Facing a Difficult Time

[fishbone]

Hi TT family,

it's rare but I am asking for your support. I have 3 dogs and 2 of them are on meds. One dog is almost 17 years old and the other 12 1/2. All 3 are Chihuahuas. 2 are boys and 1 is a girl. The girl is 12 1/2 and she has been having issues with seizures lately. Last week she had 6 seizures and was in the hospital and she is now on 4 meds and was released last week. Dr wanted to put her down, but I could not do it.

Today she has been feeling really bad and I took her to the dr and again she suggested that I put her down. I told the dr that i'd do anything for her but i cannot put her down. This female dog has a son and they are super close and they love each other like human's love their moms and sons. I live alone with these dogs and they are my backbone of support right now. They push me to be who I am these days and I come here and support you folks.

I know that this dog has a short time left on this earth and it destroys me to know that she will be gone probably in 1-2 weeks. I am usually very strong minded and a warrior, but losing the only things (these little saints) that support me daily is a crushing blow to me.

I have even arranged a meeting with my counselor next week, so she can guide me in this painful time.

I went to one of my favorite restaurants today and this pretty lady smiled and started talking to me and I was in the gym and this beautiful gal smiled at me as well.

Having tinnitus makes it hard, to date and find a spouse/mate. Because of that I am attached to my pets and I love them like there is no tomorrow. It torments me to see them sick and losing them is just brutal for me...

Any words of wisdom, is appreciated.

Thank you TT Fam....

 

[GregCA]

Hi @fishbone - I'm sorry about your predicament. As someone who treats pets like family members, I can relate: a few years back I was put in the same position for my little bunny who was 12 years old. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life.

I postponed it of course, thinking there was always hope, but I couldn't help wonder about her quality of life, and whether I was just being selfish in prolonging her suffering, because I couldn't bear the inevitable suffering myself. So one day I went in and gave the go ahead. I felt like an anvil was stuck in my throat. It's still painful to think about it. Today, when I look back, without the heightened emotional thinking of the moment, I tend to think that I did the right thing.

Like T, each situation is different. Do what you feel is right by your heart.

Good luck - we're supporting you through this.

 

[Flamingo1]

Hi @fishbone, I'm sorry to hear about your dogs. If your dog is suffering and there is no hope of recovery, I believe the kindest thing you can do as a pet father is to have her put down. My opinion and I know easier said than done. I know you will miss her and of course she is irreplaceable. After you've worked through your loss though, there are a lot of dogs out there in need of a good home who would be very lucky to be with you.

 

[Greg Sacramento]

@fishbone Earlier this week you reached out to me after I mentioned that I lost my female calico cat. I will never forget your caring towards me.

We are both older without children and I don't have any family other than my wife. Pets can cope with many conditions, but since my pet was in pain, I don't think I had a choice as to what to do.

I honestly feel that I could cope with my severe tinnitus and write posts similar to yours if my face and mouth wasn't in severe nerve damage pain from a deep dental implant placement. I didn't want my pet to suffer like me with pain. I don't know if your pet is in pain, that is something only you and your vet can try to determine.

Love you brother.

 

[Nanny chocolate]

Hi Fishbone
I'm sorry you are having to face such a painful decision. My last dog, a border collie, was 14 years old when I had to make that decision. I had to do it for her and although it was some time ago I remember it so vividly. My wonderful girl, still so sadly missed.
You know in your heart how to make the right decision for YOUR wonderful girl.
I'm so sad for you. Sending love your way.
Eve
@fishbone

 

[Lane]

I know that this dog has a short time left on this earth

Hey @fishbone

I'm sorry to hear what a difficult time this is for you and your dear companions. I guess the first thing I would ask is whether your dog that's having seizures could be given some CBD oil. I'm pretty sure I recall reading that some veterinarians use CBD oil in their practice--most likely for seizures. Anyway, just a thought.
​

Any words of wisdom, is appreciated.

I'm not sure I have any words of wisdom to offer. But I can share with you some perspectives about animals that are not widely held--or even widely known--and perhaps that will help you in some manner. The best way to share this might just be by telling a story.

