People Who Do Not Care

[TinniTom]

Hi all!

Do you know people with tinnitus who do not care it?

My girlfriend and my brother do also have tinnitus but they do not have a problem with it. My girlfriends tinnitus is not that loud as mine, but according to my brother his one is at least the same volume but it doesn't bother him. Of course he would prefer to not have it but he isn't worried about it. It is how it is.
Also my girlfriend, who is working in the kindergarten, experienced sometimes her tinnitus gets worse sometimes, for example if a kid was screaming or something, but it isn't a big deal for her. She just say "well, its pretty loud now, but it will be better tomorrow" or something like this. She never thinks about it or is searching for help or something.

This brings me to the question, if we tinnitus sufferer, are a special kind of people? Of course, everybody is different, but it's interesting that there are people with also loud tinnitus which do not have a real problem with it.
Of course we can say "I'm sure their tinnitus isn't that bad as mine" but I don't think this is always the case?

What do you think?

TinniTom

 

[hoper]

hier!
i also do not care about my tinnitus
worst thing you can do is focus on it 24/7

 

[TinniTom]

And why you are here? The people I'm talking about are not registered here because there is no need for them.

 

[MikeP505]

Some people can adapt to things like this much easier than others. If your tinnitus bothers you a great deal, see your doctor and get a referral to a specialist! Look after yourself. Just because it doesn't bother some, it may be doing harm to your mood and anxiety.

 

[Ed209]

And why you are here? The people I'm talking about are not registered here because there is no need for them.

Most people by and large are not affected as much as we are. It's a personality thing. A lot has to do with coping mechanisms and how stress and other difficulties are dealt with. Some are just better adapted to deal with stuff like this.

I only found out various friends and family members I know have it since mine got worse. I started talking about it and found a strikingly large percentage of people I know have it in varying degrees. Some are quite severe yet I've never heard them complain about it in my life. They are also happy. I believe stress plays a bigger role than we give credit for. There may be a role that cortisol plays in making tinnitus an issue for some, and not for others. I'd say this is combined with how you process your thoughts, because a deeply negative association to tinnitus near onset can be hard to shake off. Others may not give it such a bad association in the first place which is why they habituate so seemlessly.

It's all relative.

 

[TinniTom]

Many thanks Ed! This makes absolutely sense!

 

[Michael Leigh]

My girlfriend and my brother do also have tinnitus but they do not have a problem with it. My girlfriends tinnitus is not that loud as mine, but according to my brother his one is at least the same volume but it doesn't bother him

Tinnitus comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. When it is mild or moderate many people are able to live their life without too much of a problem. When it is severe and intrusive and this is sustained for a period of time, it can become very debilitating. A person's emotional make up also plays a big part in how they are able to cope with the condition. No-one can know what another person is feeling.
Michael

 

[Tamalak]

I think type-A personalities are affected a lot less than type-B. B's like me are out to experience their lives and relax, and T interferes with that a lot more than a mission-oriented personality.

 

[Alue]

I think it's BS just saying it's just a personality thing. I had an ENT tell me that "Well you're just a sensitive person, most people aren't bothered by it.".

I may be more sensitive to sounds than others, but I have a high pain threshold. I've had kidney stones, I partially amputated my finger tip (crushing injury with the bone exposed) and I bandaged it up myself and was completely calm the entire time. The only thing I take pain killers for is kidney stones.
But this tinnitus and hyperacusis is wrecking my life and I would do just about anything to make it go away.

 

[Kar4]

Agree with Ed209 and Michael.
I just want to add a note, that personality type maybe VERY important for acceptance - imagine a person, who needs people around and talk to somebody all the time. Of course everybody needs a time off, be alone and just relax in silence, but for some people it is just "need" with no special meaning - recharge and go on with active social life.
But for some of us (myself included) are lonely silent contemplation very important. Something I used to love, but tinnitus made such moments just frustrating.

 

[Michael Leigh]

I think it's BS just saying it's just a personality thing. I had an ENT tell me that "Well you're just a sensitive person, most people aren't bothered by it.".

ENT doctors know about the anatomy of the ear but the majority of them have never experienced loud intrusive tinnitus, and therefore, know nothing about it.
Michael

 

[Ed209]

I think it's BS just saying it's just a personality thing. I had an ENT tell me that "Well you're just a sensitive person, most people aren't bothered by it.".

