UGH I Can't Believe Hubby

[Marie79]

So my husband has T. He never even told me until he knew I was struggling with it. I think his is decently loud because I've tried to gage it with questions.

It NEVER bothers him. He never thinks twice about it except for when I ask him. When I ask him he will sometimes say "oh yea it was MUCH LOUDER all day yesterday." and I freak out and ask "OMG what did you do???" "nothing...I just ignore it." He doesn't need anything to help him sleep (noise or otherwise). He is an IT analytic professional so has to be focused and quiet a lot of the time. He never has background noise on purposely.

He is sick right now and I asked him about the T. He has been taking a lot of advil in the past week because of pain/fever. Only because I asked him he said "oh yea it's been REALLY loud I think because of the advil." Never once did he mention this until I asked. He said it did bother him a little to the point that he remembered that I obsess that advil is ototoxic. But it's REALLY loud. He said it's as loud as my voice talking to him. He said it is annoying a little but sure that it will go away after the advil.

It never has been an issue for him.

How can he be like that? No background noise, just super simple "I just ignore it."

 

[Fangen]

My boyfriend have T for several years. Still uses headphones really loud, go to loud places, don't care about what medications that are ototoxic or not. I have finally convinced him to use earplugs if he is going to a club or concert but honestly, we are all different. I have warned him about the danger several times and he does things I could never do, but it is his choice.
Same thing with him not being bothered, he have had it for a long time and he is coping with his in his own way. And if it works for him, then good for him. I work differently and he respects that. Same thing with your hubby, he doesn't feel or think the same way towards T as you and I do, and as long as he doesn't feel bad or bothered by it, then I see no problem with it. We are in awe how they can go around and not think twice about how dangerous things can be but like I said, we can only warn and inform them. In the end, they will make the choice and have to live with the consequences.

 

[fishbone]

who cares, if he never complains.....try being like him please......

 

[Ed209]

@Marie79, this is more the norm believe it or not. I know loads of people with T, and I mean a stupid amount of people. When mine first got worse I discovered my dad has a really bad case of it, and yet I've never heard him say anything about it in his life. From there I've discovered too many people to bore you with the details here, but most of the people I know don't give a single fuck. Sorry to be blunt, but the language truly emphasises this.

This is a support forum so you are preaching to the sufferers. There are millions upon millions out there living normal happy lives with crazy ringing noises in their heads. In fact, if there was such a thing as a tinnitus 'I don't give a shit' forum it would be over subscribed. On here we are looking through the magnifying glass of despair; we have all the worst case scenarios in the world in one place.

Perspective is lost.

With this said however, tinnitus can be utterly evil and should not be undermined when it devastates a persons life. This is the flip side and is the side we get to see on here. I've been through it, and it's horrendously difficult.

 

[Alue]

When he says it's as loud as you talking to him can I assume he means he can hear it while talking to you? Some people confuse tinnitus volume with masking volume. Does he have a hard time hearing your voice over it?

I do know people with mild to moderate tinnitus that are never bothered by it. I ask all these questions, but maybe it's best to leave it be if he is not bothered by it.

 

[Rubenslash]

I also had T and never complained about it as I could easily handle it until it got much worse after noise exposure.

Believe me, people freaking out over T they can only hear in a silent room are in the minority.

 

[lapidus]

It never has been an issue for him.

How can he be like that? No background noise, just super simple "I just ignore it."

What's odd about that? 95% of all people with T do not consider it an issue. We here at TT are either newbies with T who still haven't habituated or we're sufferers belonging to the 5% with troublesome T. Normal T is almost never an issue. My normal T didn't bother once in 1999-2013 before I got severe hyperacusis and developed reactive T.

 

[Ed209]

What's odd about that? 95% of all people with T do not consider it an issue. We here at TT are either newbies with T who still haven't habituated or we're sufferers belonging to the 5% with troublesome T. Normal T is almost never an issue. My normal T didn't bother once in 1999-2013 before I got severe hyperacusis and developed reactive T.

Same. Tinnitus didn't bother me at all until it got worse around 13/14 years later. Nearly 2 years on, and it no longer bothers me again. How long I'll stay like this is anyone's guess, but for now, tinnitus has no emotional impact on me.

 

[Michael Leigh]

It never has been an issue for him. How can he be like that? No background noise, just super simple "I just ignore it."

@Marie79.
Try not to be too surprised by your husband's cavalier attitude to his tinnitus. No doubt there are millions of people outside of this forum that feel the same way. The simple reason for this is because the condition is not severe enough.

