- Aug 13, 2017
- 7
- Tinnitus Since
- 1994
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise Traumata, Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, Weak Kindey Yang
Hello TTalk,
Kansei is the Japanese word for peaceful calmness, solitude.
A state that I try to achieve.
I am a 36yo guy from southern Germany/Switzerland.
I have several Tinnituses going on, 3 on the left ear in a range around 6 kHz
5 on the right in the range between 2 and 6 kHz
I have a strong hyperacusis, sonophobia
I my pain level is 55 to 60 db
my T/H story so far, Tinnitus relevant topics bold, rest can be skimmed.
WALL OF TEXT incoming.
I always was an anxious kid, that got bullied, i have adhd and am odd.
I had a mild Tinnitus since 1994, since i was 14.
Electronic music was a huge passion of mine that i grew up with.
I developed a light hyperacusis in 1999, at age 18, after a club visit with an cold and too much playing
with the Music software ReBirth on the day after.
I recovered from that and was also to go out with earplugs.
From 2001 to 2006 I did a few years of making music, organising parties with friends in my hometown, djing and playing in a band.
In 2007 shit hit the fan: I was in the second year of a stressful degree, was doing an internship in another city some guy who i rented out my apartment to, left me with debts, so i had to look for a new flat for the upcoming semester, while killing the debt with extra freelance work in the evenings, after "regular work". On the weekends i stressed myself with looking for a new flat in my hometown. On September 19th 2007, my friends visited my city for an "experimental media concert" on a weeknight. I was in a rush and didn't find my regular earplugs so i took a -15db pair i bought for trying out with me. Some guy at the concert did high frequency shit on a modular synthesizer on a p.a. far too big for the room while stressfull visuals overstimulated the people. The bad earplugs weren't enough for a extreme concert. I went home, went asleep. On the next day i had enormous T and earache on the left ear.
After some days of rest i tried to make music on my equipment. The ache returned after 5 minutes of music. Loud noises trigger the hyperacusis and the tinnitus immediately, but leave after 2 weeks of silence. I experienced the same with listening to normal music.
Music, the big source of energy, hope and distraction. The thing i was defining myself with, My Social Life was gone. My musicmaking friends were gone. Only work was left.
The isolation, loneliness and helplessness was killing me I am a peaceful guy. if you would give me the chance to kill this guy at the concert in exchange for taking this sensorious hell off me, i'd do it.
So i bit myself through another strenous semester and moved back in my mother. I payed of the debt, did 12 courses in the upcoming semester, After some time i was able to listen to music again: I discovered that i am sensitive against frequencies over 9000 hz, so i cut them out. i cut out all high frequencies and listened on small levels on my laptop speakers. The Band Boards of Canada became my Refuge. Calm, instrumental downbeat. I listened to them and some happyness came back into my life. There's one song characterised that time:
I remember listening to it on the nights where were working at the university, to finish projects with allnighters,
doing power naps on tables at 4am.
Finally the Workload reduced, but i got RSI in BOTH of my arms. I also got my second Hearing Loss at the end of the semester, so i decided to get through the end by getting intravenous cortisol therapy. The results were extreme: My pains were gone, the Tinnitus were gone, even my arachnophobia was gone. All supressed by Cortisol.
After a week and after finishing a shitload of work, i had my THIRD Acute Hearing loss and a nervous breakdown in 2008. I had been working 2 years non-stop for university projects, as freelancer, with little to money. I reached an end point. It coudn't go on like this.
I took a semester off to finish 2 remaining Projects, went for a short trip to italy. it took me 6 months to clear out a psychosis i developed from the IV Cortisol therapy.
It went to become better from 2009 –to 2012 I stepped down and started saying "no" to Bullshit and stupid assignment, cut some bad clients loose from my life and moved.
I was in Luck: I had acquired the best grossing freelance job i ever had by writing a 2 sentence mail to a client and disposable money.
I did something that improved my condition the most:
I started a TCM Therapy in my hometown.
Diagnosis said weak kidney yang, problems with spleen and lungs full of slime, that caused statis of energy, plus the energy was stagnating in my head, boosting adhd and the tinnitus.
A herbal therapy to get rid of the slime, plus Acupuncture "grounded" me and removed the surplus energy from my head. This improved my situation and hyperacusis greatly.
I was able to take part in social life again, could listen to music and could dj at home on small levels.
At the end of 2012 i moved to another town, starting a masters degree.
In 2013 my condition had improved so well, that i tried making music once again, at home on a low level. I destroyed the progress of 5 years in one afternoon. Apparently, it's not a noise but a signal Processing problem. I can't focus on making music. It overloads my brain.
From 2013 on, i had several noise traumata, worsening my hyperacusis and t each time.
I tryed to compensate with more Chinese Medicine therapy, keeping the thing in check.
I started a new job 2 months ago, it's kinda stressful, and i had 3 stressy noise situations:
- I was forced to cut a 20 seconds video with music, alleviating the sensitivity levels once again
- I was on a loud old airplane for a flight, alleviating the sensitivity levels once again
- I had a noise trauma because my current boss can only sneeze if he yells, too. He does this at 90dB, 2 metres next to me. I told him we need to fix this or i'd be gone.
I'm pretty f***ed at the moment, because i need the money from the job, as my saving are dry from a long spell of unemployment. I had to cancel a holiday with two good friends, who are going to japan.
I'm also pretty baffeled and don't know how to fight my situation next. Depression hit me hard. I just want to be healthy. I could endure the T, but i need a solution for the Hyperacusis, so i can live. again.
I plan to try this next:
–Eating lean white meat again to improve my nutrition, i am a vegetarian since 17 years (2000).
