Missing Out on So Much of My Youth

[orbiter12]

I hate having this so young man.

All my friends are doing activities and loving life, and so was I until March.

Recently they've all just got back from Magaluf, currently enjoying boardmasters festival in Newquay ( I went last year and It was amazing). Planing a trip to Amsterdam for Christmas and attending a few upcoming raves, going on a night out to a city for my friends 21st.

I've lost all of that.

I know people say there's more to live that partying, but it's not all partying. It's memories, holidays and experiences I'm missing out on with all my friends!

When you're young and all your friends are doing this stuff that you used to enjoyed, when it gets taken away it sucks.

Yes there's more to life than partying but that's something I enjoyed and what most people my age are doing. I can't even make memories with friends.

How am I even supposed to take a girl out for a drink when I get too anxious around loud places because of all the spikes I've had in the past, or have to remind everybody not to slam the car door, not to turn the Music up in the car, how I can't attend a work event in a busy restaurant because I'm scared of making it worse (this isn't just anxiety either, going to these places does make it worse for me)

I can't even take an antidepressant because of all the horror stories of people getting permanent spikes (why risk it).

I know that there isn't any good age to get tinnitus but when you're young it takes away a lot more from you.

 

[fishbone]

I hate having this so young man.

All my friends are doing activities and loving life, and so was I until March.

Recently they've all just got back from Magaluf, currently enjoying boardmasters festival in Newquay ( I went last year and It was amazing). Planing a trip to Amsterdam for Christmas and attending a few upcoming raves, going on a night out to a city for my friends 21st.

I've lost all of that.

I know people say there's more to live that partying, but it's not all partying. It's memories, holidays and experiences I'm missing out on with all my friends!

When you're young and all your friends are doing this stuff that you used to enjoyed, when it gets taken away it sucks.

Yes there's more to life than partying but that's something I enjoyed and what most people my age are doing. I can't even make memories with friends.

How am I even supposed to take a girl out for a drink when I get too anxious around loud places because of all the spikes I've had in the past, or have to remind everybody not to slam the car door, not to turn the Music up in the car, how I can't attend a work event in a busy restaurant because I'm scared of making it worse (this isn't just anxiety either, going to these places does make it worse for me)

I can't even take an antidepressant because of all the horror stories of people getting permanent spikes (why risk it).

I know that there isn't any good age to get tinnitus but when you're young it takes away a lot more from you.

Let me chime in if i may -

I got tinnitus at a young age. It started as a low his/old tv tone that was not all that noticeable. It was still there but not fully noticeable. I did live my life and i did do things my friends did. Yes, I experienced everything...but my tinnitus is WAY WAY worst in both ears and my hearing is worst as well....

If I knew better and this board was around 20-30 years ago, i would have done, NON of those things and still would have wanted to keep my low tone/barely noticeable tinnitus...compared to the HIGH pitched/electric generator that screams in my head 2 4 7....

I didn't know any better and i deal with this demon 2 4 7....

I get what you are saying, i do. Understand the impact of LOUD noise/places and how it can make tinnitus worst....

 

[Bobbie7]

I hate having this so young man.

All my friends are doing activities and loving life, and so was I until March.

Recently they've all just got back from Magaluf, currently enjoying boardmasters festival in Newquay ( I went last year and It was amazing). Planing a trip to Amsterdam for Christmas and attending a few upcoming raves, going on a night out to a city for my friends 21st.

I've lost all of that.

I know people say there's more to live that partying, but it's not all partying. It's memories, holidays and experiences I'm missing out on with all my friends!

When you're young and all your friends are doing this stuff that you used to enjoyed, when it gets taken away it sucks.

Yes there's more to life than partying but that's something I enjoyed and what most people my age are doing. I can't even make memories with friends.

How am I even supposed to take a girl out for a drink when I get too anxious around loud places because of all the spikes I've had in the past, or have to remind everybody not to slam the car door, not to turn the Music up in the car, how I can't attend a work event in a busy restaurant because I'm scared of making it worse (this isn't just anxiety either, going to these places does make it worse for me)

I can't even take an antidepressant because of all the horror stories of people getting permanent spikes (why risk it).

I know that there isn't any good age to get tinnitus but when you're young it takes away a lot more from you

Hi @orbiter12 - You are so young.. not yet 21 years old so please do not be disheartened. First of all, you don't say where you stand with doctors' appointments. Have you seen your GP and has he referred you to an ENT? If so, what did he/she tell you after an examination and any tests which were performed?

There is no need for you to cancel your plans. Experiencing enjoyment does not cease because you have tinnitus. Of course, you are having discomfort and you feel you can not place yourself in the same situations as before but your discouragement will be altered as you learn that there are many young people on this forum such as you who are doing well and continuing to enjoy life even though they have had to alter their lifestyle a bit.

