How Do You Manage Restaurants with Tinnitus and Hyperacusis?

[Ant_BXL]

Hi everyone,

I have developed tinnitus and hyperacusis 8 weeks ago following a noise trauma.

I wanted to ask for feedback and advice from other people on Tinnitus Talk, how do you manage to go restaurants with tinnitus and hyperacusis? Are there things that you have noticed following a meal out?

I am going to a restaurant in a couple of weeks where the decibel level is between 68-73 on average and I am a bit worried. Wondering if it could worsen my tinnitus and hyperacusis if I were to stay there for 2 hours?

Thanks all!

 

[HearingHell]

It's risky, especially with hyperacusis. But there's a few ways to minimize risk:

1) Wear earplugs while inside the restaurant.

2) Sit at the outside tables where it's usually quieter, if that's an option.

3) Go on a day when it's less busy. Monday-Wednesday would be optimal. If you go during the weekend, it'll likely be much noisier.

Everyone's ears react differently to restaurants. Some people with tinnitus and hyperacusis can sit in a restaurant for 2 hours without earplugs and be fine, while others will get worse.

Personally, I've never worsened from a restaurant, even without earplugs, but I also don't have hyperacusis. That being said, I did eventually start wearing earplugs in restaurants because I didn't want to keep risking it.

 

[Jupiterman]

Simple, don't go.

Not worth the risk.

 

[eagerUser]

I used to avoid restaurants. But I am going a couple of times each month now. It used to be painful at first but it's 99% OK now. No earplugs, almost no pain. That's just me. You may get better or worse if you do the same.

 

[RunningMan]

I went to a restaurant recently with family, and it was a lot louder in there than I was expecting, and I didn't have earplugs with me. I made it through with seemingly no further hearing damage and surprisingly not much of an issue with hyperacusis, but I need to take some filtered earplugs along next time to allow at least some attenuation. That includes Thanksgiving Dinner.

 

[Philip83]

As earplugs mute too much, to the point that I cannot hear others speak, I usually make perfect-sized little balls of napkin-paper. They take away just enough noise and still lets me hear people talk. By now I know exactly the size I need to roll them. My right ear canal is slightly more narrow than my left one.

 

[annV]

Custom made earplugs with 17 dB filters are perfect for restaurants.

 

[RocketJSquirrel]

Custom made earplugs with 17 dB filters are perfect for restaurants.

Where can you get these?

Several years ago, I was with friends in a Las Vegas hotel restaurant. The "background" music was so loud that people literally had to shout to hear each other at the same table. This caused me to walk the round-trip mile to my hotel room to fetch the forgotten earplugs. They were the cheap foam kind, so I could not converse with anyone at the table. But it was better than being deafened.

 

[annV]

Where can you get these?

If you are in the US, I recommend 1 of 1 Custom.

There are other options too...

Custom Earplugs (ACS, Elacin, Etymotic, Westone, etc.)

 

[dan]

Peltor X5As, and you will be fine

 

[ZFire]

I hate eating food with earplugs on. I can't be the only one here, right?

 

[MindOverMatter]

I don't use earplugs in restaurants. If so, only open ones (Flare) to dampen some frequencies.

Then again, I rarely dine out - and if I do, I would opt for somewhere quiet.

@ZFire, yes, to me personally, eating with earplugs in is a no go. It is uncomfortable, and you have the occlusion effect as well.

 

[SonOfUhtred]

Makes me realise how bad my ears actually are as I would never even consider going to a restaurant or anything like it!

 

[eagerUser]

I hate eating food with earplugs on. I can't be the only one here, right?

I second that. Yes, it's just annoying.

Makes me realise how bad my ears actually are as I would never even consider going to a restaurant or anything like it!

I totally feel what you say. I was like that a couple of months ago. I replied to your message to say that you can also get better. I wish you a speedy recovery.

Best.

 

[ZFire]

I second that. Yes, it's just annoying.

Especially when chewing crunchy foods.

 

[Strawberryblonde]

Especially when chewing crunchy foods.

Crisps are the enemy! Made that mistake in the last cafe I went to.

 

[Juliane]

Makes me realise how bad my ears actually are as I would never even consider going to a restaurant or anything like it!

Same here. For me it is not even an option. When family invite me for a lunch and if more than 3-4 people are going to be there in total, I cannot go. Simple as that.

Restaurants, cinemas, social gatherings, parties, watching TV - all those things are things of the past for me. I cannot meet with my nephews and nieces because they are too noisy so I will never have any kind of relationship with them at all since I am missing out on their childhood. My life has changed in ways I never imagined. I am so lonely due to all this and my therapist is an idiot who encourages me to expose myself to more noise although it clearly makes me worse. Basically, tinnitus has ruined my life and I don't know how to move on, I am not even sure I want to move on.

Sorry for hijacking this thread :-( I am just so utterly depressed and long for mild tinnitus days where I could still go to restaurants, visit family etc. To be honest, having mild tinnitus seems like paradise to me now - if I could get that back I would be forever grateful.

I guess the morale of this short depressive story is: things can ALWAYS get a lot worse. Protect what you have. I am speaking from bitter unhappy experience.

