How Do You Cope Mentally with Hyperacusis and Being Homebound?

Life’s been hard. At first, it was like going through grief, mourning the loss of your carefree existence and all the activities you can’t do anymore. Now disappearing into nothingness seems like a good option.

For those of you, who are staying at home for the majority of the time, how are you doing mentally? What's your situation? Do you still work? How do you work without making yourself worse? Do you have friends that come over? Is your family supportive? How do you get through the days without going crazy? Do you still have hope that your hyperacusis can get better?

It almost feels unreal that it’s happening.

I cry almost every day. I had to stop working. I had to move back home with my mom. I feel like my life is over and I’m super scared about the future. I don’t want to die, but I also don’t want to live like this.

I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, but I can’t.

Life is hell.

 

When I first developed tinnitus with severe pain hyperacusis, 27 years ago, I experienced all the things you have mentioned and more. This is how noise-induced tinnitus with or without hyperacusis can make a lot of people feel but it does get better with time.

We are all different so my advice is not absolute. Because noise-induced tinnitus can play havoc with a person's emotions in the way that you have described, it is important that your mental and emotional wellbeing are kept in check, as you go through this difficult and challenging period. Talk to your doctor and explain how you feel. You might be advised to take an antidepressant. I know some people are adverse to taking this type of medication but it can help to lift your mood acting like a safety net so you don't become too down, so please consider it. If you don't want to pursue this route, then consider taking a herbal equivalent like St. John's Wort. Discuss this with your doctor before taking.

I have written many posts on how to cope with tinnitus and hyperacusis when they are severe, so rather than repeat myself, please go to my started threads and print the articles mentioned below. Take your time and read them without skimming. They will help to reinforce positive thinking which is one of the most important things to help a a person in the habituation process. Habituating to tinnitus takes time so this isn't a quick fix.

Contrary to what some people believe, habituation doesn't mean one will no longer hear their tinnitus. For some people the tinnitus can reduce to such a low level it is rarely heard. However, a person can still habituate to tinnitus if it is mild or moderate. It usually becomes a problem when it reaches severe levels. I have explained this in my posts: The Habituation Process and How to Habituate to Tinnitus.

Try not to worry too much although I know it's difficult. A lot of people that develop noise induced tinnitus habituate within 6 to 18 months, with or without specialist treatment. Go to my started threads and print: Tinnitus and The Negative Mindset, Acquiring A Positive Mindset.

Talk to your GP/PCP as soon as possible and explain how you feel.

Michael

 

I want to start by saying that I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Life is truly unfair.

I developed tinnitus and hyperacusis after a concert almost 5 years ago. I was only 29 years old and this affliction has ruined my life. I’m a very stubborn person that's how I get on with life. I force myself to work, work out and see friends. I try to be happy for others and their success in life but inside I just feel sad all the time. I don't feel like I belong in this world anymore.

You are not alone in this situation and I totally get how you feel. I hope it gets better for you. For me, it hasn't. My advice is to get a job if you can and try to build up some form of new life. Try to do the things you can and try not to think too much about the future.

 

It fills me with sadness to read this. One would hope that, after a few years, tinnitus would get really low and/or one would habituate. I am quite new to this, just over 5 months, but I also feel I do not belong in this world anymore. I have not been working for 3 months already, still on leave. I still do not quite see I will be able to resume work, though I do hope I will. I need to set up my life in service to my family. It should have been this way all along, and if it wasn't for my stupid hobbies - or my stupidity really - I would not be in this place, and my life and my family's life would not be so dramatically damaged.

Have you tinnitus not improved at all? Not even hyperacusis?

 

I can relate to everything you said. It really is a terrible illness to have, and the rarity of it makes it feel particularly isolating.

Most of the advice I've seen on the Internet for releasing pent-up rage and despair is terrible for people with hyperacusis, like buying cheap thrift-store dishes and breaking them on purpose, or screaming into your own pillow, or screaming while alone in your car. That's fine for other people, but not for people like us. I routinely fantasize about breaking an entire room of fragile glass and porcelain objects with a baseball bat, but it's not anything I'd do in real life, for obvious reasons.

