What About God?

erniej

Member
Author
Nov 19, 2015
136
Massachusetts
Tinnitus Since
1991
Cause of Tinnitus
I don't know
I have to ask. If there is really one, where's God while we go through this horrible torment? Is he just looking down smiling? I'm sure I'm not the only one that has thought this. I have all my paperwork in order. I'm going to go and ask him.
 
@erniej I think that's a terrible statement ...No one is forced to believe in God but those that do and find strength in the word and the faith which it brings can and pray for a better future for all. What negative is there to having faith?
 


ernie,
I am so sorry for your profound suffering having read your posts. Not much any of can say to help you diminish your pain. There is so much suffering in the world ernie. Innocent beautiful children maimed in accidents every day. Young kids from good families contracting rare disease or born with unthinkable birth defects and lead a life of suffering.

I wish you and everybody here some level of peace. I have my thoughts on God's intervention on the planet and you can probably surmise my view in the face of incredible beauty of the design of the planet and complexity of human beings coming from the primordial soup.
 
@erniej I think that's a terrible statement ...No one is forced to believe in God but those that do and find strength in the word and the faith which it brings can and pray for a better future for all. What negative is there to having faith?
Faith is fleeting in the face of unthinkable pain. Ernie has extreme tinnitus and is likely tormented by it more than any of us imagine.
 
How is extreme tinnitus defined? Just curious.
Its a qualitative term. Nobody has a dB meter built into their head of course. My presumption is, since you asked, you don't have it. A small subset of tinnitus suffers do. Tinnitus like many disorders is a bell curve of debilitation. Some have an intermittent level of tinnitus they can barely hear on a bad day and others daily feel like they are next to a Boeing Jet liner at take off without ear protection...like standing next to siren. Read Ernie's posts. He's is a perfectly rational man who is desperate. Levels of tinnitus are not the same among sufferers. For example, mine is not severe. It may become severe with greater time or hopefully it will subside. I have had a life long of perfect hearing until one day. Once is a while my T relents and is barely audible (to me). Some days...today is a medium day...it is clearly audible but I can become distracted and forget about...no problem sleeping etc. Some are not so lucky if having tinnitus can ever be considered lucky.

Ernie, I just hope you keep fighting the good hard fight you always have and never lose sight of those that are equally tormented throughout the world that find meaning in their lives. Don't lose hope for a cure either or at least a therapy that may reduce your sound level. Each of us are pulling for you brother and one another..
 
I have spikes that just stay at that volume. When my tinnitus spikes to a new level, it stays there until the next spike. I have had tinnitus since 1991 but this new version started a year ago. It has this piercing quality that actually is painful. I even get sick to my stomach. And I know people mean well but when someone says to hang in there because it will get better I want to start screaming. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Well, there is one doctor at the Beth Israel Hospital that I would wish this on.
 
This issue of how "extreme" or "severe" someone's tinnitus comes up a lot at TT. So far, I like the @stophiss explanation. There is no set definition for tinnitus severity and I don't know if you can say how "loud" it is, as (because as mentioned above) there is no dB meter in our heads. But if you have tinnitus that disturbs you greatly most of the time, that makes you feel sick or constantly anxious or panicked, that makes you feel like there is a jet engine is inside your head, that makes you question if life is worth living: you have severe tinnitus.

Also: Severe tinnitus may come and go, as it has with @erniej. So it's not correct (as occasionally happens here) to assume that someone who doesn't have severe tinnitus won't understand what someone who has severe T is going through -- because that first someone may have had severe T at some point.

For example, my tinnitus was severe for the first six, seven months, to the point I considered ending it all. It was constant and sparked rolling panic attacks. Then, it got better. Today, I would put my tinnitus at "light moderate," depending on the day. God help me if it goes back to severe -- but I live knowing that is possible, although not inevitable. If it happens, I'll have to deal with it then. I try not to worry about it now but just take as good of care of myself as I can.

Anyway, I am so sorry erniej. Try to hang in there.

As for faith and God, the original topic of this post: That's up to the individual, as far as I am concerned. If you believe in God and find strength in faith, good for you. If not -- there are many other ways to find strength. There is no right or wrong way here.
 
While spiritual believe can help you through certain tough times, either this "God" creature is evil, or there is no God.
My finger is on the latter.
or...there is/was a master creator because of the order of the universe and complexity of animals including human beings...however that master creator does not interdict. Too much suffering to justify a benevolent god who cherry picks who gets a miracle. :)
 
I have spikes that just stay at that volume. When my tinnitus spikes to a new level, it stays there until the next spike. I have had tinnitus since 1991 but this new version started a year ago. It has this piercing quality that actually is painful. I even get sick to my stomach. And I know people mean well but when someone says to hang in there because it will get better I want to start screaming. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Well, there is one doctor at the Beth Israel Hospital that I would wish this on.
I hope you have tried everything under the sun. I presume you have. If that desperate I wouldn't rule out LSD or even hallucinogens and please nobody take my advice...but I would look to mind altering drugs to help neuroplasticity along a bit if you will. This has cured some suffering from mental illness due to trauma in their lives. At least buy the fastest Ducati motorcycle available and ride it like you stole it and be sure to install aftermarket pipes. Ear plugs are optional. If in your shoes, I would probably resort to extreme sports as well. Jump out of lot of airplanes and cliff dive. Live like no tomorrow. No guarantee for any of us. We do want you to continue to fight. But meanwhile resort to activities and therapies you haven't considered for at least a distraction. You know the definition of insanity I am sure. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. F that. Change it up.
 
