone. I agree with you. Don't ever lose hope. Keep up the positivity, brother. You are an inspiration to all of us. God bless.

 

[fishbone]

@fishbone
You are the ultimate warrior with a strong will to beat the odds to overcome seemingly impossible hurdles in life. Your story reminds me of those years dealing with anxiety and panic disorder as a young man. I remember those years of youth caged in the imagined prison of panic attacks and extreme anxiety, when I was home bound for a long time as panic attacks tried to keep me locked up in my safest place - my home. People who knew me as a dare devils and free-spirited guy before were totally speechless at what had happened to that valiant young lad.

The hurdles were seemingly insurmountable and the mental prison tightly locked. But the heck with such bondage of anxiety and panic disorder. I told myself I would be like a young eagle ready to spread my wings against the wind. Even those wings were heavily clipped, I spread them regardless and plunged from the lofty cliff of life to soar with the wind. I went aboard to study university far from home and loved ones. Heaven or hell, I would realize my dream of academic excellence. Anxiety, depression, sleeplessness and whatever. The heck with them. I would challenge them and break the bondage to achieve my life's goals, heaven or hell. Four years later, I graduated from an American university with summa cum laude. And I married my wonderful wife there.

Yet all these never prepared me enough to face the horrendous sufferings of PTSD after witnessing the tragic accident of my young son. The grief was so immense and the emotional pain so deep that once again drugs had to be used just to survive each day. After a full year of counselling by a psychiatrist, I survived the ordeal but the remnant of PTSD lingers on and off.

Then years later, my ultra high pitch dog whistle T plus severe H hit me suddenly to once again turn me into a mess. With the prior condition of anxiety and panic disorder, and then with PTSD due to the tragic loss of my son, my weakened nerves just had no chance against T & H. They just opened the flood gate of hell of relentless anxiety and panic attacks, and I had to survive each day on drugs again. But at some point when I gathered enough strength, the battle for life is on again. Oh well, the rest you all probably know from reading my success story. I am now living a normal, productive and absolutely enjoyable life. The heck with T.

We are comrades of sort in overcoming hurdles in life, fishbone. I agree with you. Don't ever lose hope. Keep up the positivity, brother. You are an inspiration to all of us. God bless.

My dear friend,

I know EXACTLY what you mean, when it comes to the depression and anxiety. My life has been an never ending rollercoaster ride from day 1. I still pinch myself to see if all of this has been a dream or did it actually exist. My past 5 months, the depression was extremely heavy and it manifested itself into scary anxiety. I was also taking lots of supplements and it had also backfired into daily anxiety. The BP med itself had also manifested into daily anxiety.

I'd wake up from restful sleep, had great dreams and my body and mind would be afflicted with jitters, fear for no reason at all. I'd have to work on my breathing to calm that inner beast down. That BP med , my 2+ years addiction to melatonin was just not doing me any good. I took my last melatonin pill 2 nights ago and the anxiety it put into my body and mind was just unforgiving. I have stopped all the vitamins, BP pills and have a new outlook on life. My anxiety, depression is 85% lifted.

Life can do so so much to us, be resilient is the only way I know how to live my life......

Being in that hospital and forced to take BP meds and seeing tons of brainwashed professionals... saying that i had no chance at life without meds, we quite scary. I was literally surrounded by 10 people saying, that my life will never be the same, pills are my new life. I was the only one saying, NO. I know i can change my situation, forget my doubters. I don't need anyone's support. I CAN do this even, if i have to do it alone.

I have had a pretty brutal life and was always doubted. I took that and I always proved people wrong.

I just knew that I had to make another huge change, in my life and that's what I did. Due to the stopping of all meds/pills/vitamins. My anxiety is a lot better, things are slowly getting back on track. My tinnitus is always intrusive and i'd expect nothing else from it.

I haven't taken my sleeping pill in 2 nights now, this is an amazing accomplishment for me. All my life I have had sleeping issues and at times even with the loud ringing, it would cause me less sleep or no sleep.

I'll share something else with you and this board. I have psoriasis on my scalp and face. At times I can breakout without ever knowing that my skin broke out.

I was at my boxing/mma class yesterday and I had to communicate and train with partners. I did a class for over 1+ hours. People were smiling and training with me, like we always do. When I got into my car, I look at my face and i had fully broken out. My face were filled with psoriasis scabs. It was a mess looking at myself in the mirror. No one told me that i had broken out and i did not feel shame either.

