My Tinnitus Has Spiked After Boxes of Jigsaw Puzzles Dropped on Concrete Floor

My tinnitus must have been going on 40 years now but it gets worse and worse.

My cleaning person was over and she was carrying some jigsaw puzzle in boxes. Unfortunately I was close to the ground, looking at something near the ground. It's a concrete floor. A couple of boxes fell on the floor right next to my ear. I told myself a couple of jigsaw puzzles dropping on the floor right next to my ear can't be that bad, right?

Anyways, this is now 7 hours later. Since I can easily tell I have a spike, I've pushed Clonazepam which is my emergency medication.

I hear people talking about three steps forward and two steps back, but with me it's two steps forward and three steps back.

2 years ago my wife slammed the lid of the car. That spiked me as well, and it didn't really get better, just gradually a bit more tolerable.

My energy level from struggling with this is gradually going less and less. I've had numerous threads here so I'm pretty familiar with spikes and I don't even know why I'm starting this thread except I just feel totally shi***.

My dresser drawer is almost like a pharmacy. Maybe 18 years ago it was just Seroquel and Mirtazapine and that was it. Gradually Carbamazapine and Lyrica got added to the mix. Somebody answered one of my threads years ago saying you've got to get off those meds, they're going to kill you. Maybe tinnitus is actually going to do the job.

I was carrying a life insurance policy that covered everything. Somehow I accidentally let that one lapse. I've got 100% survivor benefit on my pension so it's not like anybody would be short of money if I'm not here anymore. I still actually work full time, we have a provision where you can keep working after your pension age shows up, so I've been living on pension plus extra income from working full time. I used to really enjoy my work. This has robbed me of that. It's not like I've robbed myself of my own life, it's tinnitus that is robbed me of my life.

And then today I got up first thing in the morning and, you know, I've been kind of slowly improving I would have to say.

Several months ago I got some bad medical news about coming down with some kind of chronic leukemia. My wife just had two different kinds of cancers, so it was like being hit by a truck three times. I was getting over the shock and getting used to the new reality of having cancer.

At least you could say I'm going on 67 this year. Actually my birthday is next month, and I have read about people here who are much younger than myself. People whose lives are completely devastated. So you could say, well, hey, you're going on 67. Your kids have grown up. You've done your job.

I checked my own postings in 2018 I did say I wish some natural disease would come along and finish me off quickly. Except what I've got doesn't finish me off quickly. It means I still have to get dragged down with no energy plus contend with cancer and now I've got this shi*** spike. How crazy can that be.

I know I'm coming in here depressed and you're not supposed to be depressed because it gets other people depressed, and I know emotions and tinnitus is a real bad mix, tinnitus loves it when your emotions are in a bad place. I don't really know how to change that. It's just plain hard.

Nevertheless, I could use a few kind words.

 

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are going through with tinnitus and other health problems @object16.

Recurring spikes in tinnitus are usually associated with noise-induced tinnitus. One of the main reasons you have been experiencing them and your oversensitivity to sound seems to be getting worse, is because the underlying problem is hyperacusis that has not been successfully treated, therefore hyperacusis can become a long-term problem manifesting itself as spikes - another factor is the overuse of hearing protection as mentioned on your profile. The overuse of hearing protection can lower the loudness threshold of the auditory system making it more sensitive to sound.

Because you have been experiencing spikes for quite a while, I think one of the best ways to treat the underlying cause, which is hyperacusis, is to see an audiologist that specialises in tinnitus and hyperacusis management. Sound therapy using white noise generators, counselling and possibly medication will be needed. You could try self-help by using a sound machine at night by your bedside for low-level sound enrichment, to help desensitize your ears and auditory system so they become more tolerant to sound. Whenever possible, use low-level sound enrichment during the day. This treatment will take time, whether you choose to seek professional help with an audiologist or try on your own.

Please go to my started threads and read: Hyperacusis, As I See It, The Habituation Process, How to Habituate to Tinnitus, Tinnitus and the Negative Mindset, Acquiring A Positive Mindset, Will My Tinnitus Get Worse? Can Tinnitus Counselling Help?

Hope you start to feel better soon,
Michael

 

Unfortunately I got myself into an overprotection trap.

For the past 10 years I have played soft Enya Music and Restful Rain CD simultaneously through FLAC, the entire night, and during the day I have played Restful Rain CD constantly in the office. Without sound at night, sleep would be completely impossible.

I have been unable to get out of the hyperacusis state I created for myself. My sound tolerance is a bit better, but today I took a taxi cab for 10 minutes. I anticipated the taxi might be noisy, but it was even worse: it had a bad muffler. I came prepared with sponge ear stopples, and I was using the Bose QC 25 noise cancelling on top of that, but even with that, my spike is now even worse. Bad mufflers have a low frequency that really bothers me, I understand low frequency noise is quite injurious to hearing.

The result is I feel just about suicidally depressed, my tinnitus was already in spike mode from all the bad cancer news and getting upset with loss of sleep and medicating myself with Clonazepam to try to deal with the cancer stress bad news.