We had a friend come to visit us this past month from another state, and she was traveling with her much beloved dog. She shared with us how she and "Angel" have been together for quite some time now--that this was Angel's third lifetime with her.

We belong to a small spiritual group that believes that animals reincarnate, just as people do. And when there's a true bond of love between them, that destiny can bring them back together again--if both agree to this arrangement. I've heard similar stories from other members of our spiritual group, so it was not an uncommon occurrence to hear this from our friend.

However, there's is a little spiritual work involved in making it happen. One has to be attentive to the clues that life provides to let us know when we're meeting old friends again. What kind of habits, or perhaps even endearing quirks does your dog have? Would you recognize them if you saw it again in a different body? Have you had any unusually clear dreams with a dog in them? What did it look like, and what was the setting?

One really pretty simple technique that can help us hone our spiritual antenna, is to work with a spiritual mantra, often referred to as Singing HU (similar to OM). This LINK will take you to a 3-MIN video on this mantra, which describes how to sing it, and what it can do to help us spiritually, especially in times of need. (I've been using it regularly for going on 40 years now.)

The most important thing it can do is bring a greater love into our lives. Which is especially important when a friend we love dearly is departing this world. It can also bring a great sense of calm. I have a recording of several thousand people singing this HU song, and I play it all night long in place of the white noise that's so often mentioned on this forum.

I believe it's helped me immensely in maintain my sense of equanimity during these past four months--some of the most difficult of my life. I've hesitated to share this on the forum, even though I feel it could help others immensely as well. But I'm still new, and have not been sure whether some rather unorthodox orientations I have would be welcome. But since you were sincerely asking for support during this difficult time, I thought I'd take a chance, and share what works for me--as unorthodox as it may be.

For me, love is always the answer. May you find it in abundance in the coming days, in whatever form it may come. It sounds like it's already coming your way to ease this transition period in your life. Warm smiles and talking with other people are true blessings when they come our way--especially when we're struggling to maintain our equilibrium.

All the Best!​

 

[Bam]

@fishbone
I understand your pain my friend. My terrier is my world. These days he is my strength, he provides me with company, love and even more importantly now, with the crippling blow T has dealt me, self esteem and a reason to go on.

He was very badly behaved when he was younger, I'm not taking ripping s*** up, I'm talking ripping people up! We thought long and hard and shed many tears over euthanising him. But I couldn't do it. I loved him too much to ever give up on him. So I ploughed every ounce of love I had in to him and I turned my life upside down just to ensure he survived. And slowly but surely he returned that faith and love by becoming the most wonderful dog and friend you could imagine. Very often people comment how great he is when he's strolling around town off lead saying hello to strangers and it makes my heart swell and often brings a tear to my eye knowing we came through the storm of his early years and my dedication, love and faith paid off. He's my greatest achievement.

So truly I understand the sorrow of letting go. And one day I too will face this trial, and I too will stutter and stumble and hesitate and my heart will scream with pain. But despite all this I will do what I have to do, because like when he was younger and I faced the same heart breaking decision, love and compassion will again be my guide and my strength.

Fish, I know you have come to terms with your tinnitus but I also know despite your self confessed 'warrior' stance, you still know what it's like to be in great pain. You see it on these boards day in, day out. The terrible suffering. So you get it.....you understand. The great blessing we have with animals is that we have the choice to free them from that suffering. And it really is a blessing. Truly. There is nothing more noble than enduring terrible heartache, to free someone you love from pain and suffering.

I cannot tell you what to do, you know your dog better than anyone. But in this personal trial you must draw on the empathy and warrior strength you have built up over the years. From one dog father to another I reach out to you in love and compassionate understanding.

 

[glynis]

@fishbone,
I understand how much you love your dogs they are family and just like our children and the unconditional love they give us and companionship and love in there eyes says it all.
When her time on earth is near the end you will have her love and memories always and apart of her in her son and over time the heartache will pass .

Life will go on without her and that is what's meant to be but she will be by your side always but just not their to see !

fishbone pm me anytime as always here for you.
lots of love and hugs glynis xxx

 

[TracyJS]

@fishbone
You have probably read how much I love my dear cat Riley. She is such a precious loved one. I understand completely how much you love you have for your animal loved one and how hard this must be.
I am so sorry you are faced with such a difficult decision. This is so hard. And the pain so great. You will figure out what to do. We are all here to support you.