I may be more sensitive to sounds than others, but I have a high pain threshold. I've had kidney stones, I partially amputated my finger tip (crushing injury with the bone exposed) and I bandaged it up myself and was completely calm the entire time. The only thing I take pain killers for is kidney stones.
But this tinnitus and hyperacusis is wrecking my life and I would do just about anything to make it go away.

Alue I understand where you're coming from, I too have had my life turned upside down by this condition but I believe our personality has a huge role in how this condition affects us.

As Kar4 rightly pointed out: acceptance is the only way forward. However, getting there is another thing entirely. Some people really can accept stuff like this relatively quickly, and transition back to their old life. It becomes a huge problem when our psychological make-up makes it hard for us to let go. It is almost like grieving the loss of silence, the loss can sometimes be so significant that we hold on and on looking for solutions. It's only when we truly accept (which can be exceptionally hard) that we can move forward with our lives.

Obviously the severity plays a massive part in this but it is not a deal breaker. It can make the road to acceptance longer in some individuals, but in others you will find it's just another ailment with minimal effect on their wellbeing.

The big difference is how we deal with life changing issues. Two different people will tolerate and adapt to various issues entirely differently. We are complex beings and emotions vary significantly, this is critical to how we react to the sound we hear.

 

[Jason C]

Agree with Ed209 and Michael.
I just want to add a note, that personality type maybe VERY important for acceptance - imagine a person, who needs people around and talk to somebody all the time. Of course everybody needs a time off, be alone and just relax in silence, but for some people it is just "need" with no special meaning - recharge and go on with active social life.
But for some of us (myself included) are lonely silent contemplation very important. Something I used to love, but tinnitus made such moments just frustrating.

One would need to be very easy going too not be bothered by tinnitus, I can't even go to a restaurant without my ears going mad when I leave.
I would always have been very sensitive too my body even before t, I would always know if I had a cold coming on about a week before it arrived. My hearing was also super sensitive. Having t is just killing me. I can't relax at all. Can't listen to music as it just sounds wrong, can't even enjoy YouTube videos as the audio sounds wrong. The disruption this has caused my life and my future hasn't even started to sink in yet but I have had to miss weddings, parties, concerts ass becaused of this hell. I sleep only a few hours a night and always broken sleep. When I wake up the t is very quiet but the stress of having it has my anxiety threw the roof. The though of dealing with this for the rest of my life is unbareable.
I have patience, if I though this was going to go away in time I could deal with it but knowing it will never go away and will only likely get worse.... well I dont know what I am going to do now.

 

[Ed209]

One would need to be very easy going too not be bothered by tinnitus, I can't even go to a restaurant without my ears going mad when I leave.
I would always have been very sensitive too my body even before t, I would always know if I had a cold coming on about a week before it arrived. My hearing was also super sensitive. Having t is just killing me. I can't relax at all. Can't listen to music as it just sounds wrong, can't even enjoy YouTube videos as the audio sounds wrong. The disruption this has caused my life and my future hasn't even started to sink in yet but I have had to miss weddings, parties, concerts ass becaused of this hell. I sleep only a few hours a night and always broken sleep. When I wake up the t is very quiet but the stress of having it has my anxiety threw the roof. The though of dealing with this for the rest of my life is unbareable.

Same Jason. I'm highly sensitive and have had other issues in the past that required major surgery to sort. I never thought I'd get over that problem but I did. Then this shit - which I've had for years - suddenly got worse. I thought to myself how much shit do I have to go through? It knocked me to my knees and made me suicidal. It affected me deeply because I'm a professional musician, and in some respect my ears are my life. But, you get to a point where you have to dig deep and say "do I lie here and take it" or do I suck it up and carry on. When there's no choice you have to carry on. If you take it one day at a time you'll find moments of joy returning; maybe only in glimpses to begin with, but eventually there will come points where you'll say "I've had a few happy days there". It builds and at some point you start accepting what fate has dealt you. You have no choice but to make a happy life for yourself under these new conditions, and believe me it possible.