Life can be hard brother, as i say in all my posts.......just believe and keep moving forward

 

[Jazzer]

Fishbone is capable of saving lives folks,

I know........xx

 

[Nanny chocolate]

Hello Fish
I have psoriasis too, had it since my teens a long time ago.
Half an hour ago someone smashed, and I mean smashed, into the back of my nearly new car when the traffic lights changed.
I'm still in shock, I think I might have whiplash too. The car was shunted up the road and I'm scared my T will get even worse. I'm just getting over a nervous breakdown, WHY didn't I just go for a walk.
Warmly Eve

 

[David Dubros]

I just want to say THANK YOU Fishbone from my heart!!!

 

[fishbone]

Hello Fish
I have psoriasis too, had it since my teens a long time ago.
Half an hour ago someone smashed, and I mean smashed, into the back of my nearly new car when the traffic lights changed.
I'm still in shock, I think I might have whiplash too. The car was shunted up the road and I'm scared my T will get even worse. I'm just getting over a nervous breakdown, WHY didn't I just go for a walk.
Warmly Eve

Jeez! I am so sorry. I hope you are ok. Please keep us updated....

 

[Nanny chocolate]

Thank you Fish. Xxx

 

[TracyJS]

Hello Fish
I have psoriasis too, had it since my teens a long time ago.
Half an hour ago someone smashed, and I mean smashed, into the back of my nearly new car when the traffic lights changed.
I'm still in shock, I think I might have whiplash too. The car was shunted up the road and I'm scared my T will get even worse. I'm just getting over a nervous breakdown, WHY didn't I just go for a walk.
Warmly Eve

I'm so sorry that you were involved in an accident. I hope you are ok. Caring thoughts coming your way.

 

[Nanny chocolate]

Hello Tracy
Thank you so much for your caring thoughts. I'm not young, 69 actually, but feel ancient this evening.
Hope you are doing ok xx

 

[glynis]

@fishbone ,
A Fantastic post and thank you for sharing your story with us.
I'm having problems at the moment and was lovely to read this.
Your amazing.
Love glynis

 

[fishbone]

My main reason for posting this here was to give HOPE to anyone that is scared or lost. I have been scared many times in my life, lost many times. I hope my stories can, help you good folks to live with your tinnitus. Live a better life and to NEVER GIVE UP!

Things may look gloomy and dark at times, but we are stronger than our afflictions and can move forward......

Bless all of you

 

[TracyJS]

@Nanny chocolate
Actually is a rough day. I am glad to hear that it sounds like you were not seriously hurt, but being hurt at all is no fun. Rest and take good care of yourself. xx

 

[fishbone]

Update: It's been 4 days now that I haven't taken my sleeping pill. I was addicted to my pill (2 1/2 years) and could never sleep without it. Just keep pushing through your obstacles folks, slowly we can all do this. All of us have the strength, to move forward and live better lives....

Life is a day by day situation, do your best to make today count

 

[Mellow7]

Update: It's been 4 days now that I haven't taken my sleeping pill. I was addicted to my pill (2 1/2 years) and could never sleep without it. Just keep pushing through your obstacles folks, slowly we can all do this. All of us have the strength, to move forward and live better lives....

Life is a day by day situation, do your best to make today count

I must say, having read a few of your post, you're a real powerhouse @fishbone. You're able to lift my spirits, no matter what I'm hearing this day.

 

[fishbone]

It's been a month that, I have not touched my sleeping pills. All my life I have had bad sleep and it's been awful. I struggled with sleep just like many of you. I hope these posts show, that If one member can do such things, then you folks can possibly do the same.

PS-To me this is a miracle. I was stuck on sleeping pills for over 2+ years and I have had many sleepless nights as well.....

Never Give Up!

 

[emmalee]

It's been a month that, I have not touched my sleeping pills. All my life I have had bad sleep and it's been awful. I struggled with sleep just like many of you. I hope these posts show, that If one member can do such things, then you folks can possibly do the same.

PS-To me this is a miracle. I was stuck on sleeping pills for over 2+ years and I have had many sleepless nights as well.....

Never Give Up!

This is wonderful news fishbone. You are an inspiration to many.