Hi everyone,
I'm typing this while holding back tears. I'm a 32-year-old preschool teacher (or at least I was) and a mother of two children, ages 4 and 6. My life has been pretty great, but since having kids, I've struggled with anxiety. To manage it, I decided to try my first antidepressant, Wellbutrin, around Halloween in October. Four weeks later, I started feeling dizzy during Pilates. Then, one day, I woke up with what felt like a fire alarm blaring in my head.
That fire alarm sound lasted a week. I was throwing up, overwhelmed with stress, and being horrible to my family. I felt utterly alone because no one understood what I was going through. I immediately stopped taking the Wellbutrin, as I had already planned to discontinue it. It made me restless and even more anxious.
After the fire alarm sound subsided, the tinnitus changed to a lower volume. It sounded like jingle bells, screeching bus brakes, or sporadic dog whistles, only in my right ear. I was starting to cope better, eating again, distracting myself at the gym, and taking all the vitamins I could think of. I even quit my job, as being around screaming kids all day wasn't working with the tinnitus, which was reactive at first. I was also terrified of causing more damage. Thankfully, I am fortunate to be able to stay home and focus on healing.
I saw an audiologist who found some hearing loss in the high pitch range. An ENT prescribed prednisone: 60 mg for three days, 40 mg for three days, and 20 mg for three days.
After five days of treatment, my left ear started randomly hissing. Occasionally, it would do the classic "eeeeee" sound for a few minutes a few times a day. I decided to stop the prednisone, fearing it was making things worse. Meanwhile, the dog whistles in my right ear continued.
This is now week 3 or 4, and the tinnitus is still there but quieter. I'm hoping that's a good sign. I can sometimes hear it over the TV, in the car, or outside. It changes and fluctuates so much that I can't seem to adjust or ignore it. I'm constantly reminded of it or actively searching for it. It's consuming me, even though I try to stay busy with my kids during the day. As soon as I have downtime, I'm scouring for answers, stories, or anything helpful and relatable. It's ruling my life.
I'm not entirely sure what I'm trying to get out of sharing this. I just feel so alone. I hope this isn't forever. For now, all I have is hope.
I'm typing this while holding back tears. I'm a 32-year-old preschool teacher (or at least I was) and a mother of two children, ages 4 and 6. My life has been pretty great, but since having kids, I've struggled with anxiety. To manage it, I decided to try my first antidepressant, Wellbutrin, around Halloween in October. Four weeks later, I started feeling dizzy during Pilates. Then, one day, I woke up with what felt like a fire alarm blaring in my head.
That fire alarm sound lasted a week. I was throwing up, overwhelmed with stress, and being horrible to my family. I felt utterly alone because no one understood what I was going through. I immediately stopped taking the Wellbutrin, as I had already planned to discontinue it. It made me restless and even more anxious.
After the fire alarm sound subsided, the tinnitus changed to a lower volume. It sounded like jingle bells, screeching bus brakes, or sporadic dog whistles, only in my right ear. I was starting to cope better, eating again, distracting myself at the gym, and taking all the vitamins I could think of. I even quit my job, as being around screaming kids all day wasn't working with the tinnitus, which was reactive at first. I was also terrified of causing more damage. Thankfully, I am fortunate to be able to stay home and focus on healing.
I saw an audiologist who found some hearing loss in the high pitch range. An ENT prescribed prednisone: 60 mg for three days, 40 mg for three days, and 20 mg for three days.
After five days of treatment, my left ear started randomly hissing. Occasionally, it would do the classic "eeeeee" sound for a few minutes a few times a day. I decided to stop the prednisone, fearing it was making things worse. Meanwhile, the dog whistles in my right ear continued.
This is now week 3 or 4, and the tinnitus is still there but quieter. I'm hoping that's a good sign. I can sometimes hear it over the TV, in the car, or outside. It changes and fluctuates so much that I can't seem to adjust or ignore it. I'm constantly reminded of it or actively searching for it. It's consuming me, even though I try to stay busy with my kids during the day. As soon as I have downtime, I'm scouring for answers, stories, or anything helpful and relatable. It's ruling my life.
I'm not entirely sure what I'm trying to get out of sharing this. I just feel so alone. I hope this isn't forever. For now, all I have is hope.