I mentioned my dilemma to my acupuncturist, and she suggested a surprisingly simple but effective way to release pent-up anger without making much noise: she said to do a lot of cardio exercise. Working up a sweat and getting the heart pounding is a way of calming down. She also encouraged me to take hot baths or sit in a hot sauna. Just passively sweating (not necessarily exercising) can be helpful because afterward, when your body is trying to cool itself down, your emotions tend to settle a bit and you may even get sleepy.

At first, I had some objections to cardio because it can be very noisy, but I have found that it doesn't always have to be that way. I can do jumping jacks or mountain climbers on a carpeted surface at home, and it's not very loud at all. Afterward, I feel a little less distraught about the ear problems. Combine that with a hot bath, and it's enough to stave off my depression for a few hours.

Some people feel that exercise can raise the volume or change the pitch of tinnitus, but for me it's only temporary, so I don't worry about it. I believe exercise has health benefits that outweigh the short-term annoyance of the tinnitus doing something weird. There is also the added benefit of feeling like I've accomplished something useful for my body, even if there is no direct benefit for the ears. Of all the things I hate about being recovering from tinnitus and hyperacusis, the thing I hate the most is the feeling that I'm sidelined from my own life and not accomplishing anything I can be proud of.

On a different note, are your friends in Texas supportive of your recovery and sympathetic toward your feelings? And how about your mom? It helps to have at least one person in your life who can relate to what you're going through, or who cares about your comfort, even if they haven't got a clue as to how it feels to be in your situation.

 

It's not great. I haven't really left the house for about 8 months except to go to the dentist. I could go out if I wanted to but every time I do I get worse so I don't really see the point. My hyperacusis isn't even bad to be honest I don't have any pain just sensitivity to loud sounds but my tinnitus is insane and spikes from every little noise, I've been so careful protecting my ears the past year and it's still gotten three times worse.

I was looking for online work last year before I injured my arms, now I can't type or do anything with them really, even lifting stuff is painful. I use voice navigation/voice typing on my phone and that's all I can really do, so I just end up watching videos and gambling on my phone all day, then crying myself to sleep at night lmao. Honestly I'm an introvert anyways so I wouldn't even mind sitting at home all day if I was able to play games, write, or literally do anything without fucking my arms up more.

Personally since your damage seems recent I think it's pretty likely you'll recover quickly as long as you look after your ears and don't do anything stupid. There are no statistics on it but the majority of people improve with time it seems. Wish you all the best.

 

I am partially homebound, just lost my job, but can still go for a few specific walks and am financially safe thanks to my parents and my own savings (for the moment). I am currently quite calm and happy, which I owe to counseling and buddhism. The teachings of Buddhism have been very valuable for me because even before getting hyperacusis I wasn't really happy with my life (despite having a good job and living in a nice place). Now my situation is far more difficult, yet I'm a lot happier, which is because I stopped attaching myself so much to conceptions and let go of habits that caused myself unnecessary stress (that and counseling for some other mental health issues I hadn't been able to resolve before). Buddhism to me at least is about self-complementation, or in other words, becoming more content regardless of your circumstances (because you don't put opposition to circumstances that you can't change). For me even some basic knowledge helped me prevent unnecessary suffering.

If you want to read some more about this, the following links might provide you with a quick overview:

Introduction to Buddhism
Four Noble Truths
Noble Eightfold Path

I don't have access to a community in my area (and getting there would be probably another problem if it existed), so I often look online for advice (mostly with Google and Reddit). This so far as always provided me with helpful input. So it is not absolutely necessary to have access to a community in "real-life" (but might be helpful if possible for discussion).

I had to learn how to be with rage and despair too when I learned that I would lose my job and go through that process (my bosses' behaviour was very disturbing). What I realized over time (and with some good online advice) is that all that anger was pretty useless. It's not like my anger would telepathically reach my bosses and make them feel what they did to me. And obviously I couldn't be angry with them personally either. But the anger made me feel terrible. Or as an advice said: The first to burn by anger (or rage or hatred) is yourself. The proposed solution was to be patient. So I tried to be patient with my anger (just being with it). A related and important advice was that the more difficult a situation, the more you could learn from it, so I started to see my anger as a big opportunity to learn, which helped me fully accept my anger. With some time, the anger got less (it's not zero yet, but even less anger was very welcome too of course).