I have spikes that just stay at that volume. When my tinnitus spikes to a new level, it stays there until the next spike. I have had tinnitus since 1991 but this new version started a year ago. It has this piercing quality that actually is painful. I even get sick to my stomach. And I know people mean well but when someone says to hang in there because it will get better I want to start screaming. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Well, there is one doctor at the Beth Israel Hospital that I would wish this on.

Was this caused by benzo withdrawal?
 
It very well could be. When it started getting bad last year I increased my dose of Xanax but it kept getting worse. I don't think tapering me off of 6MGs daily of Klonopin in 12 days helped. I go through the "maybe it's this, or could it be that, cycles." I can feel the muscles in the back of my neck going into spasms because of my arthritis so now I'm sure it's that. Next week I'll be sure it's something else. It could be Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome from the dangerous rapid Klonopin taper. My legs went numb from it seven months and stayed that way even today. And I have no sex life because my legs aren't the only thing that went numb. God, I could have attacked the doctor that did this to me and all that would have happened was I would have got shot up with some good shit and put in an isolation room for the day. I saw it happen. The guy in the bed next to me attacked a orderly and got an injection and went in the isolation room for the day. I had my chance. I'm getting off topic.
 
It very well could be. When it started getting bad last year I increased my dose of Xanax but it kept getting worse. I don't think tapering me off of 6MGs daily of Klonopin in 12 days helped. I go through the "maybe it's this, or could it be that, cycles." I can feel the muscles in the back of my neck going into spasms because of my arthritis so now I'm sure it's that. Next week I'll be sure it's something else. It could be Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome from the dangerous rapid Klonopin taper. My legs went numb from it seven months and stayed that way even today. And I have no sex life because my legs aren't the only thing that went numb. God, I could have attacked the doctor that did this to me and all that would have happened was I would have got shot up with some good shit and put in an isolation room for the day. I saw it happen. The guy in the bed next to me attacked a orderly and got an injection and went in the isolation room for the day. I had my chance. I'm getting off topic.

After I developed somewhat of a klonopin tolerance, I took a drug called Lamictal that works on glutamate (I believe it lowers it) and that lowered my tinnitus for some time but then it went up, then I took some other meds with it, it lowered again, and back and forth and I am trying to figure out what is going on. Yesterday was real loud. I heard rapid tapering from klonopin causes a "glutamate storm". Those doctors that just say get off of it have no freaking clue. My grandfather was told to quit Valium cold turkey and went through a terrible depression.
 
I was raised as a christian and believe some supreme being is responsible for the creation of the universe. I do prey periodically and certainly to rid me of tinnitis. Gets a little confusing when their are so many religions and so many different beliefs. If you study Stephan Hawkins philosophy it will blow religion out the window with his theories....I will include you in a prayer that you get some relief erniej and all of us that suffer from this condition.....
 
Stephen Hawking, Sigmund Freud, Katherine Hepburn, Warren Buffet, David Suzuki, George Carlin, Bruce Lee, Mick Jagger just to name a few all believe/believed in Atheism. They believe no God exists for it is simply impossible. Even the great Albert Einstein had a different approach on God, not believing in the one God as we are taught. He spoke of this to discern himself from Atheism and the public outcry it carried back then however his real view may really have been that he believed in no God.

Most of these people on the list have above average IQ's and some are in the genius level. They simply believe we are born, live the life we have and return to the earth as shadow and dust. Thats it. No resurrection, no heaven, no hell, just here and gone.

I have a hard time in believing there may be something else after this life, however it's a nice thought. Exactly how we first came to this planet or evolved on this planet is the puzzle. I was born into a Catholic family tradition. As a child I attended masses, church events etc with my parents. As I got older I realized the greed involved in religion. It's all about the mighty dollar for most churches. This just added to my confusion and disdain on religion and God.

My personal views may seem bad to some, however I just have a hard time believing this wonderful and great God would allow so much suffering for His children. I do hold out a glimmer of hope there may be more after this life we have however.......................................
 
There is no God. If you believe he has control to save you I ask what you did that he is punishing you. If nothing than is he really worthy of praise?


Exactly.
 
Well said Mike. Some of the greatest thinkers of our time didn't believe in God.
Lack of belief in god may not be incompatible with a spiritual superhighway...a collective consciousness however. Here is one high IQ neurosurgeon's take after a near death experience. He operates on brains and didn't believe in collective consciousness until what happened to him.
 
@stophiss

Indeed a fantastic story from Dr, Eben Alexander. I have also read storied from near death people about the HELL from dying. The despair and utter loneliness of passing from here into death. Many have said the synapses in the brain trigger so many hallucinations as they begin to die off. They fire rapidly trying to force the body to help them to survive. Why some people experience utopia and some experience hell is beyond me. I am simply an average IQ man who does his best to understand the true meaning of life and death.