 

[fishbone]

Thank you my friends

She was not able to walk last night and couldn't stand on her feet. After some sleep, she is able to walk a little. I know it's a matter of time before she leaves me. I have a very difficult martial arts exam and it starts at 9 am. I was up till 4am and I was mentally/physically exhausted. I broke my streak of almost 3 months without a sleeping aid and took a melatonin and got 1 1/2 hour of sleep. I count that as a blessing and my little girl is able to walk a little and eat her treats.

I will get and appreciate all she can give me, before the final curtain goes down. I will post as this situation progresses. It's very draining for me and I already have a full plate daily.

Bless all of you that fight the good fight in life. I always think of all of you and try to help you good people.....

 

[Starthrower]

Oh I am so very sorry fishbone. Everyone wrote such beautiful words to you. I understand the heartache and pain.

There is a book called Merle's Door by Ted Kerasote that is a wonderful account of the love of our dogs and how they depend on us to make decisions. It made me laugh. It made me cry. The book helped me understand the beauty of love for our dogs and how to hold onto our strength to make such decisions.

Thinking of you and know the love for your dog is stronger than anything on earth.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Last week she had 6 seizures and was in the hospital and she is now on 4 meds and was released last week. Dr wanted to put her down, but I could not do it.

I went to one of my favorite restaurants today and this pretty lady smiled and started talking to me and I was in the gym and this beautiful gal smiled at me as well.

HI @fishbone

I am very sorry to hear of the difficulties that you are going through at the moment with your dog and understand the emotional attachment that you have with your pets. I took care of my late mother's two cats when she passed. I looked after them for a number of years and grew quite fond of them. Last year one suddenly got sick, age thirteen. I wasn't prepared when the vet said nothing could be done and it would be best to have the cat put to sleep rather than prolong its misery.

It wasn't an easy decision to make but I had every confidence in the vet so agreed to have my cat put to sleep. Please follow the advice that your Dr has given you and have your dog put down. The Dr is a professional and has probably been practicing veterinary medicine for many years. Whilst a vet's job is treating and saving the life of an animal, I am sure if there was any hope she would advise you of this. Take a deep breath and agree with her decision because it's the right thing to do and you'll feel better knowing that your dog is no longer suffering.

This world is not an easy place but probably it has always been this way to some degree. However, I believe a man has to be very careful today, for he can be accused of all sorts of things or his actions misinterpreted by some women. It is also true, some men do not respect women and believe they can say anything to them and do as they please and she should just accept it which is definitely not on.

You have said two pretty women smiled at you and one actually started a conversation. In both scenarios these women were being friendly. You can choose to smile back and perhaps this will take you into a conversation where you get to know more about these two people. You may find that you have certain things in common. There is nothing wrong in making polite conversation with someone. Please don't make tinnitus stop you from participating and enjoying life with someone. The lady that initiated the conversation clearly gave you a green light that she wanted to talk so why hold back?

Hope you start to feel better soon.
All the best
Michael

 

[glynis]

This was my dog Jack whom I loved with all my heart.
He was a rescued dog about 6-8 months old.
When I went to see him all the pads on every paw had been ripped off and infected and be had bitten all down his own legs,his white fur was gray and ears bent over and verry skinny.
I cried my heart out and begged to take him home and would have my one to one care and paws and legs treated and spoilt and loved and he never left my side and it took 6 weeks before he could go for a walk.
The bond we had was strong and Jack was like my shadow.
We went everywhere together and he new I had health problems as became like my protector.
He lived a fantastic life and one night he went off his back legs and his breathing was hard and we new it was his time.
I sat on the carpet all night with his head on my legs and stroked him all night and said I love you so much jack and It was ok to go because it's your time now and he slipped away in my arms peacefully.

