Just Wanted to Check in, Before I Go Again

[Andersson]

Hi.

Been trying to stay off the forums, for my own good.
Still have a bad habit of checking in which tbh never makes me feel good, there is just to much pain in the threads and reading success stories can be good, but most got milder versions of tinnitus which makes me feel even worse. I could easy adjust to a mild tinnitus.
I feel for the people struggling with even mild tinnitus that they can mask during the day time, but it makes me feel so much worse reading it, having severe tinnitus.

Anyway, I am off all meds, benzos and AD, I will do this without getting addicted to Benzos or throwing AD in my body.
My new sound on right side I got have gotten slightly lower but my left is still the worst thing since the Increase in november. It still is louder then anything except when I take a shower, that is the only thing that can mask it a bit.

Most days are still a big struggle, It's on my mind 24/7 still, but I tried to go back and do some things.
I started playing games with my friends online again, I started working out 2 times a week which I have not done in over a year.
I started trying to take care of my health again a bit better, with eating etc.
Started listening to music (which I also stopped because the sound is louder then anything.
I went to the movies, to conquer my fear. First had foam plugs 33NNR, but it was to much.
So put in my 18dB music plugs and it went ok, could not really enjoy the movie because of the fear and the even worse tinnitus from the plugs, but I felt a bit better to conquer it after.

I am moving in with a friend in a 4bedroom apartment in April, from living in a 1 bedroom myself 6 year that I hated.
Will get a cat when I move as well to get some more company, so stressing about all that as well, but I think it will be fun to not live by myself, and in a bigger place with more space

All this is just forced and I don't really enjoy any of it that much, but fake it till you make it.

There are many members here that I respect like @glynis , @Cheza , @AnxiousJon , @billie48. All of you are wonderful people.

I will try and limit my time on TT, for my own good, if I get to a good place again with my even worse tinnitus then I will make sure to make a post to help the people with severe tinnitus or the ones that got a big increase

Enjoy the rest of the weekend and take care all of you.

 

[barnacle]

Hi.

Been trying to stay off the forums, for my own good.
Still have a bad habit of checking in which tbh never makes me feel good, there is just to much pain in the threads and reading success stories can be good, but most got milder versions of tinnitus which makes me feel even worse. I could easy adjust to a mild tinnitus.
I feel for the people struggling with even mild tinnitus that they can mask during the day time, but it makes me feel so much worse reading it, having severe tinnitus.

Anyway, I am off all meds, benzos and AD, I will do this without getting addicted to Benzos or throwing AD in my body.
My new sound on right side I got have gotten slightly lower but my left is still the worst thing since the Increase in november. It still is louder then anything except when I take a shower, that is the only thing that can mask it a bit.

Most days are still a big struggle, It's on my mind 24/7 still, but I tried to go back and do some things.
I started playing games with my friends online again, I started working out 2 times a week which I have not done in over a year.
I started trying to take care of my health again a bit better, with eating etc.
Started listening to music (which I also stopped because the sound is louder then anything.
I went to the movies, to conquer my fear. First had foam plugs 33NNR, but it was to much.
So put in my 18dB music plugs and it went ok, could not really enjoy the movie because of the fear and the even worse tinnitus from the plugs, but I felt a bit better to conquer it after.

I am moving in with a friend in a 4bedroom apartment in April, from living in a 1 bedroom myself 6 year that I hated.
Will get a cat when I move as well to get some more company, so stressing about all that as well, but I think it will be fun to not live by myself, and in a bigger place with more space

All this is just forced and I don't really enjoy any of it that much, but fake it till you make it.

There are many members here that I respect like @glynis , @Cheza , @AnxiousJon , @billie48. All of you are wonderful people.

I will try and limit my time on TT, for my own good, if I get to a good place again with my even worse tinnitus then I will make sure to make a post to help the people with severe tinnitus or the ones that got a big increase

Enjoy the rest of the weekend and take care all of you.

I'm new to TT and quite new to T but having read your post I just wanted to wish you luck. I too find that I dont enjoy doing many of the things that I use to love. But, like you suggest, I think it is worth doing these things anyhow and eventually we hopefully enjoy them again. Moving in with a friend can be great and mark a fresh start. So good luck and yes maybe dont spend too much time on TT for awhile. The people are great but I often come away feelinfg more worried than before.

 

[Cheza]

All this is just forced and I don't really enjoy any of it that much, but fake it till you make it.

That's a great approach, because you'll be creating new grooves in your neural highway. There's a lot of science behind why it can work. Just stick with it, that's the key.

Try audio notch therapy. I've been using it super diligently the last few days, 8 to 10 hours a day. My choice is violet noise because white noise makes my T worse. My frequency is around 7400 kHz. After the second day, I noticed that the T seems to be softer in the morning and for most of the day. The tinnitus does "fight to be heard" while I'm doing the audio notch therapy, so it isn't easy but I'm going to stay with it for a month minimum.

Unfortunately, one strange side effect is that I'm waking up 2 or 3 times at night with horrid metallic sounds coming in wave after wave in my head. I tell myself, "This will subside, just ride it out," and after a few minutes it does subside. But while it's going on, jeez, it's hard to handle at 2:30 in the morning.

There's an audio notch YouTube video with really good instructions. When creating your audio notch file, look for Notch Filter in the effects, because the one he mentions doesn't exist in the new version of Audacity. For violet noise, you'll need to download the violet noise video on YouTube as an MP3 and import into Audacity. The Audacity program offers pink, white, and brown noise.

Here's a link to the audio notch YouTube channel where you can select which video you want to start watching first.

Sorry to see you go, but totally understand your reasons for it. Wishing you the best of luck and may your tinnitus fade away or at least you find a way to co-exist with it peacefully. And definitely congrats on getting a kitty to share your life. It's amazing how much comfort you can find with an animal companion, plus it gives you a very good reason to get up and keep going every day.

 

[AnxiousJon]

You should change your online mood to "bad ass". So proud of you.

Don't feel guilty about staying away from the forum. I'm happy to see you fly away.

I know cats have been great for @linearb and @Richard zurowski.
Living with other people will be great for you as well.

I wish my advice had been more effective, instead of you puting you through more trials, but I think you can see now that your own inuition and advice is the better than any other man.

Thank you for coming here with your problems and leaving here stronger.

 

[glynis]

Good luck my friend and all my love goes with you...glynis

 

[Richard zurowski]

@Andersson . Glad that you are getting a cat. They are a great company to be with. When I first got tinnitus I got a cat. I laid in bed for days on end ,she new something was wrong with me , a cat instinct I'd say. Anyway she wouldn't leave my side she being there got me through the bad times. I still have loud tinnitus but I won't let it get the better of me live your life and enjoy your new friend.