 

[RunningMan]

Thanksgiving Dinner gathering went surprisingly well for me. Hyperacusis sensitivity was kept in check in check this time and didn't even need to wear earplugs. Anxiety was low also. Some TTTS fluttering among the voices, but not too bad. I'll take a win for once.

 

[Robert Logan]

I go, but always wear earmuffs. If I didn't, it would be a disaster as my tinnitus is extremely reactive, but so far this works (everyone knows my situation and even meeting new people isn't a problem, once I explain I'm not just rudely listening to music!)

I find earplugs make it impossible to talk to people because of how one's own voice booms, whereas my earmuffs enable me to both hear (because speech information doesn't need high fidelity audio) and talk.

 

[MindOverMatter]

@Juliane, I just wanted to let you know that your level of tinnitus (severity of it/perception of it, or whatever term you may use) doesn't necessarily comply to whether or not you would go to a restaurant or use earplugs or not.

To me, mental state (read: how I feel and manage my tinnitus, and not being hyper vigilant any longer about it), matters a lot more. Tinnitus, how we feel it is/how loud it is, is very much a subjective matter. Two people do not necessarily react the same to tinnitus, because we are all different.

I avoided restaurants and such for quite some time too. My tinnitus didn't change, but I changed. It's still there, and still as loud most days. But it doesn't get to me the same way it used to, and it's less reactive many days. We adapt - neuroplasticity is real. Not everyone will get to that point, but many do, eventually.

So, in conclusion, this is not about level of tinnitus - in my opinion. It's about how you will handle it, eventually. If you can get past the state you are now; that depressed feeling which I know, by experience, is a horrible place to be in.

There is hope.

In my book, I rather read the lines which says "there is a good chance of getting better" (not the opposite). When I came to the point of acceptance, and adapted this "mantra", it was easier to start looking forward and give me and my brain the ability to recalibrate.

I also want to point out that everyone has to do what feels best for them, obviously. And like I said, I prefer not to dine out myself. And if I do, at a calm place. High sound levels stress me out, and I do not need that in my life anyways.

 

[SonOfUhtred]

Same here. For me it is not even an option. When family invite me for a lunch and if more than 3-4 people are going to be there in total, I cannot go. Simple as that.

Restaurants, cinemas, social gatherings, parties, watching TV - all those things are things of the past for me. I cannot meet with my nephews and nieces because they are too noisy so I will never have any kind of relationship with them at all since I am missing out on their childhood. My life has changed in ways I never imagined. I am so lonely due to all this and my therapist is an idiot who encourages me to expose myself to more noise although it clearly makes me worse. Basically, tinnitus has ruined my life and I don't know how to move on, I am not even sure I want to move on.

Sorry for hijacking this thread :-( I am just so utterly depressed and long for mild tinnitus days where I could still go to restaurants, visit family etc. To be honest, having mild tinnitus seems like paradise to me now - if I could get that back I would be forever grateful.

I guess the morale of this short depressive story is: things can ALWAYS get a lot worse. Protect what you have. I am speaking from bitter unhappy experience.

Honestly, this is me as well! I've started giving people wooden disposable cutlery on the odd occasions I have people round. Thankfully they are understanding. Can't go to any of my kids' school events, parties etc.

I'm 3 years in with zero improvement. How long have you been this way?

I go, but always wear earmuffs. If I didn't, it would be a disaster as my tinnitus is extremely reactive, but so far this works (everyone knows my situation and even meeting new people isn't a problem, once I explain I'm not just rudely listening to music!)

I find earplugs make it impossible to talk to people because of how one's own voice booms, whereas my earmuffs enable me to both hear (because speech information doesn't need high fidelity audio) and talk.

Exactly this... I always explain to people I'm not listening to music as well lol. But I still feel like an idiot.

 

[Jammer]

Makes me realise how bad my ears actually are as I would never even consider going to a restaurant or anything like it!

Similarly, restaurants are a no go for me. Can't risk a dinner plate or glass falling or a loud crowd. Also can't stand not talking to my wife due to earplugs; she forgets that I'm wearing them and looks forlorn when I remind her that I can't hear her. And what's up with the increasing volume of house music that requires shouting to be heard?

Even family get togethers are verboten. All of my wife's male relatives have loud, boisterous voices (one is a football coach, as example) that they use as their normal speaking voice. I insist my wife attend, but it makes for lonely holidays.

 

[SonOfUhtred]

Similarly, restaurants are a no go for me. Can't risk a dinner plate or glass falling or a loud crowd. Also can't stand not talking to my wife due to earplugs; she forgets that I'm wearing them and looks forlorn when I remind her that I can't hear her. And what's up with the increasing volume of house music that requires shouting to be heard?

Even family get togethers are verboten. All of my wife's male relatives have loud, boisterous voices (one is a football coach, as example) that they use as their normal speaking voice. I insist my wife attend, but it makes for lonely holidays.

Again, sounds so familiar. People's voices are the worst! How long have you had this for?

 

[Jammer]

Again, sounds so familiar. People's voices are the worst! How long have you had this for?

