Got Screamed at Today... Worried :(

[astaff14]

My boyfriend screamed at me a lot and pounded his fists on his desk a bunch today and it hurt my ears at the time and made my left ear feel swollen. I imagine he screamed for a total of like 10 minutes, for most of it I was about 10 feet away from him.

Funny enough the argument started because I flinched during a loud video that he was talking loudly over & covered my ears. He doesn't understand tinnitus or hyperacusis at all, won't turn volume down or talk more quietly. Just gets annoyed.

I'd guess he was yelling at around/a little 100 db. I was able to cover my ears a little but that sent him flying off the handle more so I tried not to the banging on the desk hurt my ears more so than the screaming I think but... I'm just worried.

Tinnitus is a little worse than baseline but I'm not sure if it's because I'm just stressed or if it's because of his screaming/banging.

 

[dingaling]

Sounds like a really nice bloke....

Obviously none of us were there but guess your spike occurred as a direct result of your increased stress given the heat of the moment

Hope everything calms down for you

 

[David Dubros]

Your boyfriend sounds like an idiot.
I hope you recover

 

[Red]

Please dump this fellow. If your partner erupts over something like this and is that unsupportive of you, imagine what he will be like in the future. Not always an easy choice financially but do consider it.

 

[Hayden Gooddy]

I hope you feel better soon :/ Tinnitus ebbs and flows, spikes and calms. You should be okay eventually! Mine is spiked rn from a hockey game lol.

 

[Tinker Bell]

I think you will be okay, but I am sure the stress of that experience could elevate tinnitus.

Not to be overly dramatic, but please do not stay with him. Anyone who has the immaturity and temperament to react in such a manner is not going to change. If that is how he reacts to you flinching to noise, then how will he react when something truly difficult happens?

And rough things will happen, it's how life works. Bad days at work, dinner that's not ready on time when you're tired and hungry, kids who do not want to do their homework . . . well, you can see how my day went! No tirades from my spouse. Only support.

Take this as a warning preview and walk away. Your partner should support you in good and bad times. They do not have to fully understand your tinnitus and hyperacusis to still be capable of expressing empathy, kindness and respect.

 

[astaff14]

Thank you everyone for the replies. He was indeed being quite an ass but I do have hope he'll understand-he'll have to if he wants to stay with me, as so far the tinnitus has-its part of me now.

I am feeling a little better today, my left ear always feels full-today perhaps only a little more so than usual.

 

[Rajin]

Sorry to hear that , hopefully the stress will ease and your T will lower to baseline. But if a little thing like that make him scream 100db , pound his first. My advice is he a animal. Leave.

 

[cjbhab]

Sorry to hear that, I am blessed to have a fiancé who cares and also she doesn't care to go to loud places or do loud things either so that helps. Her family is loud AF though, they aren't that bright though, lower middle class, so I can't really blame them.

 

[Christophe_85]

This guy seems nice...

 

[Tex]

You need to really rethink this relationship. He is bad for your health both emotionally and now physically because of your ears. Just be aware that if he ever hits you, that could cause your Tinnitus to elevate and possibly stay elevated forever. My doctor's personal assistant, who is a young girl in her twenties, has T from a car accident that only had a minor impact to her head.

 

[jjflyman]

its part of me now

IMO it won't always be..chances are it will fade away over time

 

[slipware]

@astaff14

I'm not a relationship councillor, but hey, that's not normal behaviour. Nobody can tell you what to do, only advise, if he treats you and your tinnitus like that, there really is no hope. I wish you well.

As far as the T is concerned, don't worry, I'm sure it will drop back.

 

[Julien87]

Is he autistic or something? (this is a serious question, I never make fun of autists). This reaction is definitely not normal.

 

[TuneOut]

My boyfriend screamed at me a lot and pounded his fists on his desk a bunch today and it hurt my ears at the time and made my left ear feel swollen. I imagine he screamed for a total of like 10 minutes, for most of it I was about 10 feet away from him.

What did he scream about for 10 minutes? What issues was he having with your tinnitus? Does he think you're making it up? It's an extreme reaction to you simply covering your ears.

Although my girlfriend did say she's gotten angry at me for doing the same when she talked too loudly. But she didn't go on a screaming rampage.

 

[Vincent R]

My boyfriend screamed at me a lot and pounded his fists on his desk a bunch today and it hurt my ears at the time and made my left ear feel swollen. I imagine he screamed for a total of like 10 minutes, for most of it I was about 10 feet away from him.

Funny enough the argument started because I flinched during a loud video that he was talking loudly over & covered my ears. He doesn't understand tinnitus or hyperacusis at all, won't turn volume down or talk more quietly. Just gets annoyed.

I'd guess he was yelling at around/a little 100 db. I was able to cover my ears a little but that sent him flying off the handle more so I tried not to the banging on the desk hurt my ears more so than the screaming I think but... I'm just worried.

Tinnitus is a little worse than baseline but I'm not sure if it's because I'm just stressed or if it's because of his screaming/banging.

This guy is abusive, and it's not a gray zone. Seriously, you'd find someone who'd treat you better in less than half an hour at any major dating site. You should consider the act of dumping him and replace him a matter of mere logistics.

 

[Ambassador]

Dump him fast, abusive guys like this never get better, they only get worse.

 

[jay777]

get a stun gun and zap him next time

 

[Karl28]

Please dump this fellow. If your partner erupts over something like this and is that unsupportive of you, imagine what he will be like in the future. Not always an easy choice financially but do consider it.

Leave him

 

[Apolonia]

Just dump him... It is sometimes hard to be alone but then again it is better that than having to put up with someone who cannot understand this condition or any other... I wish he had tinnitus from his own screaming. Asshole!!!!

 

[zeroday]

Kick him in the nuts...

 

[Kingdawson]

Your boyfriend sounds like a waste of space twat to be honest. When he's sleeping shout in his ear(s) and see how he likes it. Chances are he will understand tinnitus a little better.

 

[CrystalB]

Some people doesn't realize what it's like until they have to go thru something like this! So your boyfriend seems like he just doesn't get it, maybe eventually he will come around I hope so for your sake, if he truly loves you he will help you.
We all are going to have something happen to us eventually in our life and that's when we find out if our partners are there for us!