I had a breakdown and now the H has been getting to me. I took a week off work to really focus on seeing the RIGHT care/specialists.
I am seeing 3 doctors. One audiologist that specializes in T and H, Dr. Hubbard from here that specializes in T and H and a psychiatrist that I found had experience in T.
Yesterday I saw this psychiatrist who was amazing. He spent 2 hours with me. He said the reason I am having so much trouble with all of this is because of my childhood (not that the T isn't real but my very difficult time coping). He gave me a job last night. He said I was to pick a time I would go to sleep and wake up, not do ANYTHING to get to sleep like no meds no wine and NOT TO HAVE ON ANY BACKGROUND NOISE.
I tried and of course panicked, heard my T louder and freaked a bit and started drinking my wine at about 10:30 last night (it helps calm me I know it's not healthy). I DID however get to sleep at 1 am WITHOUT ANY NOISE IN MY ROOM. No air conditioner no TV no white noise. I woke up at 6 am mostly from my own surprise that the T wasn't waking me up. Immediately I thought about my T and it was there ever so softly not blaring not upsetting at all. It was the first time in months I just heard silence...kind of.
I realize now what he wanted. He wanted to push me out of my comfort zone. I didn't accomplish everything he told me last night but I DID find that I could cope better than I had in the nights since 2/1.
T and H is all so psychological. FUCK.
I am seeing 3 doctors. One audiologist that specializes in T and H, Dr. Hubbard from here that specializes in T and H and a psychiatrist that I found had experience in T.
Yesterday I saw this psychiatrist who was amazing. He spent 2 hours with me. He said the reason I am having so much trouble with all of this is because of my childhood (not that the T isn't real but my very difficult time coping). He gave me a job last night. He said I was to pick a time I would go to sleep and wake up, not do ANYTHING to get to sleep like no meds no wine and NOT TO HAVE ON ANY BACKGROUND NOISE.
I tried and of course panicked, heard my T louder and freaked a bit and started drinking my wine at about 10:30 last night (it helps calm me I know it's not healthy). I DID however get to sleep at 1 am WITHOUT ANY NOISE IN MY ROOM. No air conditioner no TV no white noise. I woke up at 6 am mostly from my own surprise that the T wasn't waking me up. Immediately I thought about my T and it was there ever so softly not blaring not upsetting at all. It was the first time in months I just heard silence...kind of.
I realize now what he wanted. He wanted to push me out of my comfort zone. I didn't accomplish everything he told me last night but I DID find that I could cope better than I had in the nights since 2/1.
T and H is all so psychological. FUCK.