Many members on the forum have been placed on antidepressants without experiencing any negative effects so I suggest you speak with your therapist about starting such a regimen. Perhaps it is your fear of these which is also increasing your anxiety. There are classes of antidepressants which can be beneficial when someone is experiencing depression. You need an evaluation to see what is needed in your case.

As for your concern that you can not take a young lady for a drink, this is not the only way to get to know someone. There must be some quiet and cozy places you can go to. Surely there are other areas of entertainment which are not too noisy and if need be, you can casually explain that you are sensitive to noise and near to wear earplugs at times. If someone likes you @orbiter12 - they will surely not be put off by your explanation about avoiding very loud music/restaurants/bars, etc. Having tinnitus is not an impairment to living a fulfilling life. Many members your age are experiencing what you are and have reached a point of habituation if the tinnitus should not lessen or abate. I hope you hear from others around your age who will point this out.

I hope you will discuss all concerns with your therapist and consult an ENT for advisement. Please keep us posted. Take care and be well.

Best wishes,
Barbara

 

[Sean]

I hate having this so young man.

All my friends are doing activities and loving life, and so was I until March.

Recently they've all just got back from Magaluf, currently enjoying boardmasters festival in Newquay ( I went last year and It was amazing). Planing a trip to Amsterdam for Christmas and attending a few upcoming raves, going on a night out to a city for my friends 21st.

I've lost all of that.

I know people say there's more to live that partying, but it's not all partying. It's memories, holidays and experiences I'm missing out on with all my friends!

When you're young and all your friends are doing this stuff that you used to enjoyed, when it gets taken away it sucks.

Yes there's more to life than partying but that's something I enjoyed and what most people my age are doing. I can't even make memories with friends.

How am I even supposed to take a girl out for a drink when I get too anxious around loud places because of all the spikes I've had in the past, or have to remind everybody not to slam the car door, not to turn the Music up in the car, how I can't attend a work event in a busy restaurant because I'm scared of making it worse (this isn't just anxiety either, going to these places does make it worse for me)

I can't even take an antidepressant because of all the horror stories of people getting permanent spikes (why risk it).

I know that there isn't any good age to get tinnitus but when you're young it takes away a lot more from you.

@orbiter12 , I feel your pain and i cant even imagine having this at young age. I know its tough and you will miss out on many things in life. if it makes you feel better there are worst thing people are going through in life..physical disability..mental retardation etc. Please try to focus on things you can do and enjoy. You can still take a girl out to nice places for dinner..take her for long drive etc.
I am lot older than you and it still bother me that i have to give up loud events, but i am not very outgoing person so its not a very big sacrifice for me.
If possible , can you see a therapist? somes times talk therapy makes very big difference .
I personally would not go to any raves or concerts. It has made T worst for many many people and i would not take any chance. i wish you best of luck.

 

[robertmaverick]

Hi @orbiter12,

I am sorry to read what you are going through, I can much relate to your story. When I got tinnitus back in 2012, I was 18 years old. The first few months were terrible, with immense anxiety to worsen my tinnitus. After a while, though, I decided - like you - that I want to live my life and I slowly went back to bars/movies/concerts. To prevent further damage I bought custom molded earplugs with a 25dB sound filter, I find them wonderful. To this day I still go to bars and concerts, but I try to be mindful about what I'm doing. I make sure that I am not standing near any speakers and I take frequent breaks, to give my ears a rest.

As far as I know the opinion on still going to noisy places on this forum are pretty divided, but I believe that each and everyone has to figure this out for him/herself. Buy decent hearing protection and go to a bar. Maybe just by yourself the first time, see how it goes. Before you know it, you've your confidence back and you can live your life again - safely of course.

Tinnitus need not be the end of your life. If you have any questions, ask me!

-- Robert

 

[orbiter12]

Let me chime in if i may -

I got tinnitus at a young age. It started as a low his/old tv tone that was not all that noticeable. It was still there but not fully noticeable. I did live my life and i did do things my friends did. Yes, I experienced everything...but my tinnitus is WAY WAY worst in both ears and my hearing is worst as well....

If I knew better and this board was around 20-30 years ago, i would have done, NON of those things and still would have wanted to keep my low tone/barely noticeable tinnitus...compared to the HIGH pitched/electric generator that screams in my head 2 4 7....

I didn't know any better and i deal with this demon 2 4 7....

I get what you are saying, i do. Understand the impact of LOUD noise/places and how it can make tinnitus worst....

Let me chime in if i may -

I got tinnitus at a young age. It started as a low his/old tv tone that was not all that noticeable. It was still there but not fully noticeable. I did live my life and i did do things my friends did. Yes, I experienced everything...but my tinnitus is WAY WAY worst in both ears and my hearing is worst as well....

If I knew better and this board was around 20-30 years ago, i would have done, NON of those things and still would have wanted to keep my low tone/barely noticeable tinnitus...compared to the HIGH pitched/electric generator that screams in my head 2 4 7....

I didn't know any better and i deal with this demon 2 4 7....

I get what you are saying, i do. Understand the impact of LOUD noise/places and how it can make tinnitus worst....

