Pinhead

I have never been able to push any noise or distraction to the background. This is the crux of the issue with my T.

I mean, for most of my life, I sat in quiet and read. Years of philosophical research to work towards my PhD. So many worlds I made in my mind through fantasy and sci-fi literature, and I can't imagine a single image now. It's an empty space between my two ears.

I feel very much the same way a good deal of the time if not most. The focus toward the the ringing and obsessive monitoring of this condition seems to paralysis free thought. Weirdly enough I think I do it to myself though. Because even while I find it difficult to concentrate. I can ironically sit here and read threads from tinnitus talk all day.

I found the only way I was able to read for awhile was in a hot Epsom salt bath with my violet noise mix playing. Sometimes a candle. Now I still read in the bath best but I'm able to do it in quiet. I read mostly fantasy, so it's my escapism and it's one of the only times I don't "hear" my T.

At this point, it's like asking me to get over the fact that I have legs and stop walking everywhere. It's absurd and pretty annoying.

I feel ya. Sorry you don't have more sympathetic people around.

So sorry. So true. 3 years. I can’t believe it’s been around 15 months for me. Can’t wait at 18 months I should be fully habituated. :)

I assume Time Enough at Last. The last few minutes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLoNGRVeC7Y

@gameover one guy told me. How loud is going to get. It’s not going to make my head explode. He says after 3 years he just lives. Eats and endures the major spikes. They say that it’s insuring the spikes that leads to habitation.

@gameover I find it hard to accept that my friends are that much different when I know that they are .. they are not impacted by food or clenching or touching the side of your head. I feel like I’m wrong but I at the same time that I need to learn to eat and go out and let it do what it is going to do…

@gameover / I just don’t have a life that will make me think or live different. This is a problem for me. I cut everything out of my life. I cannot reinvent my life. This is FN crazy. The stupidity that got me here drives me insane. Sorry for all the typos and grammar errors. I waiting to see an ENT. Another waist of time!!

I know this feeling well. One day in December I woke up and it was so quiet I thought it had gone. I had to listen for several minutes to find it. Those days are well and truly gone, it's 10/10 24/7 now.

:| sorry

This is so true. I feel like an Alien on this planet. I was so happy. I try so hard not to give a shit about this noise. It consumes me beyond words. It’s just to loud and worsens. I have not been able to enjoy anything. The last few days 24/7 stress. Trying so hard.

I was a manger for 23 years. Had to step away. Try all you. Can not to leave work. Besides the money work is a good and needed distraction. Not to say I did not feel like you do everyday when I was working.

How do you treat that nerve damage. I think I have nerve damage too due to high bilirubin in blood. Gilbert Syndrome.

This is just my conclusion after reading some things. I don’t have pain specifically in response to sound.

@Pinhead i think i have nerve pain / damage too but im not sure what to do about it. i thought tinnitus was just supposed to be a sound. id be managing better if it was but some days the pain and pressure is insane.

I hate to agree with you here. I had have tried everything too. Volume and reactivity is everything. I want so bad not to give a shit!!

That is why it is the worst kind of gaslighting when "tinnitus therapists" tell us that our mindset and mood define our T volume. Utter BS. It has nothing to do with it. If your T fades, and I sure hope it will, it can do so while you are thinking happy thoughts or wishing you had never been born. T is indifferent to our feelings, as are facts.

Have a Nice Life songs are always so harrowingly beautiful. Music sometimes detail my experiences & feelings better than words can. Post more songs that relate to you if you're up to it, I'd love to listen :)

My 2 year is May 1st.

Sounds like a good time; I wish I could join you.

May 14th is my two year worsening anniversary. Well done on reaching three.

My standard answer: Not good. Can't do much of anything about it, though. Not really living anymore.

:(

Sounds like it. Mine just got worse and worse. Then Noxacusis kicked in.

I started w/o H then I got it in one ear and then both ears and now I get pain @ certain sounds. And now every few days I get this pressure or fullness. It's a fucked up journey.

@Utdmad89 What was your progression like? I think I may just be 'hyper-aware', but it's incredibly hard to tell.