I Need Some Wedding Advice

[Widex]

Hi folks!

In 2 weeks I've got wedding. It's my girlfriend's sister wedding which I really can't dismiss :/. In the last few months I've not been doing well with my tinnitus (not at all!) and this wedding is increasing my fear and anxiety.

I would really like to hear some advice and tips from people with experience with tinnitus and weddings.

Thanks in advance,
Widex

 

[Elfin]

Hi @Widex I have been to around 6 or 7 weddings in the last year and even had my own.

For my own, I didn't have the music loud and when I did I made sure I was not on the dance floor. People know my issues with ears and my struggle and so they were fine with me checking out of the dancing early.

Other weddings are more of an issue as you cant control things as easily.

I have worn ER-25 earplugs when I have attended and, frankly, I haven't really danced at any of them. I have attended the meal, speeches and then if the music is in the same room, I then either leave or if the venue/wedding allows, I hang out in a quieter bit. On one of those weddings, I did watch the first dance (with plugs in), but the music was so loud that it spiked my tinnitus for around 3 months. I did not do this for any subsequent wedding.

My now wife understands my issue and whilst she can get frustrated that we do not dance, she understands. Occasionally, I have danced with her away from the speakers, but this was at more of an open air wedding.

I would recommend earplugs and I would recommend vacating the dance floor!

 

[Bill Bauer]

Keep in mind that earplugs can provide a false sense of security. see the first post on:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/learn-from-others-mistakes.29437/

 

[glynis]

@Widex,
Ring the venue up and see if they have a quiet area as not everyone likes the dance floor and would prefer to talk with family and friends.

They might have a garden area for hot weather to sit and chat.

Try look in to this as the wedding could be lovely for you and not having to miss it for the sake of not knowing or ringing up.

You are allowed to have some fun, just be sensible.

love glynis x

 

[Widex]

I just want to tell you that everything went ok and the wedding was fantastic. I wore musician's Alpine earplugs and I think they did a good job. I also got a hangover but that was nothing... I was very happy because of this lovely couple and because my tinnitus didn't spike. Thank you @glynis & co for your support, that means a lot! <3

 

[Amv]

Hello All!

One of my best friends is getting married in 1 month. I don't know what to do, really scared, but I also know he wants me to go the wedding, so I am in a paradox.

Any recommendations? What would you do?

Best regards and thank you all!

 

[Harley]

I don't think anyone here is qualified to give you a specific advice on this topic.
You know better than anyone what affects your Tinnitus (or not).

But number one rule is:
Do NOT let anyone guilt you into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.
You will be the one paying the heavy price, should something go wrong..not them.
Always keep that one in mind when making these kinds of decisions.

 

[linearb]

I've been to several weddings including my own since tinnitus worsening.

I used earplugs once or twice but mostly not necessary. Depends a lot on the wedding. Ours was ~100 people in a large outdoor space with a 300W PA. 400 people in an indoor space with a 1000w speaker stack is gonna be a lot different.

 

[coffee_girl]

Weddings are LOUD...be careful, i would avoid it if i can. I learned from my mistake...

 

[Jack Straw]

People here need to chillax a little.

Go to the wedding with ear plugs. If it gets uncomfortable during the reception/dinner, put in the ear plugs.

Once the music comes on, if it is too loud (you can measure it on your phone) you can always leave or step outside.

You can have tinnitus and still do things. Just be smart, use protection, and if it is too loud just leave.

 

[david c]

It does depend on the wedding - including the number of people invited, the venue, the music, but I would be careful. As other people have pointed out weddings can get really, really loud. I appreciate that you would wish to attend and maybe a compromise option would be to go to the ceremony itself but give the after-party which will more than probably be quite loud a miss.

 

[linearb]

in my experience, the screaming child that came well after the wedding, is much louder than our wedding was

 

[Amv]

Thank you all! What do you think about going to the dinner and then leaving once the dance and music starts? Best!

 

[Amv]

Hello All! So my friend called me today again and he really wants me to go to his wedding. He is getting married 4 hours away by plane from my current city, so i am thinking of two options:

1 - Do not go
2 - Go to the mass ceremony, take some of the lunch but leave after the dessert and let him know I will accompany him until the dessert due to my ears

What are your thoughts on this?

 

[Bill Bauer]

@Amv Personally, I would choose option 1.

 

[Jack Straw]

Hello All! So my friend called me today again and he really wants me to go to his wedding. He is getting married 4 hours away by plane from my current city, so i am thinking of two options:

1 - Do not go
2 - Go to the mass ceremony, take some of the lunch but leave after the dessert and let him know I will accompany him until the dessert due to my ears

What are your thoughts on this?

Obviously do option 2. Take ear plugs if it gets loud and put them in. If you are that scared, leave when the music comes on.

You can live your life with tinnitus. Just make adjustments.

 

[Daniel Lion]

Option 3.
Wait for the divorce, it may take some time... but your ears will be safe.

 

[Amv]

Hello all! I think I will fly the day after, let him know if he has time to have some coffee together, attend to the mass ceremony and then leave back home, so go the mass but not to the lunch and party.

I will keep you posted on how things evolve.

Thanks a lot and best regards!

 

[Amv]

Hello all, so my very close friend's wedding is this Saturday, it is 7 hours away from my home. I called to the wedding place and planner and they told me that they have changed the place to an indoor venue and the music will be very loud even during the dinner. I don't know what to do, but last Friday I was in a loud bar, everything is fine but I don't want to expose myself even more.

I am thinking of attending the mass (it will take 2 airplanes to get there) but then get back home.

What are your thoughts? I don't know what to do.

 

[Harley]

Hello all, so my very close friend's wedding is this Saturday, it is 7 hours away from my home. I called to the wedding place and planner and they told me that they have changed the place to an indoor venue and the music will be very loud even during the dinner. I don't know what to do, but last Friday I was in a loud bar, everything is fine but I don't want to expose myself even more.

I am thinking of attending the mass (it will take 2 airplanes to get there) but then get back home.

What are your thoughts? I don't know what to do.

You need to look out for yourself, as nobody else will.
Couple of months from now, most people won't even remember who was (or wasn't) at the wedding, as their lives will have different priorities by then.

But if your Tinnitus permanently increases due to attending this wedding, your life will be at a stand still, possibly for the rest of it.
That one is a no brainer to me.