It has been 3 years with out him and all my family loved him and my sons .
Life has moved on without him in time but so glad he was in my life and all the fun and love we shared and will never forget him.
I always sang the song 'you are my sunshine my only sun shine you make me happy when sky's are gray,you'll never know dear how much I love you,please don't take my sunshine away.
He was my sunshine xxx

 

[Jazzer]

View attachment 19762 This was my dog Jack whom I loved with all my heart.
He was a rescued dog about 6-8 months old.
When I went to see him all the pads on every paw had been ripped off and infected and be had bitten all down his own legs,his white fur was gray and ears bent over and verry skinny.
I cried my heart out and begged to take him home and would have my one to one care and paws and legs treated and spoilt and loved and he never left my side and it took 6 weeks before he could go for a walk.
The bond we had was strong and Jack was like my shadow.
We went everywhere together and he new I had health problems as became like my protector.
He lived a fantastic life and one night he went off his back legs and his breathing was hard and we new it was his time.
I sat on the carpet all night with his head on my legs and stroked him all night and said I love you so much jack and It was ok to go because it's your time now and he slipped away in my arms peacefully.

It has been 3 years with out him and all my family loved him and my sons .
Life has moved on without him in time but so glad he was in my life and all the fun and love we shared and will never forget him.
I always sang the song 'you are my sunshine my only sun shine you make me happy when sky's are gray,you'll never know dear how much I love you,please don't take my sunshine away.
He was my sunshine xxx

Beautiful xxxxx

 

[Mystery Reader]

@fishbone
You have such a big heart and have offered so much unselfish support to so many here on the forum. I offer a little support of my own now, to you in this difficult time. Best to you, always.

Mystery Reader

 

[Bam]

@glynis I think scientists need to start looking at a link between huge hearted animal lovers and ringing ears Glynis.xx

 

[Wolfears]

I think someone has already mentioned it above, but you should try giving them CBD oil, as it is known for it's anti seizure properties.
Either way, I hope that your dog gets better, as I'm a dog loving person myself.

 

[glynis]

@fishbone ,Thinking of you today and hope your martial arts comp went well and you aced it...
Hope your little dog is comfortable as can be .
love glynis x

 

[Jazzer]

Hi TT family,

it's rare but I am asking for your support. I have 3 dogs and 2 of them are on meds. One dog is almost 17 years old and the other 12 1/2. All 3 are Chihuahuas. 2 are boys and 1 is a girl. The girl is 12 1/2 and she has been having issues with seizures lately. Last week she had 6 seizures and was in the hospital and she is now on 4 meds and was released last week. Dr wanted to put her down, but I could not do it.

Today she has been feeling really bad and I took her to the dr and again she suggested that I put her down. I told the dr that i'd do anything for her but i cannot put her down. This female dog has a son and they are super close and they love each other like human's love their moms and sons. I live alone with these dogs and they are my backbone of support right now. They push me to be who I am these days and I come here and support you folks.

I know that this dog has a short time left on this earth and it destroys me to know that she will be gone probably in 1-2 weeks. I am usually very strong minded and a warrior, but losing the only things (these little saints) that support me daily is a crushing blow to me.

I have even arranged a meeting with my counselor next week, so she can guide me in this painful time.

I went to one of my favorite restaurants today and this pretty lady smiled and started talking to me and I was in the gym and this beautiful gal smiled at me as well.

Having tinnitus makes it hard, to date and find a spouse/mate. Because of that I am attached to my pets and I love them like there is no tomorrow. It torments me to see them sick and losing them is just brutal for me...

Any words of wisdom, is appreciated.

Thank you TT Fam....

Dear fish
I don't know what I can say that might help.

I can say that your care and concern for every one of us is just truly amazing.
You are a gem my friend.
I personally owe you much.

Your love for your critters is just beautiful to hear about, and reflects my own feelings for my adorable critters.
They have our hearts, no question.

I hope these little sweethearts do perk up, and pull through fish,
very best wishes always buddy,

Jazzer
Dave
xxx

 

[fishbone]

@fishbone ,Thinking of you today and hope your martial arts comp went well and you aced it...
Hope your little dog is comfortable as can be .
love glynis x

The exam was over 4-5 hours. I did very well but i was not focused on the exam 100%. As the hours got longer, I was just thinking to myself that i'd get home and she would be passed away on the ground. 12 hours ago she was stuck on the doggie bed and was not able to move any of her legs. I get home shes barking and jumping around and I was thrilled but just scratching my head. It's very odd, she acts like shes dying one day, then next day acts like a puppy full of energy.

