My Pain Hyperacusis and PTSD Testimony — Asking for Some Words of Encouragement to Carry On

This is the hardest story I've ever had to write, but I feel a deep need to share what really happened. It’s important for me to put it out there in case my life takes a turn for the worse.

In 2023, I worked for a French construction company that specialized in concrete slabs. On May 16th, a colleague asked me to join him at a work site. As usual, I asked if we needed any protective gear, and he assured me we didn’t—it was just a meeting with a client to inspect some on-site issues.

When we arrived, I noticed a large concrete saw—something I had never seen in action before. There were also two other workers from the company. We met with the client and discussed solutions to the problem. My colleague then asked me to stretch out a film to help the saw move more easily. Immediately after, the operator started the machine. I was crouched just two meters away, right beside it. The operator kept using the machine, despite how close I was and the fact that I had no hearing protection. My colleague signaled for me to cover my ears with my hands, but the pain was unbearable—something inside my eardrum felt like it snapped. I later learned the machine reached 130 dB.

On my way home, I felt extremely dizzy, and a high-pitched ringing started in my ears. But the most shocking thing was that every sound during my train ride caused me pain. I saw an on-call doctor, who noticed an issue with my eardrum and gave me a work accident certificate, as it was the employer’s responsibility to provide hearing protection, which they hadn’t done. I emailed the certificate to the company that same day.

Over the next few days, my symptoms worsened. The atmosphere at the office grew tense. I eventually spoke with my employer, F.B., because he hadn’t reported the accident to social security within the required three-day period. When I asked him why, he responded with aggression and humiliation. Apparently, by seeing a doctor, I had "betrayed" the company. Now that social security was involved, the accident was going to cost them a lot of money. According to him, the whole company hated me, and I was useless—"I should be ashamed of having had an accident." The psychological pressure was so intense that he convinced me to sign a mutual termination agreement. Everything he said that day still echoes in my head a year and a half later.

After leaving the company, I hoped my symptoms would improve. I had no idea what was coming—painful hyperacusis, TTTS, and reactive tinnitus. In the months that followed, and even now, my life became increasingly limited. I went from being a music lover to someone who could barely listen to music. My entire identity was built around music, and now it feels like a thing of the past. My cello and guitar are just painful reminders. The pain I feel when leaving my house is only matched by the vertigo certain sounds cause. To make things worse, when I tried to rest my hearing in silence, the tinnitus would attack, preventing me from reading, watching TV, or even sleeping.

The severity of these symptoms was overwhelming. Around October, I reached out to my former employer, asking him to report the accident because, in France, this would cover medical expenses and offer compensation. I naively hoped to start some kind of TRT therapy. My former employer never responded.

Time passed, and social security contacted me, asking for my version of events. I found this strange. Apparently, my employer had claimed there were no witnesses.

Shortly after, I received documents in the mail. Social security had investigated my case and contacted the witnesses I had mentioned in my statement—witnesses I had tried to reach before, without success.

This was the lowest point of my life. Both witnesses claimed I had been 20 meters away from the saw, instead of the actual two meters. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I started to panic—couldn’t breathe, couldn’t feel my limbs, couldn’t think. My life was falling apart at just 37 years old, and it seemed my employer had convinced these witnesses to lie.

In the days that followed, I couldn’t stop thinking about my employer, F.B., and the witness, A.C., who had asked me to stand beside the saw. These thoughts still haunt me today.

Near the end of 2023, the French social security made its decision: the accident wasn’t recognized because of the false testimonies. My life flashed before my eyes—I had lost everything. I didn’t want to live in a world like this anymore, so I took 30 Valium pills to end it all. Fortunately, my girlfriend found me unconscious on the bathroom floor and called the paramedics. I woke up in the hospital, where they started me on strong antidepressants.

To this day, none of my symptoms have improved, and I’m writing this as a way to fight my suicidal thoughts. I’m hoping to share my story with a community that might understand. I was the victim of something that will never be known outside this space; my life was stolen from me. The only thing keeping me alive right now is a cocktail of five different psychotropic drugs that don’t ease the painful hyperacusis or calm my suicidal thoughts.

I miss music, I miss being able to talk to people, I miss going out and taking photos, and I miss feeling happiness.

