I Don't Think I Can Do This, Survive This, It's Too Hard This Time

[Andersson]

Ps. not so positive post, so new people with T please avoid.

I got T in early 2012, and had a rough year before I managed to get a handle on my T, according to my notes from then I heard it over most things and could not mask it.
But I lived 3 years without any problems after that first year or so, even could be in a quite room without "hearing" it as far as I remember, and when I did something It was never on my mind at all.

It all seems so distant now, since November it increased for unknown reason, since then I cannot handle it at all.
I tried to keep doing what I did before, watch shows, listen to music, play videogames, go for walks, force myself to eat etc.
But everything is just doing nothing for me, I cannot get the focus away from the noise no matter how hard I try.
Tried most tips, Ilovemusic response etc as well, but It's just too hard.

I been getting dark thoughts last few weeks, I feel I am on the edge with this.
I try to force myself to think "I got over what I percieved as loud noise one time, that I heard over most things, I can do it again"
But somehow I don't believe it, I try to say to myself it was nothing before, now its something else and that will be impossible.
My brain is also in high alert mode all the time and pick up everything that I normally sort out (It's been getting worse the worse I feel)

To be honest, right now I don't feel like living, but I want do just not sure how it's possible.

 

[glynis]

Hi @Andersson ,
Tinnitus can be hard going and the emotions we get with it like Anxiety and panic.
I know you have read all the lovely posts on how people felt better and how in time you will cope better.
We know even with all the positive posts its the here and now you are struggling with and finding it hard to cope and we wish we had a magic wand to help.

All I can say for now is really look after your self,
Eat well,sleep well ,and get medication if needed with how you are feeling and talking therapy one to one.

We are here for you round the clock and the support.
Tinnitus talk is so valuable and can help you get through the day and know we totally understand how you feel .
Stay strong and life can only get better for you lots of love glynis

 

[Danny Boy]

Ps. not so positive post, so new people with T please avoid.

I got T in early 2012, and had a rough year before I managed to get a handle on my T, according to my notes from then I heard it over most things and could not mask it.
But I lived 3 years without any problems after that first year or so, even could be in a quite room without "hearing" it as far as I remember, and when I did something It was never on my mind at all.

It all seems so distant now, since November it increased for unknown reason, since then I cannot handle it at all.
I tried to keep doing what I did before, watch shows, listen to music, play videogames, go for walks, force myself to eat etc.
But everything is just doing nothing for me, I cannot get the focus away from the noise no matter how hard I try.
Tried most tips, Ilovemusic response etc as well, but It's just too hard.

I been getting dark thoughts last few weeks, I feel I am on the edge with this.
I try to force myself to think "I got over what I percieved as loud noise one time, that I heard over most things, I can do it again"
But somehow I don't believe it, I try to say to myself it was nothing before, now its something else and that will be impossible.
My brain is also in high alert mode all the time and pick up everything that I normally sort out (It's been getting worse the worse I feel)

To be honest, right now I don't feel like living, but I want do just not sure how it's possible.

http://www.medicaldaily.com/tinnitu...ntly-effect-constant-ringing-your-ears-291530

My advice is, go and speak to a doctor about this and possibly get prescribed something which can help raise your GABA levels, as worsen of tinnitus is linked to low gaba levels. If you want to try a supplement try taurine as it can naturally raise GABA levels. Also, I would recommend having someone to speak to about your feelings and how these emotions relate to your tinnitus and why you are projecting these dark thoughts.

Wish you all the best,

Danny Boy.

 

[Andersson]

Thanks for the support.
Will ask my doctor about GABA tomorrow.

I am so tired of this incredible volume ;(
And even worse is the morsecode metallic clinging that clings like 10-20 times a second almost all day, its at the same place as the high pitch in/close my left ear.
I always had this but it is so aggressive now its stupid, and did not really hear it most times before.
Would be so much easier if it was just a 1 tonal high pitch, this is driving me insane and sad.

 

[DudeMannDude]

Have you tried the back to silence method? Many people have had good luck with that. I hope your tinnitus calms back down and you can get your life back. It is possible to live with this noise, my grandfather has had it for as long as he can remember. I recently learned this around christmas time so I talked to him about it. According to him, the only thing he does not hear it over are his guns, and no, he does not use earplugs.

Life after tinnitus is possible and you have this entire community here to cheer you on.

 

[Aaron123]

morsecode metallic clinging that clings like 10-20 times a second almost all day

You might want to take a look at http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16514262

"Typewriter Tinnitus" seems to respond to carbamazepine. If you are going to see a doctor tomorrow, you might want to read up on carbamazepine and discuss it with him or her. There are also apparently surgical possibilities if the issue is vascular compression.

