- Aug 9, 2023
- 2
- Tinnitus Since
- 07/2023
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Earwax + Acoustic Trauma (Cinema)
Hello all,
I first got tinnitus on the evening of Monday 10th July. I was watching YouTube on my phone with my AirPods plugged in at what seemed like a reasonable volume when I started hearing an unusual whistling sound in my right ear. Thinking nothing of it, I went to sleep.
The sound persisted and morphed over the next few days, never ceasing. On the Thursday that week I saw my GP who identified a large earwax buildup. I was told to use olive oil eardrops to break it down. However, my anxiety grew immensely that day for fear of this becoming permanent. I had read too many horror stories on Google and feared for my future greatly. This anxiety caused me to shake a lot that evening in fear, and no doubt was the cause of an immense spike that night. The spike was so great that I was certain to end my life by walking in front of a train if the earwax removal I had thankfully gotten couldn't remedy the problem. Thankfully, the tinnitus lessened that day and with support from my family I was able to make it through. Over the next two weeks the tinnitus subsided completely. I had recovered and had a second chance.
Until Monday last week. Monday, July 31st 2023. The day I blew my second chance at life. My friend was going through something horrible. Her mother was dying on the other side of the world due to cancer. I wanted to support her as best I could, and cheer her up. I took her to a cinema to see Barbie that evening. It was supposed to take her mind off things for a few hours. The sound was quite loud at the cinema and I covered my ear a few times. I didn't want to be a buzzkill and ask to leave though.
That night my tinnitus came back, and has persisted ever since. The worst sound is when it's loud and high pitched. It upsets me a lot. I never thought this would happen. Why did I go? Why did I throw away my second chance at life?
I saw an ENT at Harley Street who prescribed me some Prednisolone and Serc. They thought I've either got damage to the cochlea, or just an inflammation causing a fluid buildup. The tests indicated my hearing is mostly fine. My gut says there's damage. I've been on the meds for nearly a week and seen no measurable improvement. To me it's increasingly clear that this is going to be a long term thing for me.
This is my life now. I blew it. I should have worn headphones. I shouldn't have gone to that cinema. I had one chance at life and gave this to myself. I know that for as long as I live, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.
I'm hoping to be able speak with other people who can help me with the emotional impact this dreadful condition has. I'll try to add something myself. I don't want to keep lurking anymore.
I first got tinnitus on the evening of Monday 10th July. I was watching YouTube on my phone with my AirPods plugged in at what seemed like a reasonable volume when I started hearing an unusual whistling sound in my right ear. Thinking nothing of it, I went to sleep.
The sound persisted and morphed over the next few days, never ceasing. On the Thursday that week I saw my GP who identified a large earwax buildup. I was told to use olive oil eardrops to break it down. However, my anxiety grew immensely that day for fear of this becoming permanent. I had read too many horror stories on Google and feared for my future greatly. This anxiety caused me to shake a lot that evening in fear, and no doubt was the cause of an immense spike that night. The spike was so great that I was certain to end my life by walking in front of a train if the earwax removal I had thankfully gotten couldn't remedy the problem. Thankfully, the tinnitus lessened that day and with support from my family I was able to make it through. Over the next two weeks the tinnitus subsided completely. I had recovered and had a second chance.
Until Monday last week. Monday, July 31st 2023. The day I blew my second chance at life. My friend was going through something horrible. Her mother was dying on the other side of the world due to cancer. I wanted to support her as best I could, and cheer her up. I took her to a cinema to see Barbie that evening. It was supposed to take her mind off things for a few hours. The sound was quite loud at the cinema and I covered my ear a few times. I didn't want to be a buzzkill and ask to leave though.
That night my tinnitus came back, and has persisted ever since. The worst sound is when it's loud and high pitched. It upsets me a lot. I never thought this would happen. Why did I go? Why did I throw away my second chance at life?
I saw an ENT at Harley Street who prescribed me some Prednisolone and Serc. They thought I've either got damage to the cochlea, or just an inflammation causing a fluid buildup. The tests indicated my hearing is mostly fine. My gut says there's damage. I've been on the meds for nearly a week and seen no measurable improvement. To me it's increasingly clear that this is going to be a long term thing for me.
This is my life now. I blew it. I should have worn headphones. I shouldn't have gone to that cinema. I had one chance at life and gave this to myself. I know that for as long as I live, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.
I'm hoping to be able speak with other people who can help me with the emotional impact this dreadful condition has. I'll try to add something myself. I don't want to keep lurking anymore.