–CDB Oil consumption as recommended in one the threads here
Kansei is the Japanese word for peaceful calmness, solitude.
A state that I try to achieve.
I am a 36yo guy from southern Germany/Switzerland.
I have several Tinnituses going on, 3 on the left ear in a range around 6 kHz
5 on the right in the range between 2 and 6 kHz
I have a strong hyperacusis, sonophobia
I my pain level is 55 to 60 db
my T/H story so far, Tinnitus relevant topics bold, rest can be skimmed.
WALL OF TEXT incoming.
I always was an anxious kid, that got bullied, i have adhd and am odd.
I had a mild Tinnitus since 1994, since i was 14.
Electronic music was a huge passion of mine that i grew up with.
I developed a light hyperacusis in 1999, at age 18, after a club visit with an cold and too much playing
with the Music software ReBirth on the day after.
I recovered from that and was also to go out with earplugs.
From 2001 to 2006 I did a few years of making music, organising parties with friends in my hometown, djing and playing in a band.
In 2007 shit hit the fan: I was in the second year of a stressful degree, was doing an internship in another city some guy who i rented out my apartment to, left me with debts, so i had to look for a new flat for the upcoming semester, while killing the debt with extra freelance work in the evenings, after "regular work". On the weekends i stressed myself with looking for a new flat in my hometown. On September 19th 2007, my friends visited my city for an "experimental media concert" on a weeknight. I was in a rush and didn't find my regular earplugs so i took a -15db pair i bought for trying out with me. Some guy at the concert did high frequency shit on a modular synthesizer on a p.a. far too big for the room while stressfull visuals overstimulated the people. The bad earplugs weren't enough for a extreme concert. I went home, went asleep. On the next day i had enormous T and earache on the left ear.
After some days of rest i tried to make music on my equipment. The ache returned after 5 minutes of music. Loud noises trigger the hyperacusis and the tinnitus immediately, but leave after 2 weeks of silence. I experienced the same with listening to normal music.
Music, the big source of energy, hope and distraction. The thing i was defining myself with, My Social Life was gone. My musicmaking friends were gone. Only work was left.
The isolation, loneliness and helplessness was killing me I am a peaceful guy. if you would give me the chance to kill this guy at the concert in exchange for taking this sensorious hell off me, i'd do it.
So i bit myself through another strenous semester and moved back in my mother. I payed of the debt, did 12 courses in the upcoming semester, After some time i was able to listen to music again: I discovered that i am sensitive against frequencies over 9000 hz, so i cut them out. i cut out all high frequencies and listened on small levels on my laptop speakers. The Band Boards of Canada became my Refuge. Calm, instrumental downbeat. I listened to them and some happyness came back into my life. There's one song characterised that time:
I remember listening to it on the nights where were working at the university, to finish projects with allnighters,
doing power naps on tables at 4am.
Finally the Workload reduced, but i got RSI in BOTH of my arms. I also got my second Hearing Loss at the end of the semester, so i decided to get through the end by getting intravenous cortisol therapy. The results were extreme: My pains were gone, the Tinnitus were gone, even my arachnophobia was gone. All supressed by Cortisol.
After a week and after finishing a shitload of work, i had my THIRD Acute Hearing loss and a nervous breakdown in 2008. I had been working 2 years non-stop for university projects, as freelancer, with little to money. I reached an end point. It coudn't go on like this.
I took a semester off to finish 2 remaining Projects, went for a short trip to italy. it took me 6 months to clear out a psychosis i developed from the IV Cortisol therapy.
It went to become better from 2009 –to 2012 I stepped down and started saying "no" to Bullshit and stupid assignment, cut some bad clients loose from my life and moved.
I was in Luck: I had acquired the best grossing freelance job i ever had by writing a 2 sentence mail to a client and disposable money.
I did something that improved my condition the most:
I started a TCM Therapy in my hometown.
Diagnosis said weak kidney yang, problems with spleen and lungs full of slime, that caused statis of energy, plus the energy was stagnating in my head, boosting adhd and the tinnitus.
A herbal therapy to get rid of the slime, plus Acupuncture "grounded" me and removed the surplus energy from my head. This improved my situation and hyperacusis greatly.
I was able to take part in social life again, could listen to music and could dj at home on small levels.
At the end of 2012 i moved to another town, starting a masters degree.
In 2013 my condition had improved so well, that i tried making music once again, at home on a low level. I destroyed the progress of 5 years in one afternoon. Apparently, it's not a noise but a signal Processing problem. I can't focus on making music. It overloads my brain.
From 2013 on, i had several noise traumata, worsening my hyperacusis and t each time.
I tryed to compensate with more Chinese Medicine therapy, keeping the thing in check.
I started a new job 2 months ago, it's kinda stressful, and i had 3 stressy noise situations:
- I was forced to cut a 20 seconds video with music, alleviating the sensitivity levels once again
- I was on a loud old airplane for a flight, alleviating the sensitivity levels once again
- I had a noise trauma because my current boss can only sneeze if he yells, too. He does this at 90dB, 2 metres next to me. I told him we need to fix this or i'd be gone.
I'm pretty f***ed at the moment, because i need the money from the job, as my saving are dry from a long spell of unemployment. I had to cancel a holiday with two good friends, who are going to japan.
I'm also pretty baffeled and don't know how to fight my situation next. Depression hit me hard. I just want to be healthy. I could endure the T, but i need a solution for the Hyperacusis, so i can live. again.
I plan to try this next:
–Eating lean white meat again to improve my nutrition, i am a vegetarian since 17 years (2000).
–CDB Oil consumption as recommended in one the threads here
Member