Here is some information though it refers to intermittent type-writer tinnitus:

A rare group of patients who derive significant benefit from carbamazepine are those who have intermittent "typewriter tinnitus", which is described as sounding like a typewriter, popcorn or ear clicking (44, 45). Radiological analysis showed evidence of vascular compression of the auditory nerve on the same side as the clicking. This suggests that there may be a tinnitus subgroup that can be classified on the basis of tinnitus perceptual characteristics, radiological features and response to drug treatment.

(from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3136369/)

 

[Andersson]

Seems my problems never stop.
I had a hard time from November until now, yesterday something happened to my "healthy" right ear.
My TV-tone which have been super low for 5 years is now extremely loud, as loud as those short " beeeeep" you get sometimes, and its constant.

I really don't know whats happening to me, and I only have suicide in my mind right now, I already struggled with the increase on my left side high pitched. Now my right side decides to be like this?
What if it does not go away, why did it act like this, I did nothing it just happened at night.

I really dont want to live right now..

 

[Ecip]

Have you ever responded positively to prednisone?
I've read an article about a German doctor who says that the majority of tinnitus that he seen was caused by inflammation, and apparently people using Wobenzym N are having good luck (if the is caused due to inflammation).

 

[billie48]

Seems my problems never stop.
I had a hard time from November until now, yesterday something happened to my "healthy" right ear.
My TV-tone which have been super low for 5 years is now extremely loud, as loud as those short " beeeeep" you get sometimes, and its constant.

I really don't know whats happening to me, and I only have suicide in my mind right now, I already struggled with the increase on my left side high pitched. Now my right side decides to be like this?
What if it does not go away, why did it act like this, I did nothing it just happened at night.

I really dont want to live right now..

Sorry about your suffering. I had similar feeling a few years back when initially I was overwhelmed by my ultra high pitch dog whistle T. And then as if not enough misery, severe hyperacusis began to inflict me more suffering as if I didn't have enough. It turned all normal sounds piercingly hurtful as if the ears getting drilled. Every sound seemed too loud and hurting. These two new, alien and tortuous monsters of my life are mutually exclusive, meaning if I try to protect my ears from H by using ear plugs, then T became so unbearably dominant without any outside sounds to help mask it, and vice versa with T. There was no lesser choice among them and more sufferings piled up on the old sufferings. Then on top of T & H, relentless anxiety and panic attacks overwhelmed my nerves. Being that I had prior condition of anxiety and panic disorder, the nerves simply had no chance against the trauma of T & H. The combined sufferings of T, H, A & P were too much to bear. The big 'S' word was constantly dangling in front of the tired and stressed out mind. I thought my future would be doomed and T & H would bring an end to my life.

But I have learned from CBT to challenge and counter these distorted thoughts. I have learned from others how to accept and flow with the reality of T in my life as a new normal. I have learned from a war veteran not to fight T but to accommodate it. Acceptance was tough. How can one accept such alien ultra high pitched sound? H too? However there was no choice. Suicide was ruled out after I checked youtube videos of people returning from near-death experience after trying to off themselves. So as tough as it was, I soldiered on. Given time and following some good strategies I learn from others and some from myself, I turnaround the suffering. Now I don't give a dime to T high or low. Couldn't do that before. It takes time, patience and some good strategies. It is possible to get well. Lots of people have done that and wrote their success stories. They may use different strategies. But I think the common of them all is just Mother Time. So give it enough time. Take good care & God bless.

 

[Heather415]

Im so sorry to hear about what a hard time your having, Andersson. I get into these real dark places too, especially when I feel so alone in my pain. However, your not alone, never forget that! When times get hard for me, I begin to do things to remind me I'm still a fighter, and life cant throw anything at me that I can't handle. IF YOU CAN, PLEASE MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TO YOUR DR! Even though you might already know what he/she has to say, for me its all about letting someone know how hard this is and seeking help, in other words, not giving up! Maybe a hearing aid or a special device is available, its never a dead end if you don't give up. Its important to enjoy the life you have, not try to obtain one you don't. Vitamin supplements are not always a cure all, but they do help you stay focused on your sense of self. Eat lots of green, leafy veggies and unprocessed foods..for me, its a real energy booster, I swear I can almost feel my body saying 'thank you' after I eat a real healthy meal. Plus, salty, sugary, starchy foods promote inflammation, which can be a direct aggravator of the T. Please keep me posted, Don't give up!