Good Afternoon,
My name is Kenneth.
I do not usually join forums, but I wanted to document where I am for myself and, hopefully, for others going through similar circumstances. I am looking for positivity, but you do not need to sugarcoat anything. I only ask that you please avoid sharing horror stories, as I have already read too many of them.
This journey began on December 28th, just after Christmas. I am 30 years old and live on the East Coast of Canada.
Recently, I developed eye floaters, which have been very distressing, especially after a dismissive optometrist appointment earlier in the month. In my frustration, I began researching surgery for floaters. While doing so, I had a sudden panic attack. Almost at the same time, the tinnitus I have had for years, which I used to only hear in quiet places like the bathroom with the door closed or during power outages, suddenly became much louder as if a switch had been flipped.
I panicked, and that marked the beginning of the past three or so weeks.
Since then, I have read countless posts, treatments, success stories, and setbacks. Unfortunately, this has driven me deeper into despair rather than providing the relief I was hoping for.
My tinnitus has two distinct tones. One is a steady tone that is probably in the 8000 to 9000 Hz range. The other is a pulsing tone that sounds like Morse code, though it is not related to my heart rate, and it is around 12000 Hz.
There is more to the timeline, as I have involved a few doctors and had some better moments amidst the terror. However, I will stop here for now, as this is just an introduction. I will share more details about my experience and what I have been through in a future post.
One thing that has helped me is using an AI chat tool to log my thoughts and calm me during moments of extreme panic. To clarify, the timeline I mentioned is based on those logs. I am not sure if referencing the AI tool is allowed here, but I thought I would mention it in case it helps others understand where I am.
I have had moments where it drops to a 4 or 5, possibly even lower when I first wake up in the morning.
I have struggled with a lot of guilt, wondering if I caused this myself. I used a blow dryer frequently to keep warm, and I worried that it might have been the cause. However, I clearly remember it becoming louder during the panic attack, almost like I lost my lifelong ability to ignore it.
I just feel so guilty and depressed. It has been hard on my fiancée, and she gets frustrated when I tell her I am really struggling and start to shut down.
The only relief I have found is through distractions like phone games and sleep. I need something to take my mind off it.
Today, I had an audiologist appointment. She was very kind and supportive. She told me that even though tinnitus is all in my head, it is not something I am making up. It is real, and people do not understand how distracting it can be. She also said I have excellent hearing with no issues at all, and my ear pressure is perfect.
She gave me another, faster ENT referral just to ensure my sinuses are fine. She also advised against considering TRT, the therapy they offer at her clinic, at this stage. She said it is too early for that and suggested that sound apps and sound therapy might be just as effective in my case for now.
Thank you for reading. I hope I can find some peace again.
My name is Kenneth.
I do not usually join forums, but I wanted to document where I am for myself and, hopefully, for others going through similar circumstances. I am looking for positivity, but you do not need to sugarcoat anything. I only ask that you please avoid sharing horror stories, as I have already read too many of them.
This journey began on December 28th, just after Christmas. I am 30 years old and live on the East Coast of Canada.
Recently, I developed eye floaters, which have been very distressing, especially after a dismissive optometrist appointment earlier in the month. In my frustration, I began researching surgery for floaters. While doing so, I had a sudden panic attack. Almost at the same time, the tinnitus I have had for years, which I used to only hear in quiet places like the bathroom with the door closed or during power outages, suddenly became much louder as if a switch had been flipped.
I panicked, and that marked the beginning of the past three or so weeks.
Since then, I have read countless posts, treatments, success stories, and setbacks. Unfortunately, this has driven me deeper into despair rather than providing the relief I was hoping for.
My tinnitus has two distinct tones. One is a steady tone that is probably in the 8000 to 9000 Hz range. The other is a pulsing tone that sounds like Morse code, though it is not related to my heart rate, and it is around 12000 Hz.
There is more to the timeline, as I have involved a few doctors and had some better moments amidst the terror. However, I will stop here for now, as this is just an introduction. I will share more details about my experience and what I have been through in a future post.
One thing that has helped me is using an AI chat tool to log my thoughts and calm me during moments of extreme panic. To clarify, the timeline I mentioned is based on those logs. I am not sure if referencing the AI tool is allowed here, but I thought I would mention it in case it helps others understand where I am.
I realize this is a lot of information, maybe too much. I just want to be thorough so you all understand what I am going through. In the attached chart, my baseline is around a 6 at all times. Only showers and certain high-pitched noises cover it up. Before the panic attack, it was always at a 1 or a 2. I would notice it, but only in quiet situations like when the power was out.
I have had moments where it drops to a 4 or 5, possibly even lower when I first wake up in the morning.
I have struggled with a lot of guilt, wondering if I caused this myself. I used a blow dryer frequently to keep warm, and I worried that it might have been the cause. However, I clearly remember it becoming louder during the panic attack, almost like I lost my lifelong ability to ignore it.
I just feel so guilty and depressed. It has been hard on my fiancée, and she gets frustrated when I tell her I am really struggling and start to shut down.
The only relief I have found is through distractions like phone games and sleep. I need something to take my mind off it.
Today, I had an audiologist appointment. She was very kind and supportive. She told me that even though tinnitus is all in my head, it is not something I am making up. It is real, and people do not understand how distracting it can be. She also said I have excellent hearing with no issues at all, and my ear pressure is perfect.
She gave me another, faster ENT referral just to ensure my sinuses are fine. She also advised against considering TRT, the therapy they offer at her clinic, at this stage. She said it is too early for that and suggested that sound apps and sound therapy might be just as effective in my case for now.
Thank you for reading. I hope I can find some peace again.
Member
