Feel Guilty for Being Depressed Over This

[serendipity1996]

Does anyone else suffer from anxiety/depression as a result of or directly related to your tinnitus and other hearing issues? Recently all my hearing issues have come to a head - hyperacusis, distortion etc and I am realising that my hearing has deteriorated greatly over the past few years without me noticing until now. As a result, I have been in a pretty bad depressive slump, been in and out of a psychiatric ward, felt suicidal, only 20 years old etc.

It's got to the point where sympathetic and well-meaning friends are telling me to get a grip - "you don't have terminal cancer, babe", "life is tough, deal with it", "get out there and stop being depressed you're just experiencing some slight hearing loss." That's the thing - I am aware that they are correct. Objectively I live a very fortunate life and there are people out there living hand to mouth, children caught in warzones, orphans and refugees and here I am a privileged middle-class student freaking out about some hearing loss. I feel like I just sit and wallow in self-pity so much but battling this depression is so hard. I have just started on a course of antidepressants (Mirtazapine) so hopefully given time that will help lift my mood. I know a bit of hearing loss is not the end of the world but I can't stop mourning what I have lost (and self-inflicted too). My hearing loss is affecting not only my ability to hear, but also my balance, and cognitive functioning. I get so irrationally envious of other people, of their perfect hearing. Anyone else able to relate?

 

[glynis]

Hi @serendipity1996 ,
Tinnitus and hearing loss can cause depression for many people and people with no support at home or haven't got any one in their life to talk to who understand about tinnitus.
Support groups and forums are a great support and seeking help for depression and sleep loss and counselling is the way to go.
Never feel ashamed of having depression as its a common illness and with time and support and medication and small changes in life it can just be a bad blip in your life that will go and be stronger for it.
You have come far and glad you got medical support and after care.....lots of love glynis x

 

[Andrea White]

Hello Serendipity

I know exactly how you feel - having T rocks you to your foundations and makes you really look at your life and especially your dark thoughts.

I put up with it for months before I finally went to discuss it with my GP. I felt I was a complete failure. Before our meeting I did some research into what had worked for some people in terms of "relief" I took with me the results. He was so understanding and supportive, we agreed to work on the possibility of carrying out our own clinical trials to see what would work for me. And that's where we are - In the meantime I have had the following to rule out physical issues -

MRI - brain looks good
ENT consultant - thinks T was caused by hearing loss
Audiologist - confirmed some hearing loss at the top level

I have tried rTMS (repeat transcranial Stimulation) - did not work for me.
Tried an SSRI - but worried it would exacerbate T (Citalpram)

Currently we are trialing Amitrypteline - its working well, no s/effects and not habit forming. I also now have tiny, discreet hearing aids which give me back those top notes and this has helped me enormously.

Research reveals that there are a lot of things that have worked for some people. It seems that each of us has our own response to "solutions for relief". I can only suggest that if you're up to it, that you take a look at what people have said works, and to make friends with your GP! They know little about T, but if they are open minded, would support you to try different approaches which may help.

I hope this is of use.