I talked with a close very knowledgeable friend, should I retire from my job (which is quiet office), she said no. Absolutely do not retire (I'm 67, I have a good pension, I've got good savings, if someone said I could trade all my savings and be tinnitus free, I would still say no, my savings are there for my kids' inheritance, they live from paycheck to paycheck, unlike myself that doesn't need to work, but I have an important occupation, and provide valuable community care).

I just feel done. Like as in toast. Sure I know hearing problems are common, but I just really feel done, like I wish it were over, but that's not an option for me either. This is a remote community, and there is no one lining up to take my place here. Along with being in a remote location, that also means there is no one who specializes in tinnitus around here.

I did contact a very fine audiologist who is 3 hours by road away from here. That's too far for me to travel. I can barely do a ten minute trip by road, on account of road noise. I wear protection during automobile travel. I just don't have a choice. The hyperacusis/tinnitus has me trapped, with no escape.

 

It all depends how you were listening to the Enya music and rain CD. If you were listening through some type of headphones, then this wouldn't have been a good idea. If the music was set too loud when playing through the night, this can also cause problems, especially if you were trying to mask or cover up the tinnitus so it cannot be heard.

Sound enrichment must be administered correctly to obtain maximum benefit. When done right, sound enrichment can treat tinnitus and hyperacusis often with good results. Because we are all different, no two people will progress the same. However, most people experience some improvement in their tinnitus and hyperacusis which will make the path to habituation much easier. The Sound Machines and Tinnitus thread explains the importance of sound enrichment and the way to use it correctly.

There is no doubt you are going through a very difficult time at the moment especially with your other medical condition.

With all due respect to your friend that is trying to be helpful, she isn't experiencing what you're going through. When severe, tinnitus and hyperacusis can be extremely difficult to cope with, and coupled with your other health condition can make life very difficult. I advise that you talk things over with your GP/PCP, ENT doctor and, if possible, your audiologist. Hopefully with these health professionals on board, they can help you choose the right path to take, regarding your health and whether you're able to continue working.

Talk to your medical professionals and I hope you start to feel a little better soon.

Michael

 

Thanks for the very detailed reply.

I use an SPL meter to adjust the playback volume, I don't normally make any adjustments, the last time I set it may have been around a year ago, approx. 60 dBC; it plays through Onkyo receivers and high quality speaker system, so the fidelity is excellent, and I never play through a headset. I am cautious to ensure the level is LESS than the tinnitus, as everyone should know, you are never supposed to try to cover the tinnitus, or you make yourself even worse. I would say, what I'm doing has resulted in some improvement in my sound tolerance. If I am experiencing a spike, I don't make any changes to the volume control, I just push Clonazepam for a bit, to suppress the spike.

Six days have gone by, I would say the spike is subsiding significantly, which I take to be a good sign, and I would say your reply likely assisted in my getting better, it just gives me optimism, reading your posts and your experience. Of course everyone is different, but essentially what you have is the same as what I have, just mine was neglected, and I was abused by the medical professionals, who treated me like a malingerer or just a plain nutcase.

It is very rare, but sometimes outside extreme low frequency, possibly from a distant rail yard, or possibly a motor vehicle with illegal muffler modification intrudes into the bedroom. When this happens, the tinnitus tries to "climb over" the low frequency, with is distressing, fortunately this never lasts for more than 20 minutes and is a rare occurrence. So I've got low frequency hypersensitivity.

As for my "friend", she is a widow of my former family physician, she has known me for many years, and is quite knowledgeable about medicine in general. I would have to say I concur with her recommendation.

Going to work gives me a good reason to get up in the morning, and is basically I would say, good for my mental health in general. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next Monday to discuss this matter with him as well. My feeling is I should probably keep going, in that I enjoy my work greatly, and not being able to work, is almost like death for me.

Interestingly, although most everyone has negative experience with cannabis, I did vape a rather high dose of CBD last night, I wouldn't be surprised if I took in the 200-300 mg range, there was an instant sedative effect, and I think it helped me sleep, which is always a good thing. The CBD did cause a minor increase in tinnitus which I hardly noticed. My Clonazepam dose is down to 1 mg, which for me is well tolerated, and I'm planning to slowly taper this down, to hopefully 0.5 mg, then 0.25 mg and then 0 mg. I don't take cannabinoids on a regular basis, maybe every other day or so, in order to avoid tolerance.

 

You must do what you feel is best but I would like you to consider the following: The more complex one makes tinnitus and hyperacusis, the more difficult habituation can be. If I were in your position, I would keep sound enrichment as simple as possible and not use an SPL meter, nor have sound enrichment playing through receivers because this isn't necessary.

I am an Audiophile and have two High-End audio systems, so I understand where you're coming from. However, high quality sound of the type you've mentioned for sound enrichment isn't required here and could in fact hinder your progress without you knowing it. All that is needed, is a simple stand alone Sound Oasis sound machine, by your bedside at night playing low-level sound enrichment - it can also be connected to a pillow speaker or plugging Sound Oasis pillow speakers into the output jack on the sound machine and place the speakers under your existing pillow and set the volume low. The auditory system requires soft sound enrichment, not to be bathed in it. Please think about this.