As for despair, I haven't dealt with it yet. My situation became less stressful so I haven't really felt it, but it's probably still there. I assume the approach will be similar as with anger: Mindfully observe it and letting it go. This might sound easy, but it's okay if it takes a while to just stay with such overwhelming emotions.

 

I can relate to what you wrote. I have been exactly where you are now. To be honest, the outcome is unpredictable. Hyperacusis and tinnitus are things one cannot control, and it is unclear how they are going to evolve.

Be very careful with loud noise and always wear hearing protection outside home; hyperacusis and tinnitus can worsen very fast. At the same time, try to have sound around you at home, music you like (at a comfortable volume). Try to avoid using the cellphone close to your ears (use the speaker instead, at low volume). The sounds produced by cellphones and low quality speakers are really bad on our ears. Try to listen to music played at a good Hi-Fi equipment, with good speakers.

Try to search for your own new spaces of "freedom", which will be different from the careless life you may have had before, but still worth pursuing.

If you can do any of this, it may make a difference: move somewhere quiet and try to be outside, without hearing protection, if it is reasonable to think there will be no setbacks (you can do this on the beach, at a park, in the forest maybe.. in a pedestrian area maybe... NOT around traffic), try to exercise, get a bicycle, try to eat healthy (no junk food).

The longer time without a setback, the best hyperacusis and tinnitus will evolve. The downside is a setback can erase progress in a split second, so this is tough situation really. Good luck!

 

Just curious, what is your tinnitus like?

 

Thank you for your input. My tinnitus and hyperacusis are fluctuating throughout the day. Sometimes my hearing is more normal and sometimes everything sounds louder. Very weird.

I try to live quite normally. I avoid loud sounds and protect myself when experiencing normal sounds around 80 dB.

I think I was quite habituated until my hearing deteriorated further last fall. My hearing is worse in my right ear. I have no hearing loss according to the audiogram, but I know that my hearing is worse than before.

I have hearing loss and tinnitus in my family. I know that my hearing will only get worse with age. It truly sucks.

Has your tinnitus/hyperacusis changed over time? Do you have any measurable hearing loss?

 

I see you also wrote on April 20th, 2 months ago, in your profile comments:

"Tinnitus has been with me for almost five years. I have somewhat accepted it and for me it hasn't got worse yet. Travel has always been my passion and I won't give that up."

If I may quote the OP question:

@Loui, that's great that your tinnitus hasn't worsened in 5 years; that you can travel, work, work-out and can socialise with friends.

Well done!

 

I agree with the exercise. After an hour of exercise in the late afternoon or early evening, it lifts my mood, reduces anxiety, and holds off depression for the rest of the day more the most part. It makes the tinnitus more intense for a few hours, but overall, it's an improvement in how I feel. It hasn't improved my sleep at all though, and it's back to square one the next morning with anxiety.

 

@Loui, I'm so sorry you're going through this as well. I feel your pain and the way it is truly life-altering. I'm only 31 too.

I was getting better until 2 weeks ago. I could even tolerate dishes up to 70+ decibels, but I think I overdid with sound exposure, and it's been getting very bad very fast over the past few days. I'm having trouble even with typing on my computer and my own footsteps. I'm basically forced to whisper again. Even the tiniest sounds cause discomfort and sometimes pain, my tinnitus is screaming at me non-stop now, and I'm having balance issues (something I've never had before). Before the setback I had gotten so much better. I could talk to people almost freely for couple of hours, lots of sounds that were previously loud felt almost normal again, and the ringing had faded to a point where it was mostly only audible in a quiet room (although it would get louder sometimes).

I was making progress after 3 months of being bad and getting worse, and now seeing that wiped away in 2 weeks is horrible. I just can't go through this again. I think I'm even worse than I initially was after the injury. I'm at a loss here. I really can't see how life could become livable again. You make progress in months, and then just it gets wiped out so quickly. I'm mentally so tired. I just can't do this anymore. To feel it get better and become worse than it was initially? I just need help, but I don't know how to help myself or where to even turn to.

