Listening to Your Tinnitus

[VincentWinters]

This might sound odd, but after spending my first day back at work with tinnitus (thank fk I made it, my anxiety spikes were bad but I didn't have to reach for the valium), It's kind of calming to hear my T after work.

Let me explain, I've had tinnitus for just under two weeks now and I can't stand it, I feel like that noise is literally dissolving me, rendering me a bubbling pool of anxiety. I can barely concentrate with it. But after spending the day trying to dodge (fairly successfully as work is noisier then my T it seems) listening to it, eventually its kind of just a relief to come home and surrender to it - for a bit. I'm just sick of worrying about hearing it, as if holding out with sound masking long enough will make it cease.

As I'm listening to the pitch I'm picturing it take a physical form in my mind, like a white hot laser beam. I'm picking it up and examining it like strange pebble I'd find on a beach. I can't escape it because its closer to me then my own heartbeat. It feels loud it's relentless, frightening even. I just feel like I can't be afraid of it anymore, not if I ever want to habituate to it. I don't I want to torture my self for too long by listening to it, but I can't help but think if i can over come my intense fear/dislike of it then, then it'll some how lose its power.

I'm pretty sure, that it's my anxiety and depression that are the real enemies here.

What are other people's thoughts on detachedly trying to listen to their tinnitus?

 

[Luman]

I've only had it for a couple of months. It's impossible not to listen to it sometimes, but I've found that focusing on it too much is not a good idea. It was a novelty for me at first, but that didn't last very long. You are on the right track about it losing it's power, although I'm quite a ways off from arriving at that milestone in reality. Many millions of people live with it, and get along very well, so I believe habituation does work for the majority of people. Just be patient, you may find it getting better soon. You can modify your disturbing thoughts, such as, "I can't stand it", with a different thought, such as, "This is difficult, and I'm upset, but I can handle it". Any good CBT book should be able to help with developing better habits of reacting to it. There's also literally a ton of good advice on this site.

 

[Mettafort]

This might sound odd, but after spending my first day back at work with tinnitus (thank fk I made it, my anxiety spikes were bad but I didn't have to reach for the valium), It's kind of calming to hear my T after work.

Let me explain, I've had tinnitus for just under two weeks now and I can't stand it, I feel like that noise is literally dissolving me, rendering me a bubbling pool of anxiety. I can barely concentrate with it. But after spending the day trying to dodge (fairly successfully as work is noisier then my T it seems) listening to it, eventually its kind of just a relief to come home and surrender to it - for a bit. I'm just sick of worrying about hearing it, as if holding out with sound masking long enough will make it cease.

As I'm listening to the pitch I'm picturing it take a physical form in my mind, like a white hot laser beam. I'm picking it up and examining it like strange pebble I'd find on a beach. I can't escape it because its closer to me then my own heartbeat. It feels loud it's relentless, frightening even. I just feel like I can't be afraid of it anymore, not if I ever want to habituate to it. I don't I want to torture my self for too long by listening to it, but I can't help but think if i can over come my intense fear/dislike of it then, then it'll some how lose its power.

I'm pretty sure, that it's my anxiety and depression that are the real enemies here.

What are other people's thoughts on detachedly trying to listen to their tinnitus?

Good one. Try to do this - plan a 5-10 minute meditation every day. The sole purpose of that meditation is to totally be present for your T. Spend those minutes breathing it in, recognizing its a part of you - its not something "out there", its actually a part of your human machine that has developed a new vibration after some of the wear and tear. Welcome it. Be at peace with it.

When the 5-10 minutes is over, spend the rest of your time getting on with life. I did this practice for 2 weeks, and I believe I developed a very different relationship to my T that might not well be common here. But the welcoming and accepting helps the limbic system see this noise is not a threat. Thats where anxiety comes from too, so it is a huge help to do this practice.

Incidentally I too listen to my tinnitus. I think as long as its done from a positive place, the outcome is more favorable. So if you are hoping to habituate, from the conversations I have had with professionals and my own experience, as short as it may be for some, will come from managing the negative thoughts about the sounds and experience.

Thats my thoughts only though, but personally I think that "I just feel like I can't be afraid of it anymore, not if I ever want to habituate to it" is the gateway to levelling up your progress with T.

Good luck.

mf.