What's Gone Wrong?

[UKJon]

The last 4-5 days have been some of the best this year. I really felt that habituation was happening. My T just wasn't on my mind as much and I've begun to socialize again and put a few more things into my diary. It's still only really noticeable in quiet environments but it does wind up each time I'm out before going down again at home. However, I took no Valium for 5 days until today when I took three in 24 hours.

Today has been bad again and I'm so upset because I really thought I had it sussed and was beginning to understand what it's pattern and limitations were. I don't want to go back to where I was months ago and I'm terrified it will get worse. My ears have been itching terribly at times recently although my doctor can see nothing wrong and they sometimes feel 'full' when I'm anxious with the occasional spasm of pain. I'm due to see my audiologist in a couple of days.

I really thought that I was starting to get my life back and I still have spells of silence or near silence. I just can't get used to spikes because they're so unpredictable and remind me that my T is still there and capable of ruining my day.

I got my T in October 2014 and I'm STILL not habituated. That's all I want for Christmas.

 

[glynis]

Hi UKjon,
The spike could well be due to taking no valium for 5 days as it works on the brain and caused a withdrawal spike and the anxiety side effects too.
If you stop taking valium do it under your doctors supervision .
The anxiety alone coming off valium is bad enough ...lots of love glynis x

 

[RAY]

Hi John
T has a nasty way of telling us its still there, we can be lulled into a false sense of well-being with our T only to be brought back down to earth with a nasty jolt, that said I would not be too hard on yourself, you have proved that you can indeed go days without noticing your T which is a good thing.

You could well be a little nervous or even apprehensive when you do go out, perhaps that's why it revs up a gear but well done for getting that foot, out that door, it does us no good to sit at home mulling over the why's and what iff's of T we have to get back to a more normal way of life, easy I know, but we must try.

I gave up years ago trying to Fathom out a routine with T, still to this day I'm baffled so your not alone there, it could be the valium causing the spike, but then again I'm no expert, but you might have a point. As far as the Magic habituation point goes well we all reach it at some point, believe me, but we are all different and we get there in our own time, so don't be in a hurry it will come. I always say this there are no deadlines to meet or indeed time limits when it comes to habituation IT IS THERE

 

[UKJon]

Well I think that it's because my T winds up when I'm out and I've latched onto that even though it always goes down afterwards at home. I guess it is slightly 'reactive'

It's a bit like temporarily hearing what your T could be like permanently and you hope and pray that it does go down again. This is alarming.

Plus, I can go to sleep calm and wake up with T more noticeable. My jaws are often clenched at night. I just think it's that feeling of not being in control. That T is free to play any cruel trick on you.

However, Someone on this site said to think of the big picture and don't forget the good days. I think it's possible for my Tinnitus to become the 'new normal', something that becomes boring even familiar. Something that recedes into the wings rather than being center stage. I'm still not there yet after one year plus.

 

[glynis]

UKjon,
I think your anxiety of what is going to happen seems the problem and a little worried if your tinnitus is going to calm down.
I think for a lot of us our tinnitus ramps up when we come from outside as outside has lots of masking sounds.
I don't know how I would react as mine never changes and one constant severe sound in both ears with the drone that comes and goes .
I just now give up in letting my ears and Menieres and breathing problems from ruining my life and know it's up to me now which way I want my life to go.

@Michael Leigh my dear friend knows what I go through and its tough going at times.

Try not let tinnitus take away your smile and laughter and look for all the positives you can get out of each day....lots of love glynis