Oxytocin Insights on MDMA, Tinnitus, Relationships and Parents

[nills]

It`s 5.30 am and I just cried for an hour or more, can`t sleep and my T is just up the roof ...

I will try to keep this short but I made some diffrent connections regarding T and the subject of the Thread...

So please, bear with me, i`m tired but I need to get this out.

1. MDMA kills T for me

2. MDMA raises Oxytocin levels

3. Oxitocin is the love neurotramsmitter / hormone

4. Oxytocin raises when we love, kiss, hug or think about being in relationship - it promotes feelings of belonging and togetherness and relating

5. people that have had parents who were not able to provide this have lower levels of Oxytocin (like divorces, abandoing etc)

6. I did not see my dad for more than 30 years out of my 33 years ... my mom was untill end of puberty a whisky dirnking sleeping pill popping absence (although she tried) in my life ... my steph dad and I fought verbally and phisically since I was a small kid ... we had a big fight when i was 17 and I left home

7. tonight I was thinking of my `girlfriend` who I havn`t seen in a year and will meet again in India next week (she is russian, we were together living in Portugal last year for 4 months (most blissfull period ever untill I realised with my T I can not continue like this - we lived together in an Ashram (spiritual community) where subject number 1 and the only one is ... yes, you guessed it .. SILENCE!

8. I left and told her, forget about me, I need to solve this thing, don`t want you to be in this mess ... can`t love you and share a spiritual life focussed on meditation and silence with this tinnitus ruining my life.

9. she refused to let me go, and since we have ekpt contact and tried to get visa for her - nothing worked and now we will go and spend time in India together ...

10. thinking of the coming time I felt more and more anxiety and more and more distant ... and my T kept getting higher and higher ... untill I broke down and just cried and cried feeling so lonly


conclusion ... my oxytocin levels must be like minus 100 now ... no bonding no togetherness ... just plain solitude ... I`m 1000ths of miles away in a foreign city (Bangkok) trying to find a solution for my/our problem ...


Ok this is what i wanted to share ... I think something must be connected with all of this ...

please anyone commect ...

thanks


now will watch a movie and hopefully won`t remember the moment i fall asleep (and wake up very late pray to God)

love, nills

ps. i`m a natural hugger btw ... I just like to hug people ... when I`m with friends I like to make some sort of physical contact ... also I`m `addicted` to kissing and making love (bit hard when your alone though) ... anyway, could this be my body`s natural tendency to get my Oxytocin levels up to kill the T ... ? ... or am i just a normal human being? - don`t think everyone enjoys these things equally ...


SO my conclusions is almost - I got T because of the shitty upbringing ... maybe we should start a poll to see from a scale from 1 - 10 how much we felt loved or are able to love in a relationship and how we experience our T ... ? ...

 

[ady]

It`s 5.30 am and I just cried for an hour or more, can`t sleep and my T is just up the roof ...

I will try to keep this short but I made some diffrent connections regarding T and the subject of the Thread...

So please, bear with me, i`m tired but I need to get this out.

1. MDMA kills T for me

2. MDMA raises Oxytocin levels

3. Oxitocin is the love neurotramsmitter / hormone

4. Oxytocin raises when we love, kiss, hug or think about being in relationship - it promotes feelings of belonging and togetherness and relating

5. people that have had parents who were not able to provide this have lower levels of Oxytocin (like divorces, abandoing etc)

6. I did not see my dad for more than 30 years out of my 33 years ... my mom was untill end of puberty a whisky dirnking sleeping pill popping absence (although she tried) in my life ... my steph dad and I fought verbally and phisically since I was a small kid ... we had a big fight when i was 17 and I left home

7. tonight I was thinking of my `girlfriend` who I havn`t seen in a year and will meet again in India next week (she is russian, we were together living in Portugal last year for 4 months (most blissfull period ever untill I realised with my T I can not continue like this - we lived together in an Ashram (spiritual community) where subject number 1 and the only one is ... yes, you guessed it .. SILENCE!

8. I left and told her, forget about me, I need to solve this thing, don`t want you to be in this mess ... can`t love you and share a spiritual life focussed on meditation and silence with this tinnitus ruining my life.

9. she refused to let me go, and since we have ekpt contact and tried to get visa for her - nothing worked and now we will go and spend time in India together ...

10. thinking of the coming time I felt more and more anxiety and more and more distant ... and my T kept getting higher and higher ... untill I broke down and just cried and cried feeling so lonly


conclusion ... my oxytocin levels must be like minus 100 now ... no bonding no togetherness ... just plain solitude ... I`m 1000ths of miles away in a foreign city (Bangkok) trying to find a solution for my/our problem ...


Ok this is what i wanted to share ... I think something must be connected with all of this ...

please anyone commect ...

thanks


now will watch a movie and hopefully won`t remember the moment i fall asleep (and wake up very late pray to God)

love, nills

ps. i`m a natural hugger btw ... I just like to hug people ... when I`m with friends I like to make some sort of physical contact ... also I`m `addicted` to kissing and making love (bit hard when your alone though) ... anyway, could this be my body`s natural tendency to get my Oxytocin levels up to kill the T ... ? ... or am i just a normal human being? - don`t think everyone enjoys these things equally ...


SO my conclusions is almost - I got T because of the shitty upbringing ... maybe we should start a poll to see from a scale from 1 - 10 how much we felt loved or are able to love in a relationship and how we experience our T ... ? ...

Isn't it a bad idea to do drugs?

 

[Jahhsoul]

I used to take MDMA before my T started. I will take it again when I get back my emotional stability not only to see if it can reduce my T but to enjoy his effects with my friends. My T came (like you)after hard times with parents and GF. Im sure there is a conexion with T and Oxitocin/emotional states.

I really think that staying away from bad thoughts could be an excellent weapon to reduce our T.

 

[Jahhsoul]

Isn't it a bad idea to do drugs?

Not at all. You just have to know how to use them correctly.

 

[nills]

Isn't it a bad idea to do drugs?

no, it is a great idea!

the world is filled with drugs!! all your doctors take drugs and more than half of the forum is taking them!

you have to choose the right ones ... my suggestion ... LSD, MDMA, MAGIC MUSHROOMS, AYAHUASCA, DMT

please people, open your minds and think and experience for yourself ... I have done heaps of drugs and feel very sane and pretty intelligent if it`s not to arrogant to say ... the drugs your shrinks give you are 100 x worse !


anyone else have something to say or ask?

i`m ready to trample your blindly followed and not tested out notions and ideas at any time ...

<3

and let me add I refuse to take sleeping pills or AD`s ... yes, I have a rough time like now ... but i`m up for the battle and follow my deepest intuitions! ... I choose what seems right and true ... and those things are way beyond what the law and doctors say ...

 

[nills]

I used to take MDMA before my T started. I will take it again when I get back my emotional stability not only to see if it can reduce my T but to enjoy his effects with my friends. My T came (like you)after hard times with parents and GF. Im sure there is a conexion with T and Oxitocin/emotional states.

I really think that staying away from bad thoughts could be an excellent weapon to reduce our T.

I did MDMA only 2 times in last 2 years ... was a bit hesitant every time, but did not regret it ... although I have to say and don`t know if it is related ... I took it several weeks ago and my T has been very high for the last weeks ... going up and down with spikes - although I can`t say it was because of the MDMA ... just want to give the full picture and not mislead anyone. The first time I took MDMA when I had T nothing of that sort happend ... I suggest don`t exceed a total of 200 mg in one session ( I took like 300 maybe - in several hits) ... blissfull silence though and so many insights ... so if you do it ... start low. Do 50 and wait a few weeks and than decide if you go higher or not ...

FDA approved MDMA being tested for PTSD - claims a single sessions can heal people more than anything else ... so they are catching up ...

 

[linearb]

@nills mdma kills t because it floods your serotonin receptors. I noticed the same thing and I don't have any issues with oxytocin deficiency, I'm happily married and I'm a huggy guy with some huggy friends. I haven't really indulged in that sort of thing since college, I think it's generally a bad idea to cluster bomb your synapses when you have chronic health concerns, but I can certainly relate to what you're saying.

Drug fueled insights can be overwhelming; it's probably better to let them percolate through a few days of sobriety before you post them.

For the record I think it's an astonishingly bad idea to mess with drugs in general and psychedelics in particular if you have any kind of ongoing mental health concern. This certainly includes tinnitus unless it's very well managed and not a big problem in your life.

Psychedelics are dangerous as hell, and anyone who tells you otherwise hasn't spent much time communicating with people who have been severely harmed by them. Yes, I think they're basically okay for intelligent people who are stable and happy and in a good environment and life... and that probably includes very, very few people here.

 

[linearb]

Note that with all that said, I don't disagree that psychiatric drugs can be just as hazardous.

 

[ruben ruiz]

I always felt it was bad to take Phar meds with Tinnitus. But when you dont sleep for two months what the hell are you supposed to do? Its a pure and simple catch 22. I was doing OK when the other dy I found out my daughter is pregnant and not maried. I went through the roof. To bad for me the T and H went through the roof as well. Im praying they go back to their original settings. This sucks big time its like you die an inch at a time.

 

[linearb]

Okay, now that I'm not on a mobile device, I've a couple more thoughts that I will try to keep brief.

maybe we should start a poll to see from a scale from 1 - 10 how much we felt loved or are able to love in a relationship and how we experience our T

Love and happiness have an obvious but yet poorly understood relationship to serotonin, noradrenaline, GABA, etc. That's a dumb way of saying that the internal workings of the mind and body are in some way a reflection of the environment we're in, the resources we have to navigate that environment, and the way we conscious approach and interact with that environment. So, I have no problem, necessarily, believing that tinnitus suffering is connected to how much we're suffering in general.

That said, I was a bit of a basket case when my tinnitus increased (for reasons that had nothing to do with tinnitus). Here I am, years later, with a much better understanding of who I am, who I want to be, and how to have compassion and experience empathy... I can't say the tinnitus has yet changed in any meaningful way in relation to that.

or am i just a normal human being? - don`t think everyone enjoys these things equally ...

I personally believe that humans have a fundamental, evolutionary instinct towards touch and love, and the things which isolate us now are cultural and not genetic -- and, therefore, at odds with our genetic inclination. If that's true then it creates a disconnect between ourselves and our era. But, I don't think that has much to do with tinnitus, which as far as we know occurs in animals and has existed in humans for at least as long as there have been written records.

I got T because of the shitty upbringing

This, I think, goes too far. But, I'll totally accept that a harder time in early life can relate to any number of problems later in life, and these may have neurologic correlates -- meaning, the more stressed and unhappy we are, over a long period of time, the more likely we are to find cracks in the foundation of our nervous systems.

That said, it's probably not hard to find people who are basically happy and well adjusted who have loud tinnitus. I've known at least one or two myself -- people who are happier overall are likely to tolerate tinnitus and other ailments with less distress, though!

Now, on the drug shit front:

I think psychedelic drugs are as valid a starting point for self-discovery as any other phenomena, and I know it's the opinion of many very spiritually wise people that they can be a "shortcut" to insights which might otherwise take a long time to come to. So, I'm not trying to be all "drugs are bad mmmkay"; this is a very complex issue.

I just don't necessarily think it's an appropriate issue for this forum; nearly everyone here is, or has at some point, been severely distressed by tinnitus. And, these drugs are dangerous. Shortcuts are dangerous -- and I even think that the long, harder paths to insight are perilous! I've certainly known people who came to unpleasant truths through meditation, and once the genie is out of the bottle you're not going to cork it again.

Psychedelics tend to be overwhelming, especially for people who have been raised inside the construct of a consumerist, hedonist society. Rather, that's the point, if they weren't overwhelming they wouldn't be interesting.

I don't think people who are struggling with tinnitus need to be overwhelmed.

There have been a number of interesting studies recently about MDMA and psilocybin, and how they appear to be helpful to people with end-of-life distress (and, in the case of MDMA, PTSD). However, these are always performed in carefully controlled circumstances, under the guidance of compassionate people with experience with these compounds. That's a far cry from taking illicit psychedelics on one's own. I think there are risks associated with this even under the best circumstances, too.

Specifically on the MDMA front, the thing that concerns me is that it's interacting directly with transmitter systems believed to be involved in tinnitus signal, and over the years I have known or read accounts from a number of people who first experienced or worsened their tinnitus as a result of MDMA consumption specifically.

So, that is a long winded way of once again saying, here there be dragons.

 

[linearb]

I did not do very well keeping it brief, did I

 

[just1morething]

So is MDMA only a "street drug" ? Will it ever be standardized and safe enough to be prescribed by a Dr.? I know very little about it other than reading that it can be very dangerous.

 

[linearb]

So is MDMA only a "street drug" ? Will it ever be standardized and safe enough to be prescribed by a Dr.? I know very little about it other than reading it can be very dangerous.

It was used by some avant-garde psychiatrists prior to it becoming a street drug, but at this point, the pharmaceutical supply is tightly controlled, scarce, and not available outside of research studies and very rare circumstances. In the USA it is a schedule I drug which means that the government believes it has a high abuse potential and no possible medical utility. I agree with the first half of that.

 

[JohnK]

My T goes to near silence after sex (when the brain releases a flood of oxytocin). I don't know how to replicate this without constant sex all the time, but it would be nice!

 

[nills]

Thanks for the input guys!

@linearb I can not disagree with you ... although speaking of the drugs I mentioned what you say can hardly be related too.

Yes, it is true, having T it would be quit a strong ride using psychedelic drugs ...

But dear lord psychedelics are not even touching the toes of the amount of harm that all the pharmaceutical rugs cause in this world ...

and don`t forget PSYCHEDLICS ARE NOT ADDICTIVE! ... (MDMA can be something you would like to do a lot more due to it`s wonderfull effects ... which is not a good idea, I have abused it a bit in my teens but only 1 time, every week or 2 weeks for a few years) with these drugs you remain aware of a choice I feel. You can take it, you don`t need to do it. and you can drop them at any time. This is compared taking a pharmaceutical every day almost nothing. I talked to my sister in law yesterday ... she said this: take Zolpidem for sleep! it is not dangerous, my doctor gave it to me and said it is fine, he has been taking it for 20 years and feels good! ....... can you see the shadows coming over paradise yet? ... I researched it and wisely will not take this thing for sure!

so about psychedelics... use them with respect and care and follow the guidelines that are well put out in this world and you should be fine. Same as with pharmaceuticals, Zolpidem for instance should not be taken more than a few days in a row they say ....

so with MDMA and it`s effects... Oxitocin is also raised according to this article, so it is not just the serotonin levels...

about psychedelic research:

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...reat-mental-illness-raise-22000-a6784646.html

http://psychcentral.com/news/2014/0...ibit-negative-emotions-in-amygdala/69563.html

see the words Oxitocin and Amygdala? I`m connecting dots all over and just share some more articles for those who want to know about this. I did another EEG few days ago and will do an MRI tomorrow. I hope this time they will explain to me in depth what they find so I can investigate myself. Problem with doctors is that they just share there own intepretation which is build on past knowledge and does not hold a lot of new found insights these last years coming out. I suspect my Amygdala is over active... I did my EEG in september at BRAI2N and they said my subgenua was overactive ... I am now in Bangkok and the head of neurology kept insisting they want to look at my auditory cortex ... I kept trying to tell them they have to look beyond the ears and hearing cortexes ... anyway ... I will bother them with the same force as I bother this forum ... only like this we will come to a new finding ...


about parents and relationships:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prefrontal-nudity/201401/the-problems-the-love-hormone

about dangerous pharmaceuticals

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addict...contin-cessation-and-ear-ringing/show/1221289

http://anonhq.com/the-fda-just-approved-oxycontin-to-be-prescribed-to-children/

I awoke at 1 pm ... had around 5 hours of sleep ... good enough for today ...


Good luck to all!

 

[nills]

just as a seperate post.

I do not advice anyone experimenting with MDMA in relation to his Tinnitus or to find relief. I used this drug as an experiment to find out the nature of tinnitus and where it originates or how to control it.

the info I share is pure scientific research based only!

be safe

 

[daniel1111]

please people, open your minds and think and experience for yourself

I don't want to get into a whole argument about the general dangers of psychedelics, but they are definitely not as safe as some like to preach.

My main argument is, most people on this forum suffer at least from some anxiety, many suffer from depression and they just cannot come to terms with the intrusiveness of their tinnitus fully. These are not people you want to be giving LSD or Mushrooms, I just can't see it working well if people don't have experience with these substances. It could be the worst thing in their lives and cause permanent PTSD.

MDMA is especially a danger with the possibility of a few days to a week long deep depression after dosing. This can make tinnitus worse in itself, and people already struggling with depression may feel like killing themselves. Even people without depression and tinnitus can feel like that after an MDMA dose (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/suicide_Tuesday)

 

[nills]

I don't want to get into a whole argument about the general dangers of psychedelics, but they are definitely not as safe as some like to preach.

My main argument is, most people on this forum suffer at least from some anxiety, many suffer from depression and they just cannot come to terms with the intrusiveness of their tinnitus fully. These are not people you want to be giving LSD or Mushrooms, I just can't see it working well if people don't have experience with these substances. It could be the worst thing in their lives and cause permanent PTSD.

MDMA is especially a danger with the possibility of a few days to a week long deep depression after dosing. This can make tinnitus worse in itself, and people already struggling with depression may feel like killing themselves. Even people without depression and tinnitus can feel like that after an MDMA dose (https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/suicide_Tuesday)

Also true ...

but set and setting is everything ...

cocnlusion, pro`s and cons everywhere ... nothing has a single truth ... thanks for balancing me out guys @linearb @daniel1111

 

[ruben ruiz]

Zolpadem is bad news. Its ototoxic but was isn't.

 

[meeb]

I must admit, I spent one evening with my ex girlfriend and when I lied in bed, my tinnitus was at a minimum, I had been off of work for a couple of weeks but it was the first night the new low hum noise disappeared, came back two days later after driving but still. That evevining my tinnitus went down, we had sex, went out for a meal (driving which was part of the culprit to the new humming noise), watched a movie, some wine and went to bed, I think there is some hope with oxytocin and it makes sense.

 

[lapidus]

I think there is some hope with oxytocin and it makes sense.

Maybe. There was recently a small study on it in Brazil. Here's the thread:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/the-love-hormone-may-quiet-tinnitus.17618/