I still do know that her time is coming and I'll take any extra days she can give me. This story is not over by a long shot. The martial arts exam was LOUD at some points. They had stick fighting and my tinnitus was not enjoying it. I'll just have to wait and see what new tone or just how louder my tinnitus will get because of the martial arts exam.

I truly value and appreciate all of you. Thank you for such warm and kind comments....

Bless you all....

 

[SugarMagnolia]

I grew up with pets, so I know how they become part of the family. I still have the image in my mind of my mother cradling her elderly dying lovebird in her hand all day long so the poor creature would not die alone. That little bird died feeling loved. I'm sure it will be the same with your dog. Her last days and moments will be filled with love.

 

[glynis]

My thoughts are with you...
I miss jujitsu but I'm sure a break roll will be hard at 53...lol and falling down on my lower arms.
I miss throwing people about and over my shoulders and the stance's and control to every movement .
Well done you...
love glynis

 

[fishbone]

View attachment 19762 This was my dog Jack whom I loved with all my heart.
He was a rescued dog about 6-8 months old.
When I went to see him all the pads on every paw had been ripped off and infected and be had bitten all down his own legs,his white fur was gray and ears bent over and verry skinny.
I cried my heart out and begged to take him home and would have my one to one care and paws and legs treated and spoilt and loved and he never left my side and it took 6 weeks before he could go for a walk.
The bond we had was strong and Jack was like my shadow.
We went everywhere together and he new I had health problems as became like my protector.
He lived a fantastic life and one night he went off his back legs and his breathing was hard and we new it was his time.
I sat on the carpet all night with his head on my legs and stroked him all night and said I love you so much jack and It was ok to go because it's your time now and he slipped away in my arms peacefully.

It has been 3 years with out him and all my family loved him and my sons .
Life has moved on without him in time but so glad he was in my life and all the fun and love we shared and will never forget him.
I always sang the song 'you are my sunshine my only sun shine you make me happy when sky's are gray,you'll never know dear how much I love you,please don't take my sunshine away.
He was my sunshine xxx

You are an amazing soul. That dog was so so lucky to have you as his best friend. I know just how heart broken you were. My first dog was a rescue and he was 3 months old. I went to the pound/shelter and saw the most beautiful little guy. I told the guy that I wanted him. He was like so do 11 other people. Come on saturday and if no one shows up you can have him. On saturday we had a surprise/ unexpected tornado and no one was there except me at 7 am. It was a crazy day but i cared less for my life, I wanted that dog.

I had him for almost 12 years. Towards the end he was just drinking water and not eating. They figured he had a tumor in his stomach. He was having seizures on and off. One day i was in my room and he comes laying next to me. He started having a violent seizure and i held his hand and begged him to not die. He was shaking and had a 6 hour seizure and I held his hand the whole time. At the end of his seizure he let out a loud moan and peed all over himself. He became a vegetable and I drove him to the vet and the vet asked me to say good bye to him, before he was put down. I thanked him in the room and cried like a 5 year old for 45 minutes. It was the hardest moment i ever went through in my life.......

Bless you for loving that wonderful dog so much and giving him the most amazing love and life

 

[glynis]

@fishbone,
Your a wonderful man and your dogs have a wonderful life and loving home, we need them more than they need us sometimes so stay stong and cherish every day as they know you love them endlessly...
love glynis x

 

[Wolfears]

The martial arts exam was LOUD at some points. They had stick fighting and my tinnitus was not enjoying it. I'll just have to wait and see what new tone or just how louder my tinnitus will get because of the martial arts exam.

Sounds like you are into FMA by chance?
I did some Filipino Kali stick work myself..guys like Dan Inosanto are true masters of their art.
Also enjoyed doing some Paul Vunak style dirty MMA...that was before tinnitus.

 

[Ed209]

Hi TT family,

it's rare but I am asking for your support. I have 3 dogs and 2 of them are on meds. One dog is almost 17 years old and the other 12 1/2. All 3 are Chihuahuas. 2 are boys and 1 is a girl. The girl is 12 1/2 and she has been having issues with seizures lately. Last week she had 6 seizures and was in the hospital and she is now on 4 meds and was released last week. Dr wanted to put her down, but I could not do it.

