I Can Live with the Noise. I Can't Live with the Fear or Stress.

[Red]

I complained about my Thanksgiving spike but I was already feeling better by Saturday. Sunday was a good day. I was excited to tell you all about Sunday and how uplifting a day it was for me. I planned on rushing home after work to post about it. (Hoping to post about some good news instead of doom and gloom for once)

What made Sunday so good was being able to sit at home and not care about my tinnitus. I didn't think of it but when I did I thought, "If I live the rest of my life this way, I could accept it. I can already feel my mind just not caring about this noise. I already know it is insignificant and with more time I can mostly forget it."

Naturally, Monday didn't turn out to be a very good day. And normally, when I have a spike I tend to blame myself. This one I do not. I was just at work, sitting in a quiet room, checking my tablet when a coworker snuck up on me and shouted in my ear.

Even when I'm doing nothing wrong, there is just going to be something, SOMETHING that gets in the way of me being able to live with tinnitus. Because the problem for me is not the noise. The problem for me is that at any point some unforeseen circumstance can make it permanently worse. I hate this fear. I hate my hyperacusis. I accept that I have permanent tinnitus but these things just get in the way. If I did not have these things I could be happy with tinnitus.

When others say it gets better, I believe them while also knowing that it can swing in the other direction as well. I believe they are right to be encouraging towards others but knowing some members have experienced permanent worsening of their tinnitus is part of the reason why I'm scared. These spikes put me in a state of terror and panic, always having to wait to see if my tinnitus will go back to baseline.

I have permanent noise in my ears? Fine. It's stability I crave… And not this fear of permanent worsening.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Wearing ear plugs at work might make it harder for you to get a permanent spike, but I understand where you are coming from, and feel the same way...

I am so sorry that your co-worker did this to you...

 

[fishbone]

I complained about my Thanksgiving spike but I was already feeling better by Saturday. Sunday was a good day. I was excited to tell you all about Sunday and how uplifting a day it was for me. I planned on rushing home after work to post about it. (Hoping to post about some good news instead of doom and gloom for once)

What made Sunday so good was being able to sit at home and not care about my tinnitus. I didn't think of it but when I did I thought, "If I live the rest of my life this way, I could accept it. I can already feel my mind just not caring about this noise. I already know it is insignificant and with more time I can mostly forget it."

Naturally, Monday didn't turn out to be a very good day. And normally, when I have a spike I tend to blame myself. This one I do not. I was just at work, sitting in a quiet room, checking my tablet when a coworker snuck up on me and shouted in my ear.

Even when I'm doing nothing wrong, there is just going to be something, SOMETHING that gets in the way of me being able to live with tinnitus. Because the problem for me is not the noise. The problem for me is that at any point some unforeseen circumstance can make it permanently worse. I hate this fear. I hate my hyperacusis. I accept that I have permanent tinnitus but these things just get in the way. If I did not have these things I could be happy with tinnitus.

When others say it gets better, I believe them while also knowing that it can swing in the other direction as well. I believe they are right to be encouraging towards others but knowing some members have experienced permanent worsening of their tinnitus is part of the reason why I'm scared. These spikes put me in a state of terror and panic, always having to wait to see if my tinnitus will go back to baseline.

I have permanent noise in my ears? Fine. It's stability I crave… And not this fear of permanent worsening.

I'll share something with you. I have had the most horrible spikes for 2 days past thanksgiving and it was brutal and my tinnitus is VERY loud and nasty as it is. so, I start to feel better (at least a little on sunday). Today i was cleaning my house and i accidentally kicked 6 small (very loud) glass plates. I was like great, my spikes are gone and now I kick these plates. I listen to nature sounds on my iphone and i was in bed a few hours ago and i was reaching for something and my hand accidentally pushed the volume to max. My ears felt very full and had pressure.... Things happen. My ears are still feeling full and i'm sure i'll have another lovely spike for my 2 episodes today. It is - what it is...we just have to push through it and move on...

Do not get scared, because of the unknown. Things, shall be ok....don't be hard on yourself

 

[JurgenG]

Do not fall down the path of overprotecting. You don't need plugs in a normal office. You just don't.
Your T will sound much louder as well. Just explain your problem to co-workers, and any adult will be careful around you. I've not had any bad experiences with people who know about my issue and I work with new ones on an almost daily basis.
But I've been overprotecting and this resulted in H, and now I can't stand a conversation with multiple people anymore, but I have 100% faith that this will be fixed soon once I start exposing myself more to safe sound.
What I will do is that I'll keep using plugs of everything above 80 dB, but now I am already using them at 70..

Loud things happening in short burtst are part of life, and are very very very unlikely to do any damage to your hearing. It might upset your T for a short while, but other than that you should be fine.
Whenever I feel scared of a sound I look at this: http://www.noisehelp.com/noise-dose.html
I then calculate how loud something could've been for the and think about how long it happened.
I've never had this cross the limit.

 

[Red]

Bumping this. Please, I am just beyond upset right now. I cannot deal with all these unpredictable loud noises that happen in seemingly innocent situations. Why am I so unlucky? Why do most people not talk about these encounters? Surely I am not alone?
Would love to hear how other T vets deal with this too.

 

[vermillion]

After developing era-pain from the past Wednesday, tinnitus (in it's current form) seems like less of an issue. Now don't misunderstand me. I have not yet, came in terms with my tinnitus. It just seems a bit lower volume-wise, maybe due to the fact of me being locked and isolated at my place with no noises during the past 4 days. So if my tinnitus was to stay in this level i suppose i could cope and live with it. I will never though be able to cope with the fear and anxiety of getting worse (based on the true fact that it indeed got worse with added auditory challenges), the isolation, the loss of productivity and eventually myself being more of a shadow rather then of a person.