15 years ago I'd have said I'd never get over my other condition, but I did and I'll get over this as well. Why? Because I have to and I've learnt many coping mechanisms. Now I'm content with where I'm at with my T. I wouldn't say I'm over it yet, but I've certainly got a firm grip with one hand on it.

 

[Jason C]

Same Jason. I'm highly sensitive and have had other other issues in the past that required major surgery to sort. I never thought I'd get over that problem but I did. Then this shit - which I've had for years - suddenly got worse. I thought to myself how much shit do I have to go through? It knocked me to my knees and made me suicidal. It affected me deeply because I'm a professional musician, and in some respect my ears are my life. But, you get to a point where you have to dig deep and say "do I lie here and take it" or do I suck it up and carry on. When there's no choice you have to carry on. If you take it one day at a time you'll find moments of joy returning; maybe only in glimpses to begin with, but eventually there will come points where you'll say "I've had a few happy days there". It builds and at some point you start accepting what fate has dealt you. You have no choice but to make a happy life for yourself under these new conditions, and believe me it possible.

15 years ago I'd have said I'd never get over my other condition, but I did and I'll get over this as well. Why? Because I have to and I've learnt many coping mechanisms. Now I'm content with where I'm at with my T. I wouldn't say I'm over it yet, but I've certainly got a firm grip with one hand on it.

It wasn't fait that caused this it was my own stupidity and no patience.i feel I could accept it easier if this was caused by a concert or something and indeed the symptoms probably wouldn't be as bad, this was a powerful alarm which has caused damage closer to blast damage. It isn't even the t that's is most annoying, it's the balance, hyperacusis and the fact I can't enjoy music or relax anymore. I found it hard to relax anyway even before this as my mind was always consumed with something to do or something to get done.

 

[Ed209]

It wasn't fait that caused this it was my own stupidity and no patience.

Same can be said of me. I blamed myself for months because it was a loud gig that caused it. I used to think, "why did I go?"; why didn't I leave?". I used to beat myself up a ridiculous amount, but it doesn't get you anywhere. As they say, there's no point crying over spilt milk. What's done is done. I'd still see it as fate that I attended the gig I went to. When I run it through my mind I've come to accept that I'd do all the same things again, because at the time I had no reason to believe that would happen to me. All I know is a good friend invited me - means I would have gone every time - and if I was back there again, I wouldn't have left either because I had no reason to. I finally accept this and it's kind of a relief. Blaming myself was doing me no good at all.

 

[Jason C]

Same can be said of me. I blamed myself for months because it was a loud gig that caused it. I used to think, "why did I go?"; why didn't I leave?". I used to beat myself up a ridiculous amount, but it doesn't get you anywhere. As they say, there's no point crying over spilt milk. What's done is done. I'd still see it as fate that I attended the gig I went to. When I run it through my mind I've come to accept that I'd do all the same things again, because at the time I had no reason to believe that would happen to me. All I know is a good friend invited me - means I would have gone every time - and if I was back there again, I wouldn't have left either because I had no reason to. I finally accept this and it's kind of a relief. Blaming myself was doing me no good at all.

I knew the danger though. You didn't. You just went to a gig it could have been any gig. I would have gone with my mate too.

The difference is I pretty much put a loaded gun to my head and pulled the trigger. I have no idea why I even decided to work on the alarm in the first place. Any other time I would have said "fuck that"

No such thing as fate though. Just stupidity or in your case bad luck.

 

[Sen]

I regret the hundreds of concerts I've gone to without hearing protection. If I had any idea hyperacusis and tinnitus were a risk, I would have worn hearing protection or simply not attended.

Many of these concerts I didn't even enjoy, I only went because I was heavily involved in the local music scene and often volunteered my time to help organize, set up, and tear down.

What a waste of time, and now a waste of life.

 

[Jason C]

I regret the hundreds of concerts I've gone to without hearing protection. If I had any idea hyperacusis and tinnitus were a risk, I would have worn hearing protection or simply not attended.

Many of these concerts I didn't even enjoy, I only went because I was heavily involved in the local music scene and often volunteered my time to help organize, set up, and tear down.

Well I only managed one concert

Really wanted to see guns n roses next year too and was going to use plugs.

 

[MikeP505]

Does tinnitus actually bother people?? Sheesh, that's news to me........