Thank you for giving me this space. I hope to find some words of encouragement here.

 

Hi Pierre,

Your story is truly heartbreaking in every way, and you have my deepest sympathies. For what it’s worth, I’m glad your girlfriend found you that evening and that you’re still here. There’s every chance you can make some improvements and get your life back on track.

I can relate, as I went through a very similar experience with the same symptoms. Over a year later, I’m still struggling, but the important thing is to get up every day and keep trying different things to cope and improve as much as possible. It’s definitely a rollercoaster ride, as I’m sure you can relate.

May I ask what types of things you’ve tried so far?

 

Thanks for your kind words.

I truly feel like my life is over; nothing has changed in a year and a half. I also believe that what happened at my workplace really took a toll on me, which isn’t helping my recovery at all.

Here are some things I’ve tried:

• TRT (Tinnitus Retraining Therapy), but the white noise increased the pain from my TTTS symptoms and gave me vertigo.
• Eye Movement Desensitisation, as the situation at work made me suicidal.
• Antidepressants, benzodiazepines, Pregabalin, and Tercian.
• TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation).
• White noise from a speaker.
• Physical therapy to reduce the tension around my ears.

I hope this information helps.

Best regards.

 

It sounds like you have symptoms very similar to mine. The latest research suggests that Tinnitus Retraining Therapy (TRT) doesn’t do much beyond potentially masking the noise. If you have reactive tinnitus and Tonic Tensor Tympani Syndrome (TTTS), it could aggravate your condition.

However, I’ve found that certain frequencies and sounds, depending on the pitch, can mask my reactive tinnitus. For instance, 11,000 Hz masks it, but 5,000 Hz aggravates it. You could try experimenting with different frequencies and sounds, like crickets, by checking out Dale Snale’s channel on YouTube.

The other things you’ve tried all seem sensible. I’d suggest giving Gabapentin a shot, especially since you’ve already tried Pregabalin. Gabapentin has more evidence supporting its effectiveness for tinnitus. You might also want to try Lidocaine patches on your neck—search for my recent posts on this topic for more details. By the way, which benzodiazepine are you currently on?

It seems like you’re doing everything you can. Reading some of the success stories on here might be helpful; there are some really inspirational people. While it's crucial to avoid loud noise, I personally wouldn’t isolate myself from all noise. Others may disagree, but that’s just my opinion.

One approach I’ve taken is to focus on science-backed, anti-depressive strategies outside of medication, like fish oils, red light therapy, mindfulness, and exercise. Tinnitus is a traumatic experience, and I can relate to the PTSD element. Even if someone could magically cure me tomorrow, I know I’d be forever changed.

Beyond that, it’s a matter of time, patience, and protection, as someone eloquently said here. Do all you can to stay afloat. We have the Shore device on the horizon, hopefully in 2-3 years, as well as electrical stimulation of the cochlea and the forum's very own Tinnitus Quest. Just hang in there.

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you. My acoustic trauma in a nightclub was in early 2023. I have been robbed of a life since that evening in a foreign country with strangers.

What about trying something like Clomipramine potentially for hyperacusis? It's a tricyclic antidepressant that hyperacusis patients routinely mention. You can also have a look at the study below and hopefully try this regiment to get some relief from the hyperacusis:

→ Efficacy of Multi-Modal Migraine Prophylaxis Therapy on Hyperacusis Patients

 

Thank you for your message.

I'm thinking about starting Clomipramine, but my PTSD is so severe that I might need to take Venlafaxine, which is specifically indicated for that. My PTSD is mostly based on the false testimonies at work regarding the accident, and it makes me suicidal. I'm not sure if Clomipramine is effective for that, but it's something I have in mind. Also, side effects from it are supposed to be awful compared to SSRIs or SNRIs.

Do you also have noxacusis? I'm dealing with it, too, along with vertigo, which is a real nightmare because it makes it hard for me to walk properly. All my tests came back normal, and I don't have superior semicircular canal dehiscence syndrome (I think that's what it's called).

I read about the Shore device, but isn't it mainly for tinnitus? I'm not sure it would help with noxacusis, especially since it involves more sound near the ears, but I'll look into it more.

