Finding It Hard to Cope

[astaff14]

My struggles with tinnitus began about a week and a half ago due to ear wax build up. Underwent ear syringing, which seemed to decrease the volume of the ringing/cause a change. While before it was a constant, piercing ring it now sounds like a sort of variable tv static noise, sometimes sounding more like cicadas, with a low ring noticeable if I'm in a quiet room or plug my ears.

For some reason, the ringing that I cannot always hear causes a lot of anxiety, as I find myself constantly listening for it, convinced it will get louder or worse again. In general the fears that it will get worse has been the worst part; I find myself flinching away from loud noises, even people speaking or the tv, even though I don't think the loudness actually bothers my ears, just makes me feel afraid.

Since this has began I feel a huge lack of pleasure in my life. I can't enjoy smoking weed like I used to due to the constant anxiety; I can't play video games because I'm scared the headphones I use are damaging my ears (I have to use them most of the time); even working is a struggle due to the irritation the constant beeping/loud ringing tones from the security sensors at the front doors causes.

I feel so pathetic, too, because my tinnitus isn't even that bad. It irritates me, certainly, but it's even quite the improvement from where I was a week and a half ago. So why am I still so annoyed by it??

I feel a lot of regret in that I believe the actions I took (ear syringing, not taking good enough ear protection) have led me to develop this constant tinnitus, as before the ear wax I would only notice it like once a week at most. Yesterday I visited another doctor, who informed me that my ears were free of wax, had no fluid build up and looked fine... that caused a lot of despair too, as I was hoping the continued tinnitus was due to these fixable ear problems. Guess not.
I have also developed increased visual symptoms such as mild visual snow (in the dark), floaters, seeing stripes in my vision, etc, though that began gradually about a year ago. Perhaps I'm just focusing on it bc of the proposed connection between VS and T.

I'm just a mess about this & consumed with fears that it will get worse. I see an ophthalmologist in a couple weeks at least. Also been put on remeron, which I can't help but worry about too! Every drug seems to have mild ototoxicity.

I couldn't bring myself to take amoxicillin (didn't end up needing it anyway-misdiagnosed sinus infection) and I don't know if I can bring myself to take the remeron due to side effect fears. Anyone have any tips on how to get over that side effect fear?

Anyway thanks to anyone who reads this post, I'm really just suffering with the anxiety this causes & don't know how to cope

 

[astaff14]

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[dayma]

Anxiety is pretty common in the early stages as you are in. Heck , I am almost 3 months in and it's "supposedly" early.

For Anxiety I would seek a therapist / psychiatrist as they can put you on a proper path to learn how to cope. This could be a combo of antidepressants, BENZOs and most likely some type of CBT. Drugs alone won't fix anxiety and/or depression. You will need to focus on changing the emotions through CBT with things like mindfulness, deep breating, STOP Action, Radical Acceptance, Open Hands and Smiling face, etc...

Hope this helps....

 

[astaff14]

@dayma thank you for your reply. I think you are indeed right-treating the anxiety and negative feelings associated w this I'm sure will help me & help to habituate eventually too. im too nervous about the remeron I've been prescribed side effects- will definitely consult with a therapist to see if I have any better options.
best of luck to you as well-I think any amount of time living with tinnitus is quite the task, 3 months I'm sure feels like a lifetime.

 

[Jack Barnes]

@astaff14 So sorry to hear about what you're going through. I can relate 100%. Just know that time heals all wounds. I'm 6 months into mild/moderate T & H and while I still have bad days, I'm much better equipped to deal with the anxiety and setbacks now as opposed to earlier on. For me it's all about acceptance and moving forward.

It WILL get better for you. I promise.

 

[astaff14]

@Jack Barnes im glad to hear you've found some relief! it rlly is encouraging to hear that so many can find relief after some time living with t. thank you for the reply I'll try and keep hopeful when the anxiety hits, it rlly can make a difference.

 

[Clark]

I'm also going through the same thing, however mine was a bit better after ear syringing, it stays on a very low sound compared to a clogged one, and also easy to masked frequency. Try getting sleep with masking sounds, itll definitely make you feel better in after getting much sleep. You can do this, Im on my first week