That's exactly why I'm not going to all these events and places, but my T is so loud and gotten worse regardless.

 

[orbiter12]

Hi @orbiter12,

I am sorry to read what you are going through, I can much relate to your story. When I got tinnitus back in 2012, I was 18 years old. The first few months were terrible, with immense anxiety to worsen my tinnitus. After a while, though, I decided - like you - that I want to live my life and I slowly went back to bars/movies/concerts. To prevent further damage I bought custom molded earplugs with a 25dB sound filter, I find them wonderful. To this day I still go to bars and concerts, but I try to be mindful about what I'm doing. I make sure that I am not standing near any speakers and I take frequent breaks, to give my ears a rest.

As far as I know the opinion on still going to noisy places on this forum are pretty divided, but I believe that each and everyone has to figure this out for him/herself. Buy decent hearing protection and go to a bar. Maybe just by yourself the first time, see how it goes. Before you know it, you've your confidence back and you can live your life again - safely of course.

Tinnitus need not be the end of your life. If you have any questions, ask me!

-- Robert

im looking at gettting some custom earplugs, I use mostly foam earplugs in pubs etc but they make you feel a bit secluded and are uncomfortable.

Has your T gotten worse or better over the years

 

[orbiter12]

@orbiter12 , I feel your pain and i cant even imagine having this at young age. I know its tough and you will miss out on many things in life. if it makes you feel better there are worst thing people are going through in life..physical disability..mental retardation etc. Please try to focus on things you can do and enjoy. You can still take a girl out to nice places for dinner..take her for long drive etc.
I am lot older than you and it still bother me that i have to give up loud events, but i am not very outgoing person so its not a very big sacrifice for me.
If possible , can you see a therapist? somes times talk therapy makes very big difference .
I personally would not go to any raves or concerts. It has made T worst for many many people and i would not take any chance. i wish you best of luck.

Although I'm thankful for everything I do have (family, friends, job,health) I miss everything I used to have and hate thinking about everything im going to miss.

 

[orbiter12]

Hi @orbiter12 - You are so young.. not yet 21 years old so please do not be disheartened. First of all, you don't say where you stand with doctors' appointments. Have you seen your GP and has he referred you to an ENT? If so, what did he/she tell you after an examination and any tests which were performed?

There is no need for you to cancel your plans. Experiencing enjoyment does not cease because you have tinnitus. Of course, you are having discomfort and you feel you can not place yourself in the same situations as before but your discouragement will be altered as you learn that there are many young people on this forum such as you who are doing well and continuing to enjoy life even though they have had to alter their lifestyle a bit.

Many members on the forum have been placed on antidepressants without experiencing any negative effects so I suggest you speak with your therapist about starting such a regimen. Perhaps it is your fear of these which is also increasing your anxiety. There are classes of antidepressants which can be beneficial when someone is experiencing depression. You need an evaluation to see what is needed in your case.

As for your concern that you can not take a young lady for a drink, this is not the only way to get to know someone. There must be some quiet and cozy places you can go to. Surely there are other areas of entertainment which are not too noisy and if need be, you can casually explain that you are sensitive to noise and near to wear earplugs at times. If someone likes you @orbiter12 - they will surely not be put off by your explanation about avoiding very loud music/restaurants/bars, etc. Having tinnitus is not an impairment to living a fulfilling life. Many members your age are experiencing what you are and have reached a point of habituation if the tinnitus should not lessen or abate. I hope you hear from others around your age who will point this out.

I hope you will discuss all concerns with your therapist and consult an ENT for advisement. Please keep us posted. Take care and be well.

Best wishes,
Barbara

Thank you for your amazing response. I'm being seen at ENT through the NHS and have my first session with a hearing therapist next week. I'm also starting CBT soon.

 

[Bobbie7]

Thank you for your amazing response. I'm being seen at ENT through the NHS and have my first session with a hearing therapist next week. I'm also starting CBT soon.

Hi again @orbiter12 - That you are proceeding in this manner is excellent! This is an important first step and I am hopeful these two professionals will be able to help you and ease your extreme anxiety and your outlook will become more optimistic.

Good luck with your appointments @orbiter12 and please keep us updated and let us know how you are feeling.

Sending positive thoughts your way,
Barbara

 

[robertmaverick]

im looking at gettting some custom earplugs, I use mostly foam earplugs in pubs etc but they make you feel a bit secluded and are uncomfortable.

Has your T gotten worse or better over the years

I've had a set-back last may, but that was due to lots of stress and anxiety and its gradually going down to what it used to be. But overall due to noise exposure, no, my tinnitus didn't get worse.

 

[Bill Bauer]

it's not all partying. It's memories, holidays and experiences I'm missing out on with all my friends!

If you focus on your studies and on your career, then chances are that beginning at around 35-40, you will be able to have more memories, go on more holidays, and enjoy more experiences compared to people who haven't focused on their education and career when they were younger.