Today she has been feeling really bad and I took her to the dr and again she suggested that I put her down. I told the dr that i'd do anything for her but i cannot put her down. This female dog has a son and they are super close and they love each other like human's love their moms and sons. I live alone with these dogs and they are my backbone of support right now. They push me to be who I am these days and I come here and support you folks.

I know that this dog has a short time left on this earth and it destroys me to know that she will be gone probably in 1-2 weeks. I am usually very strong minded and a warrior, but losing the only things (these little saints) that support me daily is a crushing blow to me.

I have even arranged a meeting with my counselor next week, so she can guide me in this painful time.

I went to one of my favorite restaurants today and this pretty lady smiled and started talking to me and I was in the gym and this beautiful gal smiled at me as well.

Having tinnitus makes it hard, to date and find a spouse/mate. Because of that I am attached to my pets and I love them like there is no tomorrow. It torments me to see them sick and losing them is just brutal for me...

Any words of wisdom, is appreciated.

Thank you TT Fam....

My heart goes out to you, buddy. That's a tough situation to be in and there's not much more I can add to all the great messages that are already on here.

Take care of yourself.

 

[Elfin]

Hi @fishbone

Heartbreaking to read of the troubles that your dog is going through. I wish her the best and thinking of you in what is a very difficult time. It is a good sign that she can still enjoy treats and has the bursts of energy! Cherish each day that you guys have and (I know you will) spoil her!

I hope the exam went well, also.

You do such a great job for us all here and are so supportive. You do not deserve such hardship, but I know you will face this challenge with the same dogged determination, bravery and force of character with which you face down T.

Wishing you strength and support!

 

[fishbone]

Sounds like you are into FMA by chance?
I did some Filipino Kali stick work myself..guys like Dan Inosanto are true masters of their art.
Also enjoyed doing some Paul Vunak style dirty MMA...that was before tinnitus.

My art form has aikido, jiu jitsu, wrestling, boxing and sticks thrown in as well. It's intense and today was loud. I had an ear plug in my bad ear, the one with -75 db hearing loss. The right ear is the good ear. So far my tinnitus has not increased and no spikes yet. I kept calm when it got loud and did not fear the noise.

Fitness/martial arts and animals are my life. I cannot give up either one of them. They have saved me when I was at the lowest points of my life, they gave me life.

I live by bruce lee's philosophy of life, his wisdom and calmness inspires me... to be better and do better in the one life i have to live. He was such a calm, gentle and humble man. I strive to be a better person each day and be more of a humanitarian.....

PS- I always wanted to learn Jeet kune do, it's a fascinating art form created by master Bruce

 

[fishbone]

I grew up with pets, so I know how they become part of the family. I still have the image in my mind of my mother cradling her elderly dying lovebird in her hand all day long so the poor creature would not die alone. That little bird died feeling loved. I'm sure it will be the same with your dog. Her last days and moments will be filled with love.

Ty for your kind words. It's so odd for me to feel so so happy and jumping for joy like a little kid, even with the intrusive tinnitus. I feel like this one day, and my dog is doing ok. Next day she's in the ER and i am broken and so sad. It's painful to go through this. This journey is painful and I will enjoy it as long as i can and as long as she will give me.

I help and attend to my dogs and make sure they are ok, as I attend to the folks that suffer with tinnitus. I put in so so much effort and that's just how I am. I have a lot of distant family that hate on me and do not want to give me credit because of their own insecurities and because of my willpower and dedication to subjects/things that matter the most to me. You guys matter to me and my pets and fitness matter to me. That will never change

My goal is life is to make life better for others. I try to help every homeless person i see. By giving them a dollar, possibly helping them get a job. Sometimes a hug, by talking to them and making them feel loved. It's a great feeling to give and believe me you shall GET REWARDED for your kindness.

That's how I live my life....

 

[Contrast]

a life long pet cat of mine died in 2015 and i was having all sorts of crazy hard time coping when we put the cat down. Infact my life did nothing but go on a downward spiral from their. Sorry about your chihuahuas that's awfully sad.