Honestly, depression and PTSD are more dangerous to me than hyperacusis. As I mentioned to AverageJoe, my PTSD isn't actually related to hyperacusis but rather to what happened at work afterward. It's incredibly hard knowing the truth might never come out and that two false testimonies won in court. Every day, the faces of those two witnesses and my former boss haunt me, sometimes even when I blink. It's a nightmare, and the feeling of injustice is overwhelming. Just yesterday, I had to take a triple dose of Lorazepam because I was so afraid of harming myself out of all the anger I'd built up.

I've thought that sharing my story publicly might help a bit. Of course, I don't have the courage to name the company or the people involved yet, but I'd like to do that someday.

 

Bonjour Pierre,

It's truly heartbreaking to read your story, and I’m so sorry that you have to go through this.

I can relate to your feelings. The worst trauma comes from those who should support us. It’s the ultimate betrayal and incredibly painful.

I grew up in a very violent home and have struggled with relationships and connecting with people throughout my life. I've been suffering from depression and anxiety since childhood. I’m 50 now, and it was only in recent years that the concept of chronic PTSD was recognized and added to the ICD-10 in 2022. For the first time, all my suffering made sense because the symptoms described my entire life.

To make a long story short: based on my own experience, what has been damaged in human interactions can only be healed through human interactions.

By posting, you’ve already taken a crucial step—you reached out for support. Well done, Pierre! Try to find a therapist you can trust. Connect with friends. Treat yourself as you would your best friend. You described your situation as a nightmare, but choose your words wisely. Nobody can handle a nightmare. Instead, call it a challenge. You can handle a challenging situation. You’ve already faced your situation bravely since last year, and you can and will continue to improve.

I wish you all the best. You may feel alone, but you are not. There are many of us, and you are one of us. We won’t let you down.

Keep a stiff upper lip!

Best regards from Austria,
Stoic

 

Hello Stoic,

Thank you so much for your post. It resonates deeply with what I've been through, and I'm sorry that you have to go through it, too.

I’ve taken an important step by putting into words what has happened, which is no small feat. In France, what I experienced is considered a felony, and it's incredibly difficult to escape the shadow of a former boss who has acted unlawfully. It really instills a sense of fear.

I read that you overcame hyperacusis with TRT. Was it pain hyperacusis or loudness hyperacusis? I couldn't tolerate TRT, and everything I’ve read on this forum suggests that pain hyperacusis is untreatable.

Thank you also for your thoughts on the use of words. I do have a therapist who has been compassionately supporting me for a year and a half now, but unfortunately, both my PTSD and noxacusis are not improving, which is worrying. We plan to try changing my medication in September (I'm torn between Venlafaxine and Clomipramine), and if that doesn't help, I think my only option might be hospitalization again, mainly to protect myself from suicidal thoughts.

Thank you for making me feel less alone.

Kind regards.

 

I am appalled and heartbroken by the way your employer and coworkers treated you. If I could punish them on your behalf, I would.

I also have noxacusis and tinnitus caused by a work-related situation that went completely unacknowledged by the people who were aware of it, and it has haunted me night and day. Like you, I see the faces of those people all the time. It's a betrayal I will never forget.

In addition to the suggestions others have given you, I humbly suggest acupuncture. It doesn't cure ear problems, but it provides some relief from pain, insomnia, depression, and anxiety, and there are no side effects whatsoever. I have two or three sessions a month, each lasting about one hour, and it has really helped me maintain my will to live.

The beauty of acupuncture is that even if a patient has an incurable disease or an illness that has not been accurately diagnosed, the individual symptoms can be treated safely. Plus, an acupuncturist treats patients holistically. They acknowledge trauma, and they know which acupuncture points to focus on to relieve symptoms of trauma. Medical doctors can be sympathetic, but a sympathetic demeanor isn't the same as having a holistic view of patients and creating customized treatment plans for them.

Please keep us posted on your progress. I'm glad you found this message board and I hope it will be a source of helpful support for you.

 

Believe me, I've often considered making a post revealing their real names and the name of the company. In situations as serious as this, I believe social justice is necessary to prevent it from happening to another worker. These incidents usually involve people with limited resources, and I have no doubt that this isn't the first time my former boss has fabricated false testimonies to avoid taking responsibility for a workplace accident. It's sad, but this is the reality we live in. I've even thought about writing a suicide note naming everyone involved, though I sincerely hope it never comes to that.

