I'm Isolated and Alone. I've Thought About a Helper Dog.

[Carlos]

Im an only child, raised by one parent, with a fraternity of friends. But friends are not aware of my situation, and the person they love and know, is ony half of who I am. Im afraid of losing the people that help keep me sane by telling them about my tinnitus. I basically receive no support from any other human being present in my life. I feel isolated and alone, I cry a lot, almost everyday. Before this illness, I would maybe cry once a year, but be courageous enough to prevail. Tinnitus is nothing like that, I try to prevail and surpass, then the noise changes tone or to a higher frequency, and im broken down all over again, its a cycle that doesnt stop. I've thought about getting a Helper Dog, a new family member I can love, trust, and do physical activities with, stay active. Does anyone have a helper dog, or a dog, that has truly made a difference when it comes to your tinnitus? Would anyone recommend it? My main concern is the dog barking, I dont know if I would be able to control that, Ive never had a dog before.

 

[hopeforhappiness]

Carlos, I'm sorry you're going through this. This is an unfortunate thing for all of us.

I would 100% recommend a dog. I got my dog as an emotional support animal, a suggestion from my psychiatrist 4 years ago. He's one of the best things that ever happened to me. It's unconditional love and support. It's a feeling of responsibility. As I'm typing this he is lying on my stomach. I had a bit of a nervous breakdown over my T the other night and was crying very hard. He came over to me and started nudging me and licking me. He sat with me and started licking the tears away. I don't care what people say, animals have an incredible sense of understanding when humans are upset.

It's obviously a responsibility but I couldn't recommend it enough. Getting a dog changed my life.

 

[hopeforhappiness]

Since onset of T, I've been hysterical many nights and having my dog next to me and falling asleep on his chest, focusing on his breathing and using that as white noise has been significantly calming.

 

[Dan Seg]

HopeforHappyness you are 100% RIGHT ! my dog allready saved my life ! I do have bad -T- , and I go nuts very often because of this --T--, specialy when I lay down and try to sleep ,
I ingest 2 X 25 mg Seroquel to sleep but it wake me up at 05oH with bad --T--,,,
only if I stand back up my --T-- will reduc e a bit, and I goto work ,,,
For some reason my --T-- is related to gravity , and --or my body position .

cheers,
DAN

 

[linearb]

Hi @Carlos

I'm sorry you feel so isolated, I can imagine how awful that must be.

I don't have dogs because we live in a small apartment, but I do have two cats which are a big comfort to me when I am alone.

I think that as long as you understand you are making a many-hours-a-week commitment to care for another being for the next 7-20 years of your life, that this is an excellent idea. It will be time consuming, and maybe that's exactly what you need.

I would also encourage you to think about your circle of friends, and figure out if maybe there is one person among them that you could trust with your current burdens. I think human contact is incredibly important. I would not be where I am today if I didn't have a couple friends that I am able to break down in tears in front of.

You might also be surprised what happens once you open up to someone about a great difficulty in your life; it sounds like your relationships so far haven't been such that people discuss the things that keep them up at night, but that doesn't mean that they do not also suffer from things, at least from time to time.

 

[Telis]

A dog is nice to have around, some breeds do not bark a lot, my Boston terrier almost never barks.

 

[billie48]

I used to have two cats, a white Persian and a Turkish Van. They were heavenly pets, offering companionship and tender moments of interactions. Such can distract the mind from focusing on the negatives or T. If you are lonely and in need of companionship or distraction from T, a pet will really help. Perhaps search for the type of dog which is not inclined to bark a lot if the barking is a concern, or that of a real tiny dog with weaker barking.

 

[daniel1111]

It sounds like a great idea!

I would love to get a dog, but I live alone and am at work all day.