 

[Ed209]

I knew the danger though. You didn't. You just went to a gig it could have been any gig. I would have gone with my mate too.

The difference is I pretty much put a loaded gun to my head and pulled the trigger. I have no idea why I even decided to work on the alarm in the first place. Any other time I would have said "fuck that"

No such thing as fate though. Just stupidity or in your case bad luck.

You still did it though Jason which means in all likelihood you would have done it again. Whatever drove you to do it is something that is probably inherent to your nature.

Don't beat yourself up, it's simply not worth it and it achieves nothing. Only look forwards, never back. Try to stay positive.

 

[Jason C]

You still did it though Jason which means in all likelihood you would have done it again. Whatever drove you to do it is something that is probably inherent to your nature.

Don't beat yourself up, it's simply not worth it and it achieves nothing. Only look forwards, never back. Try to stay positive.

Yea I'm fucking stupid. I even warned myself about working on these alarms. "Never work on a diamond system alarm" I remember saying that too myself.

Dont break the rules.

It's hard too look forward with this shit. Right now the radio is on in my office and it just sounds like a garbled mess lol wtf!

 

[Michael Leigh]

@Jason C
Life is problematic Jason and rarely does anyone go through it without problems. It is true some have more than their fair share but that's just the way it is. Your auditory system has suffered noise trauma, and it will take time to heal the same as mine did many years ago. As an Audiophile I felt my life had ended. Like you, I couldn't enjoy music as everything sounded wrong and my ears hurt every time I played my HI-FI no matter how low. The severity of my tinnitus was so bad I had to ask people to lower their voice when talking to me.

The auditory system is made up of nerves and yours are hypersensitive at the moment. I advise you to go see an herbalist and tell them what has happened. You will probably be advised to start taking magnesium, which will help repair and calm the auditory nerves. I took magnesium for quite a while.

If you are able to get a referral to a Hearing Therapist for tinnitus counselling then I believe it will help you. One to one tinnitus counselling helps take away and demystify a lot of the negative thinking, that many people new to tinnitus have. It takes time but you will get better and be able to cope. If you haven't started using sound enrichment at night then I advise you to do so ASAP. Using sound enrichment will help desensitise your auditory nerves which will calm your hyperacusis and also help treat the tinnitus.

Michael

 

[Jason C]

I appreciate your advice Michael I really do. Sound enrichment won't help me as the T just rides on top of sound. in silence the t calms down so there is no way I am going to have it raging over the sound all night and I get less sleep than I already am.

I wouldn't have said I am an audiophile but when I look at my life I really was, my cars have Bose, B&O sound systems etc, at home I have a sonus home theatre, Bose lifestyle, Bose headphones etc, I always had music on (not loud loud) I loved the quality of sound and when the wife wasn't about I loved industrial rock like Marilyn Manson and Rob Zombie lol

I just didn't realise how much I loved it until it was gone. My daughter was listening to music on her headphones (volume limited on iPad) last night and she said listen to this daddy (she's only 7) I had too tell her daddy has sore ears

So yea tinnitus is somewhat annoying.

It's soul destroying!

 

[Michael Leigh]

@Jason C

Your tinnitus or I should say: hyperacusis is causing the tinnitus to ride over the sound enrichment. If you are applying it correctly ( and I assume you are ) it means your auditory nerves are being given a workout - this will actually help desensitise them over time.

Give it a while since you can't at the moment, then try using sound enrichment again. Use nature sounds and not music. Something soothing to the ear: gentle rain fall or sounds of the sea....Set the volume low.. Sound enrichment takes time to get used to but believe me it will help you. Also, during the day, try to avoid quiet rooms whenever possible by using sound enrichment in the background gently playing. Sound enrichment at night works when we are in deep sleep. Try and get a referral for tinnitus counselling
Best of luck
Michael

 

[TinniTom]

@Jason C
I agree with Michael! Even tough I prefer to sleep in silence I would recommend to try using nature sounds at the beginning and when you struggling with tinnitus. Of course only if it doesn't hurt for you. When it was very bad for me I was listening to summer rain in a forest which really helped me.
I wish you all the best to go through this,.. and there is no doubt that you will habituate!

Edit: If you haven't done it already, read all the postings in the positivity thread! This helped me a lot!