I'm truly sorry that you've had a similar experience to mine. It may be naive, but I still find it hard to believe that people like that exist in the world. I'm not surprised that you keep seeing their faces; I experience the same thing all the time.

Thank you for recommending acupuncture. I'll definitely try it in the near future. For now, I think the most important thing is to adjust my psychiatric medication to help reduce these suicidal thoughts.

Of course, I'll keep you updated. Thank you for taking the time to read this

 

Is it possible to hire a lawyer to reopen your French social security accident claim and a private investigator to find out if your former employer is breaking any laws right now? You deserve justice.

In the meantime, please keep prioritizing your self-care. I hope your new medication helps.

I don't know what else to say now, so I will just send you some virtual hugs.

 

I do have a lawyer, and we intend to do that. Unfortunately, it is very hard to prove two false testimonies.

Thanks for all your support. I'll keep you updated regarding my new medication

 

Hello Pierre,

My situation is quite different from yours, but after an intense exposure to a house alarm lasting over five minutes at a very close distance while I was disengaging it, it took about two years for my symptoms to reduce. I went to India for 10 weeks of Ayurvedic treatment called Panchakarma. I found that my tinnitus symptoms moderated from severe to moderate after about six weeks. In the four months since I’ve been back home in the States, I’ve had days where the tinnitus is so severe that I wonder how I’ll get through the day. However, I also experience periods of up to four days in a row where the tinnitus is moderate, even mild. When I first developed tinnitus over a decade ago, I also experienced catastrophic hyperacusis. Somehow, the hyperacusis resolved. I don’t know if it was due to acupuncture, 1 mg of Klonopin at night, home Ayurvedic therapies, hypnosis, craniosacral therapy, meditation, playing classical guitar for five hours a day, avoiding all loud and even moderate sounds—somehow guitar was okay—sound enrichment with ocean waves playing, etc. The key point is that the hyperacusis greatly diminished in less than a year.

I am so sorry to hear about your situation and the terrible way you have been treated by the company. I lived in France for several years and speak French, but I’m not familiar with the intricacies of the health bureaucracy. So, I asked ChatGPT in English. Perhaps asking in French would yield additional suggestions. In any case, here is the response (as always, I take responses with a grain of salt to avoid possible inaccuracies), but here goes:

• CPAM (Caisse Primaire d'Assurance Maladie): The CPAM manages health insurance and can provide support for work-related injuries or illnesses. They can help with the process of declaring an occupational disease or injury and ensure you receive the compensation you're entitled to.
  
  
• CARSAT (Caisse d'Assurance Retraite et de la Santé au Travail): CARSAT is responsible for workplace health and safety. They can conduct investigations and offer guidance on how to proceed with a compensation claim.
  
  
• Inspection du Travail (Labor Inspectorate): The Labor Inspectorate can investigate working conditions and verify if the employer has violated safety regulations. They can also help with legal proceedings if necessary.
  
  
• URSSAF (Union de Recouvrement des cotisations de Sécurité Sociale et d'Allocations Familiales): While primarily responsible for collecting social security contributions, URSSAF can also be involved in cases where employer negligence is suspected, particularly if it affects social security coverage.
  
  
• INRS (Institut National de Recherche et de Sécurité): The INRS provides information and resources on occupational health and safety. While not directly involved in compensation claims, they can offer valuable advice and expertise on the risks associated with noise exposure.
  
  
• Médiateur de l’Assurance Maladie: If there are disputes or issues with how your case is being handled, you can contact the Médiateur de l’Assurance Maladie, an independent ombudsman who can review and mediate your case.
  
  
• Avocats spécialisés en droit du travail: Consulting a lawyer specializing in labor law can be essential in complex cases, especially when there are disputes about the conditions or when proving the company's negligence.

Best of luck. The behavior of your business colleagues is truly reprehensible, especially for pressuring you into an agreement when you are suffering and not in a position to fully advocate for yourself.