As members have said on this thread, they know people with tinnitus that react the same way your husband does. Tinnitus comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. Fortunately, most people have it mild or moderate and are able to habituate and carry on with their life doing everything that they want to with relative ease. Occasionally, it might be intrusive but that still isn't enough to prevent them doing what they want to do or cause an undue amount of stress and anxiety. This spike is usually temporary and in a short space of time the tinnitus returns to baseline and the brain once again ignores it.

However, once tinnitus becomes loud and intrusive and this level is sustained for a period of time, one enters into a completely different arena and set of circumstances. The brain now focuses on it or rather, the part that is called the limbic system, which controls our emotions: love, hate, fear etc. The limbic system grabs onto the tinnitus and doesn't want to let it go. Depending on how severe the tinnitus is and the make up of the individual, will determine how one manages the condition, which can be in a variety of ways.

This might be left to time and one naturally habituates or in some cases a person is referred to a hearing therapist where a variety of different treatments are available to help a person cope with the condition. My article: Tinnitus, A Personal View, goes into this in more detail. You can access it by clicking on the link below.

All the best
Michael
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/

 

[fishbone]

Many people, dream of this situation. Having a spouse that might have an illness or a bad situation and them not complaining. Op is actually asking why, hes not complaining more and showing more frustrations..lol

If he showed more frustrations, then your life would be much more difficult. Why even ask?

 

[grotulon]

Same. Tinnitus didn't bother me at all until it got worse around 13/14 years later. Nearly 2 years on, and it no longer bothers me again. How long I'll stay like this is anyone's guess, but for now, tinnitus has no emotional impact on me.

Do you know why yours got worse, or did it just happen?

 

[Ed209]

Do you know why yours got worse, or did it just happen?

I was at an insanely loud gig in a bar, made worse by the fact that the band area was hosted under a solid brick arch that just reflected sound back at you. Two days later my ears started screaming at me.

 

[grotulon]

I was at an insanely loud gig in a bar, made worse by the fact that the band area was hosted under a solid brick arch that just reflected sound back at you. Two days later my ears started screaming at me.

Ah.. Honestly' I don't even think I belong here, It's my first month and 17 days, and I don't even have a ringing anymore, more so a white noise..

The reason I am here still is because the fear of it getting worse, the hope of it going away is still there, but also because my unaffected ear sometimes is REALLY sensitive to my computer fan, which.. scares me tremendously, because I feel as though if it were going away, my unaffected ear would not start having trouble, IE a super low white noise.. Might I add this is mask-able by typing... Compared to most of you who can't mask it with anything.

 

[Ed209]

Ah.. Honestly' I don't even think I belong here, It's my first month and 17 days, and I don't even have a ringing anymore, more so a white noise..

The reason I am here still is because the fear of it getting worse, the hope of it going away is still there, but also because my unaffected ear sometimes is REALLY sensitive to my computer fan, which.. scares me tremendously, because I feel as though if it were going away, my unaffected ear would not start having trouble, IE a super low white noise.. Might I add this is mask-able by typing... Compared to most of you who can't mask it with anything.

Mine is masked by the shower.

 

[grotulon]

@Marie79.
Try not to be too surprised by your husband's cavalier attitude to his tinnitus. No doubt there are millions of people outside of this forum that feel the same way. The simple reason for this is because the condition is not severe enough.

As members have said on this thread, they know people with tinnitus that react the same way your husband does. Tinnitus comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. Fortunately, most people have it mild or moderate and are able to habituate and carry on with their life doing everything that they want to with relative ease. Occasionally, it might be intrusive but that still isn't enough to prevent them doing what they want to do or cause an undue amount of stress and anxiety. This spike is usually temporary and in a short space of time the tinnitus returns to baseline and the brain once again ignores it.

However, once tinnitus becomes loud and intrusive and this level is sustained for a period of time, one enters into a completely different arena and set of circumstances. The brain now focuses on it or rather, the part that is called the limbic system, which controls our emotions: love, hate, fear etc. The limbic system grabs onto the tinnitus and doesn't want to let it go. Depending on how severe the tinnitus is and the make up of the individual, will determine how one manages the condition, which can be in a variety of ways.

This might be left to time and one naturally habituates or in some cases a person is referred to a hearing therapist where a variety of different treatments are available to help a person cope with the condition. My article: Tinnitus, A Personal View, goes into this in more detail. You can access it by clicking on the link below.

All the best
Michael
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/

I wonder if your T is to a point where it no longer rings, is it possible to habituate it completely out of your mind.

 

[Sam Bridge]

Ah.. Honestly' I don't even think I belong here, It's my first month and 17 days, and I don't even have a ringing anymore, more so a white noise..

The reason I am here still is because the fear of it getting worse, the hope of it going away is still there, but also because my unaffected ear sometimes is REALLY sensitive to my computer fan, which.. scares me tremendously, because I feel as though if it were going away, my unaffected ear would not start having trouble, IE a super low white noise.. Might I add this is mask-able by typing... Compared to most of you who can't mask it with anything.

