If you all have seen my recent post, I've acquired reactive T. After being habituated for a year and a half now to my hissing tone, I've gone back to my dark days. A month and a half ago I woke up to this mild high pitched sound that reacted to stuff like running water and ceiling fans and such.
But never did I imagine I would develop into what I have now. I keep acquiring new tones. All reactive. I've gotten a hum. Some crickets. And just last night, I acquired a vibrating turbine type of noise. Like... it sounds like an idle car is sitting outside my house. This is the one that really bothers me. I was sleeping well for the most part the past month. But for the past 5 days, ever since getting my humming tone, I been sleeping like crap lately. I don't sleep until like 5 Am. I sleep until 9-10. But now it's got worse with this vibrating noise. I just hate how real it sounds. Doesn't feel in my head or ears, it sounds like it's outside of me. Have bad anxiety right now!
I'm so damn scared of my future guys. I'm afraid it's only going to worse and worse and eventually I'm going to be suicidal. I'm not sure what's making it worse. Maybe it's my constant anxiety of new tones that actually giving me new tones. I'm not sure.
All I know is that I'm extremely scared. I have no motivation to do anything. I began working it months ago. Worked out 3-4 times a week and now I only work out once every 7-10 days because I just cannot bring myself to do so.
What am I going to do? I expect to be getting new tones in the future seeing as how I can't stop getting any.
But never did I imagine I would develop into what I have now. I keep acquiring new tones. All reactive. I've gotten a hum. Some crickets. And just last night, I acquired a vibrating turbine type of noise. Like... it sounds like an idle car is sitting outside my house. This is the one that really bothers me. I was sleeping well for the most part the past month. But for the past 5 days, ever since getting my humming tone, I been sleeping like crap lately. I don't sleep until like 5 Am. I sleep until 9-10. But now it's got worse with this vibrating noise. I just hate how real it sounds. Doesn't feel in my head or ears, it sounds like it's outside of me. Have bad anxiety right now!
I'm so damn scared of my future guys. I'm afraid it's only going to worse and worse and eventually I'm going to be suicidal. I'm not sure what's making it worse. Maybe it's my constant anxiety of new tones that actually giving me new tones. I'm not sure.
All I know is that I'm extremely scared. I have no motivation to do anything. I began working it months ago. Worked out 3-4 times a week and now I only work out once every 7-10 days because I just cannot bring myself to do so.
What am I going to do? I expect to be getting new tones in the future seeing as how I can't stop getting any.