Stephan

 

Bonjour Pierre,

Honestly, I don't know where to draw the line between loudness hyperacusis and pain hyperacusis. After my initial incident, noises in places like restaurants, walking on the street, or even singing birds seemed far too loud for me. If something is too loud, it hurts. Your body starts to cramp, your ears hurt, and you panic, wanting to escape the situation. So, for me, hyperacusis is always painful to some extent.

I started TRT a few months after my noise trauma, and it really helped me. By February, I had given myself a second trauma because I was feeling really good again and became overconfident. Since then, I’ve developed reactive tinnitus, which is really challenging because my tinnitus is triggered by almost every noise. It gets better over time, but it's very easy to have a setback from exposure to loud noises, and then the cycle starts again.

I was talking with my therapist this Monday about it. I told her that I’m pretty exhausted from starting over and over again. In my approach to getting used to sounds again, I always reach a point where I confront myself with sounds that are too loud, and by the time I realize it, it's too late. She then asked me a very good question: "Okay, you feel it in your ears that the situation was too loud, but do you feel it in a different way beforehand?" And she’s right. There’s already a feeling of tightness in my body when I enter an office with bad acoustics, a meeting with too many people, a noisy restaurant, or a place beside a street. I’m currently learning to recognize these subtle warning signs and act on them. This is quite difficult for me because I’m usually a "head through the wall" type of person, and I’m unforgiving with myself. This is why I experienced the noise trauma in the first place—I felt it, but I still pushed myself through instead of stopping when it was too loud. I’m as unforgiving with myself as my "family" was during my upbringing.

After both the first and second traumas, I also had severe suicidal thoughts, which is why I started therapy in the first place. These thoughts still come and go. Next week, I will join a self-help group for tinnitus because I need someone to talk to who understands what this condition is about.

It’s hard to say if something is truly untreatable. You don’t know how others handle this situation or what they mean when they say it’s untreatable. I could have easily said after my fifth setback, "Okay, it’s untreatable." But I always see improvements after setbacks. That means, until now, I haven’t found the right way and the right pace for my recovery. The last thing I will allow is for some anonymous users to take away my hope. Sometimes, hope is the only thing we have left.

I know I won’t get my life back as it was before, but I will fight for a life worth living as long as I am breathing, no matter what others say.

I wish you all the best!

Stoic

 

Hi Stephan, thanks a lot for your kind words.

It's quite encouraging that you were able to heal your hyperacusis. By the way, did you have loudness hyperacusis or pain hyperacusis? I don’t perceive sounds as being louder, but I do experience pain and a sort of muscle contraction at the eardrum level in response to noises. It seems to be TTTS, which also triggers my vertiginous state.

I ask because I haven't found much hope for pain hyperacusis. I've noticed that most people who have recovered only suffered from loudness hyperacusis and responded well to TRT, whereas those with pain hyperacusis often remain on these forums and, in many cases, worsen to indescribable levels.

Thanks for the information regarding the different social security entities. I'm familiar with them, but the issue is that it's very difficult, even with a lawyer, to disprove two false testimonies. We clearly live in a very complicated world.

Best regards.

Hi Stoic,

I've never had loudness hyperacusis. Most of it is just sharp pain, like knives playing with my eardrum. I also feel a sort of contraction inside my ear, which must be TTTS.

I’m also going to start a tinnitus support group. I’m skeptical because I’m unsure if it will make me sink deeper into the condition, but I’ll let you know how it goes!

Additionally, besides Clomipramine, I’ll be starting to use hearing aids with filters that block certain sounds. I’m just afraid that filtering sounds like this might perpetuate the hyperacusis.

Best regards.

 

Hello Pierre,

I would describe the hyperacusis I experienced as pain hyperacusis. Everyday sounds, like air conditioners, seemed as loud as 747s, and even the sound of crickets was overwhelming. My nervous system was so heightened that when I was exposed to a series of fire truck sirens, I nearly blacked out on the sidewalk.

Although I didn't feel specific pain in my ears, I did go through periods where I experienced panic attacks.

After several months, I started TRT (Tinnitus Retraining Therapy) while my hyperacusis was still quite severe. This may have helped, both through the actual pink noise therapy and the support of a compassionate audiologist.

Bon courage,
Stephan