Heyyy thats what my tinnitus is, a kind of white noise/hum. You still qualify to hang around here , no ringing noises required lol. I thought i'd add that the reason i come here still is because i am generally very much into reading forums. I post on about 3 others regularly. I'm not really in distress about my t.

 

[grotulon]

Heyyy thats what my tinnitus is, a kind of white noise/hum. You still qualify to hang around here , no ringing noises required lol. I thought i'd add that the reason i come here still is because i am generally very much into reading forums. I post on about 3 others regularly. I'm not really in distress about my t.

Was yours a ringing in the beginning? Mine was and it was p/loud , not anymore though sometimes it becomes a very low pitch ring. Has yours gotten better or worse? I feel as though white noise would be easier to deal with

 

[Sam Bridge]

Was yours a ringing in the beginning? Mine was and it was p/loud , not anymore though sometimes it becomes a very low pitch ring. Has yours gotten better or worse? I feel as though white noise would be easier to deal with

Its never been a ringing noise, been the same since it started around 2 years ago.

 

[Michael Leigh]

I wonder if your T is to a point where it no longer rings, is it possible to habituate it completely out of your mind.

@grotulon Tinnitus can be habituated to for some people, to the point where it is "no longer heard" This does not mean fully cured. Before anyone disagrees with this, I want to say such a thing happened to me. I habituated to the point where the tinnitus was no longer heard for the majority of the time. Whenever I did hear it, it was very low and caused no problems. Unfortunately, this can be the danger.

Like many people that habituate and the tinnitus is barely noticeable one can easily forget. Returning to using headphones for instance can be risky for some people, or being exposed to loud sounds can cause the tinnitus to return with a vengence as it did in my case. Not only did it return but it also came with large fluctuations in intensity. From: silent, mild, moderate, severe and extremely severe. It took me 4 years to habituate for the second time in twenty years.

Michael

 

[grotulon]

@grotulon Tinnitus can be habituated to for some people, to the point where it is "no longer heard" This does not mean fully cured. Before anyone disagrees with this, I want to say such a thing happened to me. I habituated to the point where the tinnitus was no longer heard for the majority of the time. Whenever I did hear it, it was very low and caused no problems. Unfortunately, this can be the danger.

Like many people that habituate and the tinnitus is barely noticeable one can easily forget. Returning to using headphones for instance can be risky for some people, or being exposed to loud sounds can cause the tinnitus to return with a vengence as it did in my case. Not only did it return but it also came with large fluctuations in intensity. From: silent, mild, moderate, severe and extremely severe. It took me 4 years to habituate for the second time in twenty years.

Michael

headphones in general, or headphones too loud?

 

[Michael Leigh]

headphones in general, or headphones too loud?

It wasn't caused by headphones. I believe it was caused by my listening to HI-FI at too high a volume although it didn't seem loud to me at the time. I don't advise using any type of headphone even at low volume, for anyone that has tinnitus which was caused by loud noise.
Michael

 

[Marie79]

who cares, if he never complains.....try being like him please......

I would love to be like that. I am happy he is happy though .Just frustrated more at myself not him.

 

[Scared111]

I would love to be like that. I am happy he is happy though .Just frustrated more at myself not him.

but was he always like that? even when he first got t?

 

[Marie79]

but was he always like that? even when he first got t?

He doesn't even know how or when he first got it. He said one time he was shooting guns without hearing protection and for a few days it was so loud it literally made him not hear anything but it went away.

He has no feeling or care behind it even when it gets louder. Falls asleep in seconds in a completely quiet room even when he is saying it's super loud..

 

[Scared111]

He doesn't even know how or when he first got it. He said one time he was shooting guns without hearing protection and for a few days it was so loud it literally made him not hear anything but it went away.

He has no feeling or care behind it even when it gets louder. Falls asleep in seconds in a completely quiet room even when he is saying it's super loud..

how great for him! wish i can feel like he does. i just can't seem to sleep well

 

[Jkph75]

From reading this, I think it doesn't bother him because it really isn't that loud in the first place. He said that it was as loud as you talking to him when it was much louder than it usually is. That isn't that loud. Sounds like his is fairly mild. I think that is the norm for most people. Maybe not people here, but tinnitus sufferers in general. If I could just drown out this sound with the low hum of a refrigerator or a fan, I'm not sure that this would even register as a problem to me.

 

[Michael B]

I'm in the same situation as Marie. My wife has it and never complains, never even talks about it. It drives me insane knowing it doesn't bother her but I think it's more of a reflection on me than her!