Had a Bad Spike, Was Suicidal, It Went Away

Ricky Demetro

Member
Author
Dec 24, 2015
10
Tinnitus Since
09/2009
Hey all,

Hope you're all keeping strong. I know what a nightmare this can be.

Anyway, just letting you know, I am probably the most anxious person in the world, and I always get a spike after a cold. Anyway, I got a spike, and I was in a death-spiral of fight-or-flight panic. I was thinking "Is it going to last forever?" "Will I hear this noise exchanging vows on my wedding day?"

It peaked exactly a week after the spike. I am a teacher, so I had to stand in front of my class and teach all while hearing such an annoying "PSSSSSHT!" in my right ear. I gave up masking it, lost all hope, and decided I would kill myself.

I called my mom and alluded to the fact that I was going to do it. Even though I had just decided on this about an hour prior, I had definitively made up my mind. My mom said "If you do what you say you're going to do, just know that I'll be right behind you." So I never considered suicide as an option again.

The next morning I was looking up some videos to help me. A lot of the audio relief tracks gave me temporary relief, however, this one was a godsend:

Today, 10 days after the spike, the tinnitus has receded to a barely noticeable, easily ignorable level.

I want you guys to know a couple of things:

1. Tinnitus has MANY MANY MANY MANY causes! Never believe someone who says "There's no treatment for tinnitus." Of course there is! Try to treat the underlying issues.

2. Never stop trying to improve your situation. We can ALWAYS make our lives better. Never give up. Even if you can't PHYSICALLY help your tinnitus significantly, we can always improve our mental states dramatically in leading healthy lives.

3. People who recover from tinnitus probably stop posting here. I really didn't want to write this post, because I had recovered from my spike and I just wanted to move on with my life, and didn't really want to visit "tinnitus land" again. But you know what, I owe it to you guys, because reading this forum has helped me a lot. But just know, that most people, once they get better, probably just move on and stop posting about tinnitus online.

Good luck everyone, we can always make our lives better, even if you have to wear and in-ear masker, even if you have to wait a long time to habituate, there is so much that life has to offer and we should never give up.

Ricky

P.S.: Something interesting- after my tinnitus disappeared, I didn't feel the "relief" I was expecting. I just felt normal. My everyday problems began to creep up into my psyche again. Of course, I feel much better not having tinnitus, but it's kind of like "Welp, things are back to normal now" rather than me kissing the ground crying tears of joy. I don't feel the incredible thankfulness I thought I would feel, but yes I am grateful.
 
The next morning I was looking up some videos to help me. A lot of the audio relief tracks gave me temporary relief, however, this one was a godsend:
How many times did you do this method per day? I was diagnosed with ETD as well and I was wondering how many times a day this worked for you.
 
Maybe 5-10, not really sure. Whenever my ear really bothered me, it would make it subside. I would do 20 repetitions each time, and really bring my jaw all the way down and jut my jaw all the way out. I looked really dumb, so I made sure I did it in private haha :)

This video also almost instantaneously helps, but I found the relief wasn't long term for me:


good luck
 
Thanks for coming back here. I know how hard it is to do.

I spent so many days browsing TT in the depths of tinnitus hell, my mind still associates the colors&design of this site with pain and anxiety, even though I'm quite OK nowadays. :)

Now that you've experienced tinnitus hell, please take care of your ears and may you never have reason to post here again.
 

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