Lynn... Yeah I'm a total mess right now too, though not primarily just from the T and H.
I don't know if this will help you but this is how it is for me and sounds like we have similar "hearing issues"...
I live on the side of a mountain overlooking a big valley so the nature element is gorgeous despite being only 10 minutes from town. It is very quiet. If I stay home alone, (a "Catch 22" as this has the downside of complete isolation), despite being horribly loud, my tinnitus slowly becomes sort of 'normal' as I have had it for so long that it is almost all I remember for 'silence'.
What mainly happens though is that due to the isolation from noisy humans I get zero "spiking" or "reactivity" from the hyperacusis/reactive tinnitus...or whatever we are calling it. After about three days here I don't particularly feel different any more and if I have enough books to read and things to do around the house, I am "OK". I don't notice my T that much though in a microsecond know it is there all the time.
But I have to eat, and get stuff, and deal with all the hassles of keeping legal and alive in America. Thus have to go to town a couple of times a week at least...especially to the library of course to get more books! Anyway, inevitably I run up against the need to use plugs somewhere. More often than not I get "spiked", and even though it is temporary like the fencing wire example, it sets my threshold back. Then everything gets more threatening regarding sound and I am more on alert, still trying to keep the plugs out. If I get zapped again or see DEFCON III approaching, I put my semi-protective plugs in ("Etymotic" or "Sonic"). I then hear my internal tinnitus louder and cut out the fully open ear canal, etc., etc. This amps up my sympathetic nervous system of course, which means I become more aware of my tinnitus, more on alert. And the vicious circle starts.
By the time I get home I am just so relieved...But I also feel handicapped...Because I AM handicapped! Which is depressing. And I get bummed out...Then I can quote you:
I don't have typical T and my ears are a mess. Don't want to overprotect but steady noise makes me worse..what do I do?! Losing hope.
Sigh!...Yeah I really get it Lynn. But it's a real bugger, as like I said, after a few days at home I feel OK again - more or less, but often very, very lonely. However, you know, I prefer that to feeling handicapped and hopeless.
So what's my message? I'm not sure really, but perhaps to protect your ears more than much of what is recommended on this site. Stay home. Be quiet. Try the IWLM cotton in the ears for 6 weeks. Come hiking in the Sierra's with me in August...it is so beautiful and so quiet!
...Your Profile says very little but I believe you are married, with kids I think, so maybe the backpacking idea would not go down well. But you
could find something like that in Canada for sure.
Sheeesh...Like I said many months ago, folks like us really do need a CURE. The standard 'enchilada' does not fit our box at all.
Take very gentle care... Zimichael