How do I cope with it? I truly have no idea anymore. I'd wanna see a therapist, but at this point, I'm scared of making myself worse. I can see myself living an almost normal life with mild hyperacusis and tinnitus that's stable. I could accept that.

Didn't your hyperacusis get worse from going out and continuing with everyday activities? Doesn't your ringing get louder? Are you not scared of that?

Just remember you are so strong for enduring this. I wish I could give you and everyone going through this a hug.

 

Moderate, though right after my last setback a year ago I deemed it low severe. @Jazzer has very severe tinnitus but manages to have peace of mind with meditation, so severity doesn't seem to make peace of mind outright impossible (but in all likeliness more difficult).

 

My hyperacusis decreased as my hearing loss progressed (due to hyperacusis, and caused by noise and hyperacusis). I have hearing loss around 45 dB at 6 kHz and 8 kHz and at the lower frequencies my hearing dropped progressively to the region of 15-20 dB, still within the range that is considered "normal" nowadays, although I suspect in the Middle Age hearing like that would have been considered "a bit deaf".

Due to all the urban and recreational noise, the thresholds of what is acceptable have changed, and ENTs say it's normal to have up to 20 dB loss.

I used to have excellent hearing before all this started. The first thing you will notice is music and high-pitched sounds are not perceived the same. It will also be harder to locate the source of sounds, where they come from (most typical example a cellphone ringing with the same ringtone everyone has, where's the cellphone?). The next phase is having trouble understanding speech in noise. And the next phase is having trouble understanding certain people even in silence, depending on the pitch of their voices and your particular hearing loss.

 

@Juan, I feel like I also have trouble understanding speech in noise. Honestly, considering the horror of hyperacusis has put me through in the past 5 months, it feels like I wouldn’t mind trading some hyperacusis for hearing loss. As difficult as hearing loss is to manage, do you think it has brought you some relief in a way, especially having hearing loss in higher frequencies and therefore being less tortured by hyperacusis? Or is that a poor trade off?

Thank you and I fully agree with your suggestions. I was spending lots of time in the nature, going to the beach and the forest. I live in a pretty tiny and quiet country, in a quiet area, close to a nature reserve where I’d take frequent walks. I could even handle few passing cars without hearing protection. I did it for weeks without a setback. I was getting better, but then a setback pretty much erased any progress I had made over the past months.

I think it’s also super difficult to tell if you’re over exposing yourself with noise, because at the moment it feels tolerable. Only over the next few days, the setback reveals itself.

How bad your hyperacusis was at its worst? Did you have bad setbacks and how did you handle this? This feels like endless nightmare to me and I’m only 5 month into this mess.

How are you doing these days? What’s your life like?

I wish I could tell you something encouraging, because I knew we all suffer here. Just hugs ok.

 

I just wanted to let @Merlin L know that she’s not alone in her struggle and that her feelings are normal. I didn’t mean to hijack the thread.

 

With moderate and stable tinnitus it is easier to meditate and find peace. Since having severe intrusive, reactive tinnitus, it has been impossible to find peace for me. I just do not have the mind to focus on mindful activities like reading etc. I have been trying to use medication and mindfulness but with my tinnitus, it is an impossible task.

 

Sorry to hear that. Do you know what caused the setback?

 

I feel for you and hope you’ll feel better soon. It’s a good sign that you improved in the first few months. If it's possible, you could try to talk to a therapist that is specialized in tinnitus patients. I don't think a regular one will understand this affliction. I went to three therapists, and the first two weren't helpful. The third was great even though she could not help me with the actual tinnitus sound and sensitivity. It was at least helpful to have someone to talk to and share my thoughts with.

From my experience, tinnitus and hyperacusis will be better and worse in periods. I had periods when it was easier and now I’m struggling again. My tinnitus and hyperacusis are fluctuating so I get the frustration. My ears can tolerate normal
sounds quite well, but I get startled if someone shouts or there is unexpected noise. My ears also seem to be full when there are a lot of different sounds. Musician earplugs help when I feel that it's too much to handle. I’m scared of making the situation worse but I try to live reasonably. I avoid loud sounds and protect myself when it's normal sounds that I think are too loud.