 

[Carlos]

@hopeforhappiness Your response is extremely helpful. Since I was a kid, Ive always loved dogs and the dogs I come accross are always inclined to want my attention. It would be a true blessing to have such a loving animal. I am going to try my best to figure out what my options are and Im going to look into getting a dog. Im a very caring person and Im sure the dog would enjoy my company too. Thank you for your response

 

[Carlos]

@linearb Thank you for your response. I had a girlfriend 7 months ago, and she was the person I opened up to the most, I was open and honest with her before we got together, I told her my sitatuion, future struggles, but I assured her that I would always love her (my last relationship before her was 4 years before), she actually asked me to become her boyfriend, she said she loved me no matter my circumstance, I agreed. Down the road, things turned sour, and she broke things off with me after revealing that she cheated on me. Towards the very end, she destroyed my self esteem, and hurt me deeply after telling me that I exaggerate my ear problem, that there are people with worse conditions and Im being weak letting it affect me. Ever since, I've been afriad of telling my friends, in fear that they might feel anxiety towards my situation and not want to deal with my problems by just not dealing with me, or worse not believe me at all. I havent been able to date either, I dont think I can ever find someone that will accept me for who I am, with the broken side of me, so I hide it. From the moment I wake up to the time i sleep, tinnitus has me on alert all the time, it takes my energy and leaves me fatigured. I can't imagine anyone wanting to live their lives with me and my struggles. Im capable of unconditional love, but I doubt in my broken state, that anyone can ever truly accept me, and its not fair towards anyone else to have to deal with my condition, its a burden I feel I must carry alone. Its heavy.

 

[Carlos]

To live for myself, doesnt seem worth it anymore. I can have a million, even a billion dollars, and will always feel poor without my full health. No matter what I do, I cant feel whole again. Since I was diagnosed with tinnitus, I lost the feeling of happiness, I dont know what it feels like anymore after 7 years. Still, I float on into nothingness...

 

[glynis]

Hi Carlos,
A dog is a mans best friend and together you can get out doors and lovely walks and make lots of happy times together .
My dog sadly died but we have so many happy memories together and videos.
We have a lovely cat who's like my shadow and a cheeky little bunny who brighten up my life .

Tinnitus can make you down but remember always" we are in total control over what makes us happy and push hard not to let tinnitus take away your smile and laughter ......
your not alone ever with us lovely bunch on here
.....lots of love glynis

 

[another sean]

If a dog is too much responsibility, you could consider a cat. I had a dog and thought about getting another but my T keeps me indoors 90% of my life now so I wouldn't be able walk her. I have a cat, tho. My cat wont lick my tears away but when I lose it and hug her for support, she just purrs her but off and that puts a smile on my face every single time.

 

[IreneO]

My cat is snoring right next to me now. I'm thinking about how much she's helped me since she barged into my life a year ago, when I was in early habituation and about as low as I've ever been. I was staying late at work every day, terrified of going home. Suddenly I had to get home and look after a cat every day, and the house that loomed as this place of fear in my mind became, y'know, where the cat likes to hang out and leave hair over everything. She sleeps on my bed and now when I wake up at night it's because she's asking to go out, which is a huge improvement on being woken up by a blaring siren no-one else can hear. I don't think it's too far-fetched to say she saved me from despair ... And she's one reason why the idea of animal testing for tinnitus drugs makes me feel physically ill. Pets = awesome.

 

[fishbone]

Im an only child, raised by one parent, with a fraternity of friends. But friends are not aware of my situation, and the person they love and know, is ony half of who I am. Im afraid of losing the people that help keep me sane by telling them about my tinnitus. I basically receive no support from any other human being present in my life. I feel isolated and alone, I cry a lot, almost everyday. Before this illness, I would maybe cry once a year, but be courageous enough to prevail. Tinnitus is nothing like that, I try to prevail and surpass, then the noise changes tone or to a higher frequency, and im broken down all over again, its a cycle that doesnt stop. I've thought about getting a Helper Dog, a new family member I can love, trust, and do physical activities with, stay active. Does anyone have a helper dog, or a dog, that has truly made a difference when it comes to your tinnitus? Would anyone recommend it? My main concern is the dog barking, I dont know if I would be able to control that, Ive never had a dog before.

I will put it this way, I have 4 dogs right now and they are a lot of work. They are wonderful friends but require lots of attention and they can become a full-time chore. If you feel lonely, then a pet is a great idea, but just be prepared to make sure that both of you are doing ok.

I don't live in LA anymore but it would have been cool to have a pal that suffers from tinnitus and knew someone locally

Good luck!