The Dr. also spoke of reincarnation. To me this seems so far fetched. Look at the population of the world today as compared to 1000 years ago. Almost 7.5 Billion souls are alive on this planet today. Not every soul can be a reincarnation. So if God has the ability to create so many new souls so easily, why send any old soul back? What purpose would that be? Questions questions..........

I do however firmly believe we as humans interact with each other on a scale most would think is impossible. Sort of like the butterfly effect you may have heard of. You cause a ripple of movement, it travels and interacts with something or someone. Many of us have the ability to look another person in the eye and get an Idea of what that person has been thru in life. Simply by eye contact. So indeed there may be a collective soul while alive. I also feel if you try to do good with others, good will come your way. If you are cruel and care less of others, this will also come your way. Call it Karma? Call it a collective soul?

When I go thru bad times or misery, I don't blame God. I simply blame circumstance. I had quite a normal life until I needed emergency surgery on my left kidney (the only one I have) . I was released from the hospital the day after surgery and the very next morning after, I woke up almost completely deaf and with this nasty loud Tinnitus. My life has been a struggle since. I am completely the opposite of who I once was. I did not blame God for not looking after me. I figured I had a bad reaction to a drug they give to patience who suffer Renal failure. I also never really took care of my hearing to begin with in my good days. Quite simply put, it was just bad luck for me that this happened, and now I live in poverty but still enjoy the little things on this fantastic planet we live on. Today I am totally deaf, unemployed with a small disability pension that wont even cover rent, and am holding out hope there will be some help for my issues in the years to come. The years I have left may very well be the only life I have left, as God and heaven are still hard to grasp. This is what keeps me going. If I firmly believed in an existence beyond life on earth, I most likely would have asked for His forgiveness and ended my mortal life.
 
I also believe what @Carlos1 is saying. No one is forced to believe in God. Many who have deep faith have every right to hold onto it. If God exists, then we will all find out for sure one day. If there is no God, well after we pass into dust, no one will know the difference. It simply is too bad that corruption and greed has entered into religion. I believe every man, deep down, wants to help a fellow man at times. Once a man gets a taste of power, greed infects his soul.

These issues add to confusion and belief. Why do we have "Developed Countries" and those less fortunate countries? Why are some countries stable most times and others are war torn and full of hate? Why are many born "normal" and many born with severe issues and handicaps? Are we as a human race so young and naive and need to learn from this? Is this God's intention? So many questions..................
 
I compare God to the last Emperor of China. Everyone worshiped him but he didn't have the power to do anything. In the movie The Devils Advocate Al Pachino called him an absentee landlord...
 
@erniej

I felt called to respond to an earlier post you had written. I tried to message you but I was not able to. Now I see that you are posting about the very thing that I was going to write you. God loves you. He does not want you to suffer. What you suffer now is no comparison to what you would suffer in an eternity away from Him. Sometimes he allows a person to suffer because it will bring them closer to Him. All things work together for those who love God. I personally have gone through things for years that I could not understand, even as a believer. I didn't understand why God was allowing such tragedy in my life. Now looking back it all makes sense. I couldn't see the plan He had for me, but I can now clearly see that his plan was superior to mine. I have also had God work real miracles in my life, so I know that it is possible. You are not alone. He sent his Son to die for us, so that we could be saved from the misery that is a life without Him. Ask Jesus to come into your heart and he will comfort you and save you from your pain. If you want to talk, feel free to message me. I will be praying for you.
 
You say God does not want me to suffer. If you and your child was standing on a frozen pond and your child fell through the ice and was crying for you to help them out would you just stand there and tell them how much you loved them and how much it hurt you to see them suffer and then do nothing? Their plan would be to get out of the ice water. Your plan would be to let them drown. I like their plan.
he allows a person to suffer because it will bring them closer to Him.
Why the hell would I want anything to do with ANYONE that would just stand there and let me suffer? I'd rather that they'd just leave me alone. If someone keeps kicking me in the shin I'm not sticking around, I'm running away.
Ask Jesus to come into your heart and he will comfort you and save you from your pain.
I used to hear the same thing from this person who used to call me on the phone.
The problem with religion is God has no accountability at all. All pain and suffering is all part of some mysterious greater plan. Hit a Jesus freak with logic and the first thing they will say is that they don't have all the answers.
In addition, I think God has a would wide pain quota that he needs to meet. Only problem is that he doesn't spread it around evenly.
 
erniej I am so sorry for what you are going through. All I can offer is my promise that there is a loving Heavenly Father that knows what you are experiencing and is right there with you until the day you will be free of this burden. You may be learning something through this that is preparing you for an immense experience of relief and true peace one day. Time passes quicker than we think. Don't lose your hope. Help is coming.
 
There is no God. I have Always been a very friendly, non violent, positive person. I have the most beatiful children I love so much. But I'm got of this horrible disease called tinnitus. I know one day I won't be able to bare this torture anymore. My heart is sick and hurting. I have to die a slow and painful death. I wish I was a dog. At least they get a mercy killing.
 

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