I think the way forward is to accept that we live with mayhem in our heads and that we just have to keep on living with limitations and anxiety. To feel sad, alone and hopeless is normal. We have a chronic condition that's affecting our lives. I’m alive because I don't want to die. We have no choice but to keep on fighting.

 

@Merlin L, I want to share a preliminary success story with you. I was around 23 years old, I accidentally shot a single round of a 9 mm pistol without hearing protection. My ears immediately rang and my hearing was muffled (50% deaf). The ringing and deafness slowly diminished over the next 5-7 days. After a couple of weeks, I felt as if I was back to normal (although I think that I suffered mild permanent hearing loss in the 4 kHz - 8 kHz range in my left ear).

Fast forward 30 years later, I was exposed to a low flying military jet, and once again tinnitus occurred immediately and pain hyperacusis later accompanied tinnitus about a week later, in my left ear. I also had almost constant mild headaches around any sorts of sound (probably caused by TTTS). I tried everything under the sun to treat this ailment (including acupuncture, herbs, supplements, hearing aids), but to no avail. As the weeks and months progressed, and with no significant improvements, the “S” word seemed inevitable. I fell into a deep depression, not caring if I lived or die. I toyed around with the “S” word, often wishing that I would fall asleep and not having to wake up. I was a nothing short of a zombie inside, just existing aimlessly and hoping someone would just bash my head and end this miserable life.

Fast forward 8+ months later (4 days ago), I tried a new supplement after watching a YouTube video. My hyperacusis then subsided by about 70%, all in the last 2-3 days. Gone were the constant headaches along with the constant itch deep inside my ears that could not be scratched. The moderately loud hissing still remains but the super high-pitched frequencies that were once unmaskable seem to have subsided significantly. My mood/depression went from a 7.5/10 to a 1/10 almost overnight. I’m not sure if this improvement has anything to do with the new supplement, but it sure seemed highly coincidental. This is nothing short of a miracle to me. I expected a gradual improvement, if any, but not anything like this.

You are still young and the power of youth is on your side. Protect your ears from loud sounds and you should see significant improvements soon. I personally don’t believe in “exposing” my ears to uncomfortable sounds. I believe that the hyperacusis is the body’s natural way to help you avoid loud noises in order to heal. Try to get good sleep and reward your body with super foods to maximize healing. Avoid too much foods with added sugars and ”junk” foods. Use an online frequency generator to help find your tinnitus frequency, and then find an appropriate tinnitus masker on YouTube to distract and sooth your brain. All this has worked for me.

Most people with acoustic trauma appear to improve (hyperacusis) in 6 to 18 months. I’m hoping that in the months to come, my tinnitus will continue to improve as well. But I’m much much happier now that my hyperacusis is almost gone.

One day, when my tinnitus improves significantly, I will post a success story.

Hang in there for now, and take care.

 

@Buddy123 - do tell, please!

 

Thank you! I’m assuming it was me getting overly confident due to hyperacusis and tinnitus improving and me not really having any serious setbacks before this. I spent a lot of time outdoors in the nature, talked on the phone, and protected less. I was close to some doors slamming and clanking dishes loudly. It’s my best guess, because I can’t actually pinpoint to anything specific. Couldn’t feel it happening at the moment, since the setback “revealed” itself over the following days. What a mess of a condition to have! Ha!

How are you doing these days? I read that protecting less made your hyperacusis better. Hope it keeps improving for you, but also stay careful

 

I think right now it is a good trade off but I did not look for it... actually I wanted to avoid hearing loss at any rate, but over the years it just happened "naturally", accelerated by the hyperacusis.

In the long run it may be a poor trade off if hearing loss progresses to the point when it has a significant impact in my daily activities. With hyperacusis one is homebound and cannot do many things but can enjoy music and the company of others at home or at very quiet places. With hearing loss it is harder to enjoy music and conversation in any noisy places... and the world gets noisier by the day.