I wish you well,
Michael

 

Reading this made me feel a lot of concern and sympathy for you.

Do you not have hobbies? What do you do at weekends?

Would you like to spend more time with you wife, perhaps go on some holidays?

Do you have family or retired friends you could do things with?

Isn’t a big part of working paying into your pension in readiness to enjoy retirement?

Surely you can 'find' reasons to get up in the morning if you have planned and have things you enjoy doing?

Start writing things down now. Pretend you are going to retire and see if you can fill the time with relaxing and enjoyable activities.

Don't give your work the rest of you!

Do you seriously believe your dying breath is going to be "I wish I had worked more"?

 

My workplace has a defined benefit pension plan, and I opted to take pension 6 years ago. Since then I draw pension, and work on contract, since I enjoy my work to such an extent, that I even prewrote my own obit to read: "He went to the other side, still doing what he enjoyed doing most".

As for hobby, my hobby life is very restricted, I go in for gardening, since this is very quiet and does not expose me to noise/loud sounds. I used to enjoy going for walks, however, quite frankly, I've been pretty despondent, and even neglect my gardening.

My wife just came back from major cancer operation, and she's just a shadow of the optimism she was when I first met her, 45 years ago. She also has a malignant brain tumor, which is separate from the lung cancer, and is likely inoperable. My wife doesn't smoke or drink and has no lifestyle risk for developing cancer. She has two very rare cancers. Her brain tumor was discovered by MRI when she also came down with tinnitus, but quite mild and easily tolerable. She frequently asks me to speak up, she's getting that hard of hearing, at the age of 64, with no history of industrial noise exposure or any significant noise exposure. We just live in a very noisy world, it seems.

I also had a recent diagnosis of leukemia, so I recognize the end of my life is inevitable, in one form or another. Hopefully natural causes.

I think I can probably now trace the tinnitus that I endure, and is getting from bad to worse, all the way back to childhood, child abuse, psychological trauma, and how that unravels and the promising life that you may have led, has been stolen from you, for no good reason. Child abuse is not there to "make you a stronger person", it is there to steal your life, so I start anew, start over, to build myself into a better person. Which I did. But the cost, is incalculable.

To quote Kafka: "the man was terrified of dying, because he had never lived". Ironically, before I read that quote, I had already said to myself: "I lived before I died". That is my testimony.

 

Hi @object16, I remember you from several years back. I'm sorry things haven't improved for you, and that you are going through this latest setback.

Hang in there buddy.

 

Hi, thanks buddy, my memory isn't all that great, but your name is familiar, thanks for the cheering up.

I grew up in Toronto, but have moved to Sault Ste. Marie, which is a service for the underserviced. My colleague has been here 40+ years and continues to provide service in his late 80s; he's an ironman, we get along great together and make a great team. That's one big reason why I'm reluctant to just retire: what would my colleague, who got me this job, when no one was hiring, do without me?

I've basically been in bed for a couple of days, and zonked myself out on Clonazepam, I know that is not a good long term solution, lol, but a good long period of time in bed, such as really long, does actually help me out. My horrendous recent spike, has subsided considerably.

For me, Tinnitus Talk does keep me going, and I can go through my previous posts and read about how bad things were in the past, and how, somehow, by miracle, I'm still here, and although not as functional as before, I can still function and do some reasonable daily work. What I mentioned above, I've been working in the same place for 30+ years now, and being able to provide health care, also keeps me going, my dedication is valued and workplace does also recognize I'm fighting with a disability, such as coworkers, superiors, and management, are extremely kind and sympathetic, no one gives me any grief if I go home early or show up late, they know, although no one can really know unless they also experience what we've got, but they can still tell from my face, the fatigue, which is something anyone can understand, and the fatigue is not from partying or any other excess, it is fatigue from tinnitus, so I'm addressed with respect, deserving of a valiant warrior. As you can tell, I'm of the "old school" breed, continuing to work doesn't bother me, it actually nourishes me.

 

It is truly wonderful you are in such a workplace. A treasure most would not ever find. I can see why you would want to keep working and giving your service. And I think you should as long as you can. Best of luck, you deserve it.

 

Hi everyone, I did do what I only know that can be done, which is eat Elonazepam to suppress the spike. Of course I lose several days of life. I'm gradually improving.

I also looked up Mindfulness, and Mindful Eating. I actually slept better, since I didn't stuff myself with food; the meds I take promote weight gain and that's very frustrating for me. Mindfulness has helped me in that regard.

I slept for around 7 hours, then I did a chore in the kitchen (working on isoflavones, black chick pea sprouts), had a couple bowls of yoghurt, went back to bed and slept for another hour or so, got up, got myself going. Positive attitude is essential.

• 87 Self-Reflection Questions for Introspection [+Exercises] (positivepsychology.com)
• 58 Science-Based Mindful Eating Exercises and Tips (positivepsychology.com)
• Courtney E. Ackerman, MA, Researcher (positivepsychology.com)