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DamagedJoe
Exactly 4 months ago I woke up wishing it was a nightmare. The last month has really sucked. I definitely very often have the feeling that absolutely nothing has improved. It's this malignant certainty that it will stay like this for the rest of my life. When I use earplugs, it still throws me into a depressive phase because all I hear is the ringing. I want silence back so much.
Tryn2BHopeful
Why is T so fricken variable?... one day its ok, the next is pure hell. Ugh... what did we do to deserve this?!
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Tryn2BHopeful
I hear you, and I know your right. However its just hard to feel that way. I was so close to getting over the hump... and I screwed up. I am tired, stressed and I just don't know how to find my way back again. I need to stop blaming myself and move forward, easier said than done. As always I appreciate your comments.
MindOverMatter
I know the feeling @Tryn2BHopeful I came out from a long lasting spike recently. It took about 2 months to normalize again. But once I was to take a step back and shift my focus again, I started afirming to myself that I'll be okay. I've been here so many times before, and I've done it before.
MindOverMatter
The storm you are in at the moment won't last you forever. You will rise again. Keep your head up mate - you'll get there. One day at a time.
delta784
hey kdmg do you have tinnitus alongside with nox h? and do you have visual snow thx
Andrei88
Have had very bad T and pain H for about 14 years now, it still sucks and robbed me of things I used to be able to do and enjoy. Typing this with raging T and pain. It only ends in my dreams. Waking up feels like a bomb went off in my head every morning.
vilebubbles
You're strong. I've only been dealing with this 5 months and I'm ready to throw in the towel.
Pinhead
Getting a tooth extracted on Wednesday. Considering the universe is malign and evil, I am guessing my torturous screaming brain will become worse.
Sodlin
Had no "spike" after doing all that work on the car yesterday but today its a little bit elevated (more hissy). Think i have been abit stressed under the night and tensed myself. Will see how it goes.
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Sodlin
Yes. It so hard to be trying to live your life and not get tinnitus get in your way or just stop doing everything becuase of the tinnitus. its a very hard life to navigate in. My main issue is that always freak out over these thing that it "might have been to loud" then i get nervous and stressed out.
MindOverMatter
It is difficult to navigate through, no doubt about that. The "might have" and "what ifs" is pure fuel for this condition. They are like reminders for the brain. Reminding about the trauma many of us had after getting this, or getting worse at one point. Therefore I think positive affirmations is an important tool to use to navigate life with this, and not give the fear too much space.
orenge01
@MindOverMatter Exactly those thoughts it's just feeding this condition, the key is to not even let it get that power. Don't let it have any bit of it and stand your ground. It's definitely so much easier said than done though.
Sodlin
Any car mechanics in the group? I hade to change wheelbearing in my old car and i was force to use alot of "hammering" to get it out. I was wearing both Earplugs 35 DB AND Peltor 35 DB. Just looking for some reasurance because it was abit uncomfortable when there was metal on metal hit. I also manage to drop a giant ironbar when i remove the earmuffts (still earplugs in tho thank god........
ZFire
You're good. You took great precaution (double protection) beforehand
Sodlin
@ZFire The thing i dont understand is that i got in from the garage and the tinnitus actually felt more silent then normal and i had no earfullness after that event. The day after i woke up (after being very worried earlier after what ive done) to a bit more "hissy" tone. and today after 2 days of worrying its very "hissy" in my ears. It must be a spike from worrying or am i wrong?
vilebubbles
Another day in my room in plugs. So scared this Ativan taper will kill me. I'm not nearly as strong as Padraigh or Brian and look what it did to them. They have kids too. Benzos are evil.
vilebubbles
Holding on for my son, Kai. Kai buddy I love you more than anything in this world and mommy is trying to get better for you.
vilebubbles
Staying on my taper of Ativan at 1/4 of a 0.5 pill 3x a day. My tinnitus is insane. 10 different sounds in head and ears. I'm also having ear pain and extreme hyperacusis. I'm very scared. It seems all the suicide stories here got bad multitonal tinnitus from benzos like me. Trying to stay strong but worried I'll just be a memorial post in a few months. One tone vibrates my entire head.
Pinhead
I'll soon hit my four year anniversary. I'm not happy that I've made it this long. Every day has been pure suffering. Not worth it.
DamagedJoe
I'm very sorry for you. My "journey" with reactive T has only just begun. Almost 4 months now. I'm not sure yet if I want to continue living like this. I still have hope for improvement, but it's fading.
Theezy
Had some setbacks this past month, and have been struggling pretty badly again. Essentially, I make some delicate progress between setbacks, and then any harsh noise exposure 100x trumps all of that, rinse and repeat. Extremely frustrating to say the least

Started reading Kevin Hogan's "Turning the Volume Down" and trying to incorporate some practices

If you have any suggestions or just want to chat/vent, I'm here
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Theezy
Hey vilebubbles, sorry to hear that, I sympathize with you. The initial months after a worsening can be extremely challenging. Was there a specific incident that started this one? When I had my sharpest worsening a couple years ago I was a wreck for a long time, and the condition went up and down but very gradually improved. Have you tried or looked into any treatments?
vilebubbles
Hi theezy, I was on 2 ototoxic meds & had a noise injury. Cold turkey's my meds (bad idea!), T went mild to moderate & h came. Started benzos for TTTS, then started to taper after a few weeks and now my T is catastrophic and I'm getting pain in ears too :/
Theezy
Gotcha sorry to hear, mines been mostly noise related/random. I've never personally used benzos or any meds that spiked before, but I've seen plenty of stories where people get a lot better over time after getting off. It's super tough to be in the acute stages :/
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