How Do I Stop “Checking” My Tinnitus?

[CompostInTraining]

I've been in hell from a two month long spike that started as a panic attack. I've gotten better slowly. From 9-10/10 all day to a 3-4/10 most days with occasional ups or downs. Hell I'm pretty sure it's back to baseline sometimes.

The problem is I cannot stop checking it. 24/7 I'm seeing if it's still there. When it's not, I'm digging deeper until I find it or if I can't find it I'm thinking about when it'll come back.

It's literally driving me insane. The attention I'm giving it is worse than the sound itself. No amount of "distraction" seems to work. How do I stop this?

 

[MBH]

Go for drives, I usually drive around my neighborhood with my music on. And I did this every night. I also went for a walk around my neighborhood. I work full time. No down time, it's like starting a new diet. You have to start a new way to deal with it.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

I need help with this too, when it's low I search until I find it.

 

[Ed209]

I've been in hell from a two month long spike that started as a panic attack. I've gotten better slowly. From 9-10/10 all day to a 3-4/10 most days with occasional ups or downs. Hell I'm pretty sure it's back to baseline sometimes.

The problem is I cannot stop checking it. 24/7 I'm seeing if it's still there. When it's not, I'm digging deeper until I find it or if I can't find it I'm thinking about when it'll come back.

It's literally driving me insane. The attention I'm giving it is worse than the sound itself. No amount of "distraction" seems to work. How do I stop this?

Don't stop yourself from checking it because the very act of trying to suppress it actually amplifies it's importance. It's kind of a paradox.

In reality, it's best to do constructive things like tidying up your house, gardening, decorating, learning new skills, etc. Try to do things that require deep concentration; for me, it was trying to raise my chess ranking. You could learn an instrument, learn to paint, start a fitness regime; there's lots you can do that can refocus your mind and give you a purpose.

The worst thing you can do is sit and ruminate and allow your thoughts to take centre stage.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

To CompostInTraining:

I could not have characterized this condition any better.

This condition will lay a number on your sense of stability the likes of which even the worst Migraines I have had will not do.

You very aptly described what I call my "PTC" (Permanent Tinnitus Consciousness).

The expectation that it will return (when you least expect it) even when it appears to be almost gone is often more stressful than the actual spike (especially with that insurmountable dread about it getting permanently worse).

This unremitting battering of our emotional resilience produces many of the characteristics of classically defined PTSD.

After 7 years and 9 months, I ask myself if my own "co-existence" with this is actually a form of insanity (which has often been defined as extreme, self-destructive behavior and obsessive, repetitive thought ideation that you are incapable of recognizing as insane).

I have reached the point of unbearableness where I will have to stop myself from making high pitched simian noises in an effort to discharge the mental pressure caused by the sheer fear that a spike induces.

For 2,765 days I have "checked" this condition about 30 times in every 24 hour period; this totals 82,950 notices I have almost involuntarily given myself about this. My fear is that this has created such a deeply ingrained pathway in my consciousness that it will never be removed.

I absolutely cannot remember what it was like to be completely oblivious to this condition (during the days prior to 01/04/2014 when I did not even know that such a condition existed).

My only far-fetched hope is that since my tinnitus is unilateral (left ear) and can be temporarily reduced when I clench my jaw, I may have the somatic type that makes me a prime candidate for Dr. Shore's Auricle device.

My Audiology Group is on the cutting edge of new treatments, and they will probably get it when it is first made available.

That's what I have to hold onto so that I will not be totally incapacitated by this.

 

[GeorgeLG]

I agree to look for activities that are good distractions when possible.

I would look for the underlying problem that is causing your hyper focus. OCD, loss of control issues, etc. In this regard the tinnitus itself is probably irrelevant. I know it's real and your suffering but your reaction to it is probably not in proportion to the problem and that is probably making it worse. You might want to consider speaking to someone who knows about such things or pursue some self help books, etc.

Good luck, I hope you get some relief. It will get better if you let it.

George

 

[CompostInTraining]

Just wanted to update. I'm still largely in the same place. Most days in at a 3-4 with spikes particularly at night to maybe 6-7 at the worst. I still think this is largely because I'm thinking about it all day and the cumulative attention I'm giving it adds up. I can go for stretch's where I don't think about it but the second I notice it again it resets the cycle. I know if I could stop giving it attention it wouldn't bother me again like before. Hoping it's just a case of time.

 

[GeorgeLG]

What are your thoughts when you are paying attention to it? Fear, anger, bitter, mad, ...

Do you obsess about other things not related? Can working on this help you?

Consider acceptance. Acknowledge it, decide that everyone develops some health challenges as they get older, it's a made up sound by our brains and it can't actually hurt us. Decide it's unimportant can be ignored. Life is not always perfect and sometimes we face things out of our control. Initially you cannot control the sound being there but you can control how you react to it. People live in noisy cities all over the world and sleep with trains going by the building at night, jack hammers and car horns all day, ... They live there because they like it and learn to ignore those sounds. Decide you like your life and want to be happy and healthy so you will start to ignore this sound and enjoy yourself. Decide that you deserve to be happy and healthy. If this is not easy for you to do consider talking to someone who can help you let this go. 50,000,000 people have this condition and it does not control the lives of most of them. Mine spikes to an 8 or 9 I'm guessing but I just ignore it most of the time. I have more important things I want to do and spend my time on. The question is why is focusing on this so important to you?

Good luck to you, I know it's real and I hope you find relief.

George

 

[Falconfox]

Perhaps you've already seen this but I highly highly reccomend it. I've habituated to tinnitus twice now and both times this post was very useful in the learning how to not check it.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/

 

[GeorgeLG]

Perhaps you've already seen this but I highly highly reccomend it. I've habituated to tinnitus twice now and both times this post was very useful in the learning how to not check it.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/

Thank you for this, it's very interesting.

George