 

750 mg GABA, twice a day on an empty stomach. Like I had mentioned, I’m not sure if the timing for healing is just coincidental. But my recent improvements are clearly not psychological. I just hope it’s sustainable.

 

That's more than frustrating if it happens like this without clear cause. I had this setback a month ago out of blue as well - I was just a little more active and napped during the day. I guess it mostly reverted to the state before it. Right now I am fairly stable. I am trying to fix my sleep, which is hard. Not doing a whole lot, but I still do get out, including being a couple of hours in car. Just very sad about this, still mourning my life and regretting the idiotic decision that put me into this.

 

Hi guys,

What you're describing here feels similar to what I've been through. Long story short, I have had weird hyperacusis without pain mainly on my left ear for about 25 days. I was diagnosed with acoustic trauma on my right ear and tinnitus of course which apparently feels better now. I'm at loss here, are we supposed to treat hyperacusis a certain way or is it trial and error? From what I gather from this thread, itsy all relative.

Please all make sure to protect your ears at all costs!

 

You could have tried Prednisone or Deflazacort right after the acoustic trauma, but it is late for that now...

Those two drugs in theory are recommended for noise trauma, although results are not amazing. I mean, sometimes they partially fix the issue, or delay the symptoms, or alleviate the symptoms, but most times they do not produce any outstanding result. And even so, that's the "classical treatment" after hearing damage caused by excessive noise.

 

I was pushing my luck and slamming the door multiple times, because I was also excited that it sounded normal loudness (it sounded like an exposure before).

What’s keeping you awake? Is it the ringing or stress/anxiety/depression? Have you tried Melatonin (although it’s not good to take it every night) or Valerian? These have helped me to be more calm and fall asleep in the past when it’s been difficult sometimes.

There is not much new to say about this and that’s frustrating too. It’s like going in these circles of waiting for it to get better, having a setback/meltdown, looking for advice/remedies/comfort, and then doing it all over again. This condition is so ridiculous that it makes me laugh at myself and the way life has become. I think laughing at it is coping too.

Keep writing in your thread when you feel like it, it’s therapeutic too.

You’re on point. It’s trial and error. What works for one (sound therapy, silence, supplements, medication, medical/alternative treatments) might not work for the other. My advice would be to start out very slowly with something you see fit for your condition and see how your ears react.

For me, in the beginning avoiding sounds and not doing any sound therapy was the best option, because my ears were very sensitive and reactive. Then 2 months later I started going out for walks and doing sound therapy with digital audio. It worked well for the next 2 months, until my setback now.

With hyperacusis, unless it’s very mild, I personally don’t recommend “pushing through” and not protecting.

We don’t need to be deadly afraid of sound, because accidental and short-lived exposures will happen (sirens, dogs, motorcycles, etc), but just going to spend an entire day at a mall because sounds less than 80-85 dB can’t hurt you, doesn’t seem a good idea to me, if you have a moderate to severe hyperacusis.

I’ve read even stories of mild cases becoming severe, because they were told not to overprotect. With that being said, I don’t mean to scare you, but you need to be aware, because it’s a condition that is affected by our environment that is largely out of our control.

Wish you all the best on this journey, because it’s not easy. Lots of people improve and in 1-2 years life has become very livable for many

 

Hard to say what's keeping me awake, but I guess it is the depression. Yes, I occasionally use Melatonin, but it does not seem to help all that much and I want to limit its use anyway.

Yes, this is a horrid condition. But what really, really anguishes me about it how unknown it is. It is really unthinkable, incomprehensible to me. I've been saying this repeatedly, but indeed I just can't get over it. There is many "health" related advice and knowledge, there are so many maladies we were warned and educated about - and most of them we can't do jack shit about (like Parkinson's, MS, most cancers). Yet this bullshit, when caused by acoustic trauma, is in the majority of cases perfectly preventable if we had only known.

I think this is tragic that our society and education systems do not spread awareness of this. And when it comes to tinnitus sufferers who do not share their knowledge and warn others - it's at least unethical.

This wretched thing should not be called "tinnitus", what stupid word. It should be called "acoustic torture syndrome" or something like that to get the point across.