It's going on eight years. Really sucks to have holidays and get togethers alone, but there is no other way.

 

[Alberte]

I go to restaurants at times when they are less busy and crowdy.

 

[4Grace]

@Juliane, I just wanted to let you know that your level of tinnitus (severity of it/perception of it, or whatever term you may use) doesn't necessarily comply to whether or not you would go to a restaurant or use earplugs or not.

To me, mental state (read: how I feel and manage my tinnitus, and not being hyper vigilant any longer about it), matters a lot more. Tinnitus, how we feel it is/how loud it is, is very much a subjective matter. Two people do not necessarily react the same to tinnitus, because we are all different.

I avoided restaurants and such for quite some time too. My tinnitus didn't change, but I changed. It's still there, and still as loud most days. But it doesn't get to me the same way it used to, and it's less reactive many days. We adapt - neuroplasticity is real. Not everyone will get to that point, but many do, eventually.

So, in conclusion, this is not about level of tinnitus - in my opinion. It's about how you will handle it, eventually. If you can get past the state you are now; that depressed feeling which I know, by experience, is a horrible place to be in.

There is hope.

In my book, I rather read the lines which says "there is a good chance of getting better" (not the opposite). When I came to the point of acceptance, and adapted this "mantra", it was easier to start looking forward and give me and my brain the ability to recalibrate.

I also want to point out that everyone has to do what feels best for them, obviously. And like I said, I prefer not to dine out myself. And if I do, at a calm place. High sound levels stress me out, and I do not need that in my life anyways.

I agree with your above post. I have been doing that to some degree. Would you suggest the same for me because I have pain hyperacusis? Moderate to severe at times. I think the only way I can keep living is by living. I know one guy as bad as me. He is a bit careful but still does a lot and just puts up with it. I have this strange feeling about just doing what I want to do but I fear how bad it can actually get. If it was just tinnitus, I would be so much better by now. Missing everything is just as hard as having tinnitus and hyperacusis.

 

[ZFire]

I ate at a pizzeria just now with no earplugs needed. The catch, it was 3am in the morning. It was calm, quiet, no loud music, and a few people there. So wonderful lol.

Luckily, I wasn't mugged.

 

[Ben Winders]

This is, of course, my personal opinion:

I have terrible tinnitus and hyperacusis (crickets and low drone). The low drone noise i have in my left ear reacts to water running, MacBook fan, crickets in summer, my own voice... brrrr - it's been horrible these past years.

In the 3.5 years that I have had it now, I can pretty much say that I do not avoid restaurants as they are never adding extra damage (around 70 dB for a couple of hours should not add damage, not permanently at least).

I have had spikes due to: driving 8 hours with the window open (stupid), going to a party with custom silicon earplugs in (very loud party > earplugs don't protect from bass vibrations that go straight to the problem zone), etc...

But those spikes are always temporary.

After a restaurant I do not spike, as it is not loud enough.

I hope I don't have to mention that this doesn't mean I don't see why some of you would avoid it - I do appreciate everyone's choice and sympathise with your suffering obviously, as I suffer too, but I have learned that, for my mental state, it does not help to stay away from things that don't cause permanent damage, as this (for me) only adds to the mental burden of tinnitus as it being "the thing that has taken all these fun things away from me".

 

[BuzzyBee]

As earplugs mute too much, to the point that I cannot hear others speak, I usually make perfect-sized little balls of napkin-paper. They take away just enough noise and still lets me hear people talk. By now I know exactly the size I need to roll them. My right ear canal is slightly more narrow than my left one.

Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only one who did this. One time the waitress saw me doing it and turned the music down, so bonus. But it does help, and napkins are way more comfortable than actual ear plugs. You could also try cotton balls -- just something to take the edge off.

Also, a 68 to 73 decibel level is pretty quiet when it comes to restaurants.

 

[SonOfUhtred]

This is, of course, my personal opinion:

I have terrible tinnitus and hyperacusis (crickets and low drone). The low drone noise i have in my left ear reacts to water running, MacBook fan, crickets in summer, my own voice... brrrr - it's been horrible these past years.

In the 3.5 years that I have had it now, I can pretty much say that I do not avoid restaurants as they are never adding extra damage (around 70 dB for a couple of hours should not add damage, not permanently at least).

I have had spikes due to: driving 8 hours with the window open (stupid), going to a party with custom silicon earplugs in (very loud party > earplugs don't protect from bass vibrations that go straight to the problem zone), etc...

But those spikes are always temporary.

After a restaurant I do not spike, as it is not loud enough.

I hope I don't have to mention that this doesn't mean I don't see why some of you would avoid it - I do appreciate everyone's choice and sympathise with your suffering obviously, as I suffer too, but I have learned that, for my mental state, it does not help to stay away from things that don't cause permanent damage, as this (for me) only adds to the mental burden of tinnitus as it being "the thing that has taken all these fun things away from me".

I think a lot of it is that 'what if' mentality. What if a child screams in the restaurant. What if someone accidentally drops a load of crockery. What if an alarm goes off. Even the sound of 2 